Remnant wrote:
How many of those will you find who do not have the attitude that they are our superiors?
I've taken college-level communication classes, and basically they cannot be NT without some sort of attitude of superiority.
Quite literally, everyone wants to be superior to everyone else. Those who fully indulge in this desire are seen as being aloof. Those who mostly ignore it are the doormats who never say anything interesting or do anything productive out of fear of what their actions may cause when inaction can be equally (if not moreso) damaging. Those who take a middle ground (look down upon others not within their various in-groups) are the normal people.
But those who approach the higher end without going overboard (were it becomes overboard is debatable) are those who are truly successful. The air of superiority that they have translates into other people
wanting their approval, and working hard to get it.
Essentially, that’s why I’ve had a difficult time making friends in the past. I played into the “inferior” role of their superiority game, and I was depressed. Both of those makes it easy for them to be put in the “superior” position, and when you are struggling for mere acceptance, you won’t ever become friends with a person.
Instead, you need to acknowledge that everyone else sees things in terms of hierarchies and try to use it to your advantage. If they have no reason to believe that you are nearing their level of superiority, then you won’t ever be worthy of spending time with. What you need to do is prove to them that you have something to contribute, that they have something to gain by being around you and may improve themselves by it.
That’s why rivalries and two-sided conflict tend to create the strongest of bonds: mutual admiration.
If neither party is interested in the others viewpoints because of completely devaluing it (as what happens to depressed people) or feel that theirs is completely devaluated (like in politics), there probably won’t ever be anything beyond contempt and/or superficial acceptance.
It’s true in the business world, friendships, relationships, and everywhere else. It’s the way the world works, and unless you can convince people that you’re almost at their level, you won’t gain acceptance.
So be aggressive. Keep talking when other people want to speak but you haven’t made your point. Don’t stay quiet in meetings or classrooms when you have something to contribute, even if you may be wrong. Pretend that you feel better about yourself than you really do.
It’s called confidence, and it’s a lie. The successful people are just the ones who know how to lie well.
30 Aug 2007, 8:21 pm
