I am over 19 and I am still teased regularly and I hate it

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Ok, I am still teased. I hate it. Tried everything. Ignoring it doesnt work. Tried that for 95% of my life.
Fighting back only sometimes works....

I am fed up trying to change who I am. I have tried and tried. And its just not happening.

Only today some guy was so rude to me and I got so humiliated. He talked down to me and then pretended to ignore me.
I get this feeling of a mild 'burining' in the upper part of my chest when I feel super humiliated. I hate this. The lonelines is badb ut constatly being teased and humiliated by so many people. Its makes me SO mad.

wish i could get even with those bastards......

I think the best way to make it stop is to ignore them. *yes, many people have imparted this advice before and I have thought them to be idiots* but... if you get angry at them and think they are worthless crap and only show them aggression if they mess with you and ignore them all other times .... zone out, don't think about it *try hard* then it should get better

won't stop, but getting better is a start

If that's what you define as teasing, you will get it all your life. I get that all the time, and people don't change so i'll continue to get it.

I wouldn't call it teasing, just peoples rudeness.

Sounds like me when I was 19. Ignoring people WILL NOT work in alot of cases at least in the classic sense of the word. What you have to do is shrink those people down in your mind and think about how worthless they are to act like that. Sometimes it can go to far though and you have to take action.
Someone stuck garbage under the windshield wiper of my car at work and I went hunting for the guy that was responsible. I told him that if he could stick garbage on my car then he could stick it on me. He laughed and said he didn't do it. Then I said " you wouldn't dare because I'd kick you're teeth out , you f***ing piece of chicken s**t!".

Some people are very jeolous because I saved my money up over the years, made some smart calls and got a car that is nicer than what most of the office people have. Some talk behind my back that I sell drugs and stupid things like that. They are SMALL. I shrink them in my mind because they are the ones that blow their money on dope, drinking, messed up with teenage pregnancies and if they were smart they could have played their cards smarter. Instead, they chose to belittle me because they hate themselves.

I was tortured for my entire highschool life and most of my junior highschool life and there was a point where I just said..enough, and took a stand. When I did, I was stabbed in the ear but that didn't stop me. I worked in a place and got screwed over by one guy who was jealous of me. I quit and found another job. That was the REAL day when I took a stand. I don't let ANYONE crap on me now, not supervisors, managers, anyone... unless it's something logical and worth yelling about. So just realize that the people who are picking on you and being arrogant to you are SMALL and pathetic.

You gotta become an expert at teasing yourself. Learn how to push buttons, make them look idiots themselves. Then you just gotta show that you can take care of yourself in a fight, and you're home and hosed.

Not as easy as learning to 'tease back' and to 'fight back'. For one thing, the teasing gets more 'subtle' and less closely resembles outright bullying though the Brinksmanship is still there ( http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=Brinksmanship ). and for another, because of the subtlety, even if you can see the pattern, it is often opaque at first and only comes to light later, when you are thinking about the exchange.

Also, 'learning how to push buttons' is not easy and it is too easy to 'over-step the mark', which again, comes back to the implicit threat of violence that the teasers and tormentors use in order to 'assert' themselves and demonstrate their 'aptitude for social interaction and group activities'.

I am 38 and I still get teased and bullied.

Stop trying to change who you are. Accept who you are. You are wasting energy and increasing stress levels. Trying to change who you are is one way of insuring an early death.

The mild burning may be caused by anxiety, or stress and should be taken as a warning sign that you need to find a way to protect yourself from these people. Why do you subject yourself to that? If someone is even pretending to ignore you after being rude to you, why do you even stay around that person?

I don't even know you, but I know that you are better than those people. Why do you waste your time and energy on them?

I am not trying to make you uncomfortable. I simply want you to think about these things.

P,

I'm not the least bit surprised you are experiencing being a walking target. In my own researches about AS, I noticed one author coining the phrase: Asperger's is made for teasing. I too have been through that mill all my life and that bullsh!t still continues to this day (I'm in my mid-40's) but not as extreme as in bygone times.

These people that are targeting you are doing it because of your vulnerability. We Aspies seem to carry that like a big neon sign It is these people who are themselves so weak of character that they must seek out these "easy" targets to compensate for their own deficiencies. I'm not too clear on the nature of your quandary from the contents of your post but speaking as another Aspie, I know where you're coming from.

I was 38 when I was employed in a nursing home with colleagues who were everything and anything but colleguial with me, and was bullied and wrongfully dismissed. What did I do about that? I wrote an exposé about the experience complete with real names and real places and sent my old colleagues each their personal copy.

My exposé was entitled The Women They Couldn't Hang (...and their voices rang with that Aryan twang)

Its interesting when people say that aspies are made to be teased......

