Is it "my fault" I have few friends?

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I seem to have this idea that when you are young you are ment to have a lot of friends, I remember as a kid I had quite a number of people from my classes who came to a few birthdays though not all close friends. I had friends at school I was close to and still to some degree now, although some still have the mindset of children despite now being adults and are quite non verbal whereas I'm mildly autistic and able to socialise face to face. But that still hasn't kept me maintaining a lot of friendships. I also had people at college and uni interact with, I struggled to know how to interact and never got in touch with them

I do find myself envying those who had friends during school, college and uni days and able to maintain them a long time. Some I've seen where they become bridesmaids or best men at weddings. I used to see photos of them at parties and things and feel like missing out or feeling like freedom and enjoyment when you're young is being "wasted" because I wasn't doing those activities despite never liking the club scene but I like to have a drink on special occasions never get drunk but I like a laugh and jokes with people.

Maestro Chris,

I'm in the same exact situation.
I know it's of no true help, but just know you're not alone having this regret.

kind regards,
Kada

You can't spend all this time obsessing over what other people do and think and expect to be somebody that other people will put in the effort to keep in touch with.

It's hard keeping on touch for anybody that isn't just using the social media of the day. And it's going to be a lot of reaching out to people that don't do so first.

Fault makes it sound like you're doing something wrong.

But, one's own personality and preferences can be the root cause for why one has few friends.