Self-defense

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What sorts of things have you done in the interests of self-defense? You can interpret it in any way that you like. This thread is about sharing how you stood up for yourself in any capacity in any circumstance involving some form of bullying.

It's not intended to be a how-to or a place to criticize the way others have defended themselves. It's just about sharing and relating.

In my experience, tit-for-tat is the only thing that works against bullies.

I beat the crap out of my abuser - punching, kicking, biting, the whole works.
It was self-defence to save my life.

Unfortunately that wasn't the end of it.
I was still trapped in the situation for a very long time.
I got more compliant after that.
Unfortunately.

When I was a kid, about 9 or 10 years old, I didn't get on with this other kid. One day he threw me off a piece of playground equipment so I got up and tackled him to the ground. We fought and I won.

Years later, I saw him as a teenager. He was with a friend and the friend pointed at me and said 'Hey, isn't that the girl who beat you in a fight?'

I laughed at the abrupt question. I wasn't expecting that. He nodded and said yes. Then he looked a little awkward and apologised to me for how he used to behave. I also apologised and then we laughed about it.

He was different to how I expected him to be. A lot shorter than me. Shaven head. He seemed a lot happier than he was when he was a bully. Funny how some people change, huh.

As a kid, by being too angry and hostile apparently.
I don't have the eloquence nor stability, but I had enough physicality and enough to know what I do not want from anyone.

As a teenager, making myself a bait but people knew better than not do it.
Whether this means being in a crowd, 'me a vulnerable kid' with mixed crowds; there will be concerned people, and there will be bastards.
I'm more than prepared to ignore the script or kick bastards in the nards.

As an adult? Why, use other people's own assumptions against themselves. Yes, my own social strategies can extend to self defense.

Also getting to know my own reflexes and fear responses -- knowing when to afford certain responses, observing the right time and place...

Poking more holes to the human design flaws...
I might able to expand more if this keeps up for me.


But all in all...
I'm more motivated to preserve my independence and autonomy as much as possible.
So this means I would like for people to trust me to let me be (and pay my own price if something bad happens) than worry.

I developed enough hyperindependence to not want help and being very prepared at the prospect that if I'm alone, and that no one around is going to help me.
This includes helping myself. This includes ways of rescuing myself. This includes healing myself. This includes self defense.

Interdependence and the crowd is just a means to an end to me, but I wouldn't rely too much on it.
I can trust fate itself and the universe to rely on -- but rely on people and expect kindness?
Nuh uh. I only gamble on myself, not on others -- because they tend to disappoint me.

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Trigger warning:
As you age .. sometimes self defense can end up in court . Usually some kind of bully very well will be the cause.
This took years to develop any confidence in Court . And even had one midwest judge . Would not let a woman in his court defend herself or act in their own interest. Without a Lawyer present.
in one issue inspite of appearing in front of him 3 times without a Lawyer. For a ex parte ( low level restraining order)
Which is required here before you can get a restraining order.. Much older Woman had been gaslighting me and police for some time. Many years even.
Posing as a friend in the first years after my husband , met his death . Then working to get close to me.
Since she termed her husband as very neglectful of her. , So thought to take her out to a few meals and a few movies.
She got to where she expected it from me. Regularily regardless of my poor money situation or personal health.
I was a easy target and very depressed. So she started introducing me a few members of her very local more distant family. One out of 15 were not hardened criminals, and that one did not want anything to do with his mother,As a
45 yr old. I did not know this until i began research on my case. He had filed a restraining order against her long ago??? (A son against mother filing) . So as I was taken in by this woman,She convinced me to do a will, with her as the beneficiary ,And then found my vehicle sabotaged to loosen all the lug nuts on a back wheel..after they clean valuable stuff ,i had in the car to hide.Nearly spun out on the freeway at freeway speeds. Due to lug nuts coming off vehicles Loosed lugnuts on rear wheel.So when I pulled back from her, she started getting her younger distantly related kin folk . To harass me living here almost nightly , Most were ex felons , one that came back from prison. started burglurizing my home . And hang around constantly just to look for things to steal from this high maintenence ,yard, Mean they got alot of power yard tools, He became the high priest of the local unemployed,not wanting to be employed group of panhandlers./ meth users.
They would just watch the property and time their crimes here. For when I was not home, day or night.
New in the neighbourhood ," noone" had warned me about her and seemed afraid of her and her distant family.
There was a small group of them. My PTSd was off the charts, So I studied an old fasination , I had with video picture transmission. From childhood.Got me a long play vid recorder. So rewired back up cameras ,and hours running vid wires. Started catching them as they tried to enter the property at night. Police would not even do a trespassing citation on them. This went on for years , With two seperate leaders of this gang of druggers and alkies here. especially on Fri. And Saturday nights. They had no assets to lose . And no drivers licenses, And hung out at the local Freeway offramps very close to this location here for extra money, as the older woman would feed them.And go to food give Aways for homeless families To be able to get herself and them,free food.Inspite of this she was worth thousands of her husbands pension from a big company,and his Social Security.
Driving milies to several places to collect free food .So i guess my home was the easy target, widow living alone. ( never encountered such people before ) . Not expected at all. These people lived in the backyard of the older womans house for years. Where I witnessed one of them murder their son. Police got him. But she kept. encouraging them to loot my house, ID and personal document theft . Caused me to think . only people breaking in were doing this for her . They got the Will I had made with her as beneficiary. So i had to redo that . But she wanted my inherited family home. And said her family needed it more than me . Finally the second wave leader of the neighbourhoiod drunks and claiming homelessness, living in her yard, maybe three houses away from mine..
The ex-con had stolen sweaty clothe i used for yard work from my patio . And not realizing the dog growling and barking from her yard was the ex cons pet dog ,a terrier ,being training to bite and atrack that smell. On my clothes.
So one day came home and got attacked by two dogs in the twilight hours, Watched the dogs after the attack.
Walk back into her backyard . Called animal control. They did nothing ," unless " the bite wound was actually torn open.
Instead of just many teeth marks. ... Finally second attack the DA took her to court, with me. She brought the same Lawyer she had to court , as she had when I could not get a restraining order against her. In Dogcase , she attempted to blur the attack , saying I hated her....When questioned by her lawyer. I just said, i did not have time left in my life for hate ..case closed , dog was removed and could own no Dogs for 2 years. So after a month she had her Distant gang member distant relatives bring dogs to visit her house with them . But no more issues. Till her friend on the otherside
decided to help her out with harassment recently. But at least her and her lawyer did not prevail sgainst me in court.
Not the first time had deal with other peoples lawyers in court on a civil case..