It does seem like the case.....

What suprises me is the fact that there seems to be so little outrage about it. If you get called a name thats racist then thats very bad and we will kick the ass of the purpetrator. If a women hears a misogynistic comment that is demeaning then thats sexual harrasment and we put the purpetrator in jail. But aspies are different. they just need to deal with it.

Talk about double standards.

Sometimes I would like to 'deal' with non aspies who have such an opinion.......punch their lights out.......ok this is just a fantasy, I am not ACTUALLY gonna do that, so no frieking out.....

Anyway I think that most people can't relate to being an aspie. They can relate to being different. They may not be a racial minority but everyone at some point in their life has been in the 'out' group. But being an aspie means that some of the brain wiring went quite wrong. People know what its like to have a broken leg and empathise. That cant however do so for wrong brain wiring. They will never experience wrong brain wiring. Getting subtle queues and just 'knowing' when to say something and when to keep silent is so innate that even 8 year olds can do it. Its independent of IQ. Thus they cant empathise. And without emapthy, sympathy never occurs.

As to how to deal with it. No idea. If I ignore it, it continues. If I fight back they hate me. A while back I gave people some lip who had been causing me aggro for 3 months. They now hate me for. Yuck........

However sometimes I figure out how to get even. I am pretty articulate and sometimes when I am feeling macho enough and not humiliated can muscle up a few well chosen words. Sometimes even this doesnt work, but when it does it gets people off my backs.

All this constant humiliation makes me SO angry. A while back I was away and wasnt teased for 4 weeks. I become so chilled. I saw a different side of myself. But the humiliation makes me want to explode. And aspies anyway obsess. So you take constant humiliation and an apsie who is very sensitive and out pops loads of suppressed anger.

You're right that fighting back causes the perpetrators to hate you. But let me ask you this. Would you rather be liked and bullied or be disliked and respected? I couldn't care less whether folks like me or not but I do not tolerate disrespect and abuse and demand that I be left in peace. I'm in the unique quandry of being both an aspie and African-American so I can potentially get flack from racists or people who just don't understand me. I can't afford letting anyone mistreat me because then, it has the potential of being more pervasive since there's more to "hate" about me.

well, ignoring them does work, at least for me. why try to change yourselves for these people if they obviously don't like you anyway? just forget they even exist. bring out those that do are about you, and do something you enjoy!

I was the ultimate kid to pick on, I might as well had a sign on my neck saying 'kick me REALLY hard!' To give you an idea, I looked like Macaulay Culkin from My Girl. Big glasses, blond hair, celebrity lookalike, and also looked like the Milky Bar Kid.

People had so many angles to bully me from and I dealt with it until about the eleventh grade. Then around that time, I decided ignoring them (the more I ignored them, the harder they tried, and the more rewarded they felt), trying to outwit them (basically talking back in a sophisticated manner), they just didn't work. So, I took a risk and challenged their stereotypes headon.

An example, a guy in a souped up kit car, has his turbo going and all that; he calls your car crappy... I would say that 'I've read numerous studies that show cars with big exhausts and upgrades are often the result of compensating for small equipment. Y'know... boys and toys. My car satisfies my needs and everyone who rides it says it works like a charm.'

Treat them like a satire... attack them but make it funny to others. If you have the surrounding group on your side, the bully is going to be very uncomfortable, because he's no longer in the limelight. My opinion is to give people a taste of their own medicine. With a bit of experience, I've been quick to pick up on the steretypes and finding an angle to hit back.

I honestly don't get teased much because I am well liked by the people that know me.

If a friend (who respects you) teases you, then that's usually just humour, and if you can find it funny and be humorous back then there's no problem.

Bullying is another matter. Remember, time is life. People who waste their time teasing others in a mean way are practising a 'social skill' which may well get them into trouble later in life. Pity them. And avoid them.

I'm afraid I have no other strategies for coping with bullying. I was just lucky enough to go to a high school where some people had similar interests to mine and everyone seemed to be more accepting. In primary school, though, ignoring didn't really work, and fighting back or obsessing over the idea of revenge was even worse. It's just a waste of time.

I guess the main thing is being able to walk away from people who can't respect you. They're not worth your attention. If you can avoid situations where you feel socially trapped, that shouldn't be a problem. Go to a library instead, or spend time with <i>real</i> friends (even online ones!)

I haven't been teased much since I graduated high school. Now, I just get criticized.

Many of the less smart kids in my grade continue to treat me as if I still haven't outgrown most of my immature behaviors. They'll ask me stuff like do you still like this girl and other stuff that I would respond strangely to in years past. With only one day left until I start 9th grade, I'll soon find out if they still haven't grown up themselves.