I can't keep female neurotypical friends

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Repeating that something is sexist because someone else said so, is an extension of propaganda from the original source of the propaganda.

I see a lot of misandrist propaganda that has occurred in this thread already, it doesn't bear repeating.

^ Maybe, as other members have done, she evaluated the evidence and came to the conclusion that posts were sexist of her own accord.

Hopefully, you reported any misandrist posts/propaganda you’ve come across. I always do.

I've never understood why someone would dodge responding to me to argue more with you. It's not like I'm a particularly skilled debater so I can't assume it's the belief that shutting me up is a particularly difficult task.

Is this meant to be a reference to me? Because I posted on this thread calling out Cyberdad's sexist statements on page 3. But as Twilight Princess has noted, his and your interest seems to be in arguing with her. Not that I want to argue. I am just pointing out what is very plain here: sexist remarks written over and over.

Of course girls can't evaluate sexism. They think every negative, generalizing statement about girls is sexist.

You are a good debater. You always present strong arguments that support your viewpoints. You’re good at seeing through BS too.

Sometimes I wonder if they are arguing with/addressing me rather than a male member for the simple fact that I’m a woman, and they don’t want to be bested by a woman in a debate. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have posted in PPR or News at all because it felt like female views and opinions were stifled by certain members that are (mostly) no longer here. It seemed like a boys’ club.

I’ve noticed that some try to use emotion-based arguments with me which they wouldn’t use with men. For example, in the Hamas thread, when I discussed issues I had with the IDF’s behavior, a member referenced my trauma and how that trauma should make me support Israel due to the hostage situation. I was shocked by that level of insensitivity. However, similar behavior has happened on other occasions, not just in this thread.

It’s a sh***y thing to do because it’s triggering, and it’s a lousy argument for various reasons. I’m not sure if the goal is to appeal to my emotions or to silence me. Maybe it’s just ignorance.

Oh damn! Now I have no friends. Sorry Blitz, I neglected to mention that, although technically I have self-diagnosed myself on the spectrum but self-diagnosis doesn't count and I am pretty NT out in the real world (I have told I am a bit of a dick).

Oh for Pete's sake I buried you and Fnord when it came to debating the scientific method.

Ok it seems I am being shoe-horned into this label whether I like it or not. No I am not sexist, No I do not display negative attitudes toward women. I was capable of making friends with women before marriage. I get on famously with women I work with. But..I recognise there are other barriers to friendship. One of those is agism. I'm older now so probably have less in common with younger women (and probably men). The other is I no longer have the time to invest in making new friends.

I walked my dog and had a terrific conversation with two 40 year old married women who (try as I might) would not let me leave. They wanted to be my friend, I didn't want to invest the time and effort but would gladly chat If I run into them again, I have plenty of friendly female acquaintances, I am happy to keep things that way.

Is my experience universal? am I trying to project? no not really. Its my lived experience in a life that's just as complex and nuanced as yours and no less important.

This is a forum, people are welcome to disagree with me but labelling me is unnecessary. I may not be one of the "good men" in your eyes but that doesn't diminish that I have a life and I feel like sharing. I will however (and always) try and minimise triggering. So that's something I will try better to work on more (on that note hope you are doing well Cornflake )

When did I throw my NTness in your face? Also the females I have been chatting about are NTs not ND. Wow! why is everyone so sensitive.

It's okay, haha.

I am over the shock of you not being NT, now.

I forgive you, cyberdad. You can come over to my place and mow my lawn, any time.

I'm not terrible, I'm just not exceptionally good.
There's definitely people who I feel are better, either because they're rhetorically better or because they're more willing to and capable of sourcing things, sometimes both.

I feel like people's sexist assumptions probably lead to people both singling you out and dodging you (and other women), depending on how things are going. They want to beat a girl, not to get beaten by a girl, after all.

I presume the sorts of tactics you describe are ultimately probing for a weakness more than consciously doing that because you're a woman. I assume a lot of the people tend to not consciously consider if the attack might be sexist in nature because they don't want to have to consider the possibility they might be sexist. I find a lot of older (and/or sheltered) progressives have a lot of blind spots on certain issues, sometimes even compared to more politically conservative younger people.

Sexists who are opposed to misogyny tend to be genuine in their opposition to misogyny and just not willing to analyze how their own actions and beliefs might still be sexist. (Replace sexist and misogyny with racist and racism and the same tends to be true as well.)

Because sexism, racism, etc are so stigmatized, people are very afraid to apply those labels to themselves or listen to those labels being applied to themselves. It's hard to voice those criticisms, even mildly, to people who instinctively flinch from the criticisms they require.

In case anyone missed me saying - I was arguing with TP in this thread because she accused me of mansplaining at least four times, and accused me of sexism probably more times than that. Nobody else was provoking me in such a way. If a dude accused me of mansplaning or sexism in any depth, I would debate them also.

But of course, I was just picking on TP because she is a woman.

This thread reminds of me a funny situation when I was a checkout operator many moons ago.

I was on a checkout in a supermarket for the first time and it turned out, that there was a sensor on the conveyor belt that could stop the conveyor belt working, which I didn't know about. There was a receipt from a previous transaction stuck in the side of the conveyor belt, in the metal rim and I saw two black customers coming.....

I internally panicked and then explained to the black couple (a man and a woman) that they would have to push up the food manually as I was in a cabin of sorts with the door locked behind me, which was locked to prevent thieves and had been locked since I went in there a couple of hours previous to these people.

They proceeded to do so. I apologised maybe three or so times about their inconvenience and tried to be nice to them.

After they had collected their shopping off of the end of the till, they went straight to the manager nearby and started screaming "EVERYDAY RACISM". The man explained that he and is wife were just going about their day when a racist checkout operator (me), was invoking times of slavery and making them manually push their food up the conveyor belt when other people who weren't discriminated against had a button pushed for the conveyor belt to automatically carry the food along (I had tried the relevant button and they could see me pushing it to no avail, so they knew I was trying)!

My manager asked me what had happened and I explained about the receipt having affected the sensor (I had figured it out after removing the receipt and finding out the button for making the conveyor belt move, worked again, shortly after the couple left the till area).

They got so irate, demanding that I should be fired, that the manager had to ask them to calm down and leave. Then the black dude started screaming about how black people are discriminated against because they are too often asked to calm down.

And the manager was like "yeah, but you are screaming, nobody else is screaming....".

Last edited by blitzkrieg on 08 Mar 2024, 11:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

You and her both. Only difference is that the criticism sticks better with one. No one's insisting you're part of the he-man women haters, only that you make certain weak assumptions and dig in more than you need to when challenged by actual women.

I'm even open to considering that TP might be overly critical and projecting her experiences and self too much, but if that were the case I'd expect that by now other women would have called her out for it, at least once. So far I haven't seen it. Especially if she was the extreme blowhard a few guys try to make her out to be. It's been years and I haven't once seen anyone but a few guys try to suggest she's trying to speak too broadly in that regard.

Pointing to I have girl friends reminds me too much of another trope used to dodge racism accusations.

I'm not trying to dunk on you, overall I like you but you've got blindspots and room to grow. So do all of us and sometimes it hurts to hear expressed, but it doesn't make the criticism invalid.

You'll be even more shocked I have an electric mower now to improve my green credentials

Wow, haha.

Look at you. You'll be reducing your carbon footprint in no time at all!