Friend help

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I've been doing alot of research lately and I have had the chance to get to better understand AS. That has helped me dramatically when it comes to interacting in life.

I began studies at a small, all male school in the fall. It was there that I met someone whom I began to become very close to. We were just a step removed from being best friends. It didn't really matter if we were in a group or by ourselves. We always enjoyed each others company. Lately, however, that has changed. I feel as though he thinks that I'm fun on occassion, but not most of the time. This has manifested itself in the fact that he is starting to become extremely closte to my neigbor and will choose hanging out in his room over mine. It has caused me great grief. Suggestions?

Do not cling. Keep your dignity. Let him hang where he wants and stay friendly. And like him, try to socialize with other people or at least be friendly in the classroom. If you don't cling, he will likely come back, just not as often, and that needs to be accepted or else you will totally drive him away.
If you have treats and a new game, you could invite him and his new friend over. Maybe you'll become a trio.
One of my son had two friends that always hung around and blew things up when I wasn't looking. We called them the three musketeers.

Thanks for the tip. I should add though, I do have other friends including the neighbor that has become close to my good friend. I do things with the two of them and other people at the school. However, I enjoy this particular friend's company more than I can describe. So you see, while I may enjoy doing things with others. It really comes nowhere close to the level of enjoyment that I would experience with this friend. Also, while I am clingy on the inside, my behavior in showing my desire to socialize with him is normal and not disordered. Please keep the suggestions coming, but not trite things that everyone already knows.

Surely out of the 105 people that have viewed this post, more than one person can think of something to help.

I edited my post.

Last edited by dedhead66 on 19 Mar 2009, 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well the thing of it is Aspie's perception of a friends and an NT's perception of a friend are usually not the same. One of the books I have about Autism/Asperger's actually has a chapter named 'Not everyone who is nice me is my friend'. Well that sort of crushed me because I know I make that assumption sometimes. I think that we often thing someone is a friend that is really just an aquaintance.


Maybe you need to back off a bit and find a mutual interest, like nonchalantly if he would like to go to a local event that you might have a shared interest in or ask him if he would like to study together at the library. Public places are less threating if he is feeling put off for some reason.

I have learned that NTs like to talk about themselves and like to be asked for advice. Make sure you are not making the convos one side. It csan be unbearable to listen to people endlessley prattle on at time but that from experience is what NTs love to to.