Help with social adequacy please?

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Does anyone here have any tips on being more social, or at least being able to engage in social activities? It's my first year in college and so far the only thing I've really done (other than classes) is stay in my dorm room all the time. And its getting quite lonely in here. Very rarely do I actually engage in activities beyond my room. And often I have a difficult time connecting with anybody on my dorm room floor.

if it were me in a college dorm situation, I'd go sit in a common area and read or do something the interests me like work on a model. Someone might approach me and start talking about the subject or the hobby.

But, coming from someone with AS, I don't know if my help would be of any use.

also, try to read Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I hear it's a great book if a little dated. There's also writings from Zig Ziglar (sp?).

For step one, you can simply choose a social activity (or group) that might interest you, and commit to doing it. Then when you are actually participating in the activity, you can try to figure out ways to better connect with people if that's what you're hoping for. I hope this doesn't sound oversimplified.

You could knock on somebody's door with some excuse like asking to borrow something, it could break the ice and give you a chance to introduce yourself and talk for a moment or two at least. After that it could build up when you saw the person again in the corridor. Just an idea.

Rory

Why not join clubs or activities? I'm sure that there are plenty of clubs and activities that you could get involved with at your university or college.

This is a big mistake. I know it's kind of painful, but you have to leave your dorm room to meet people. You don't have to approach people if that makes you nervous, just be out there, available.

1) Clubs & Societies on campus

2) Spend more time in the common areas instead of your room

3) Study groups as part of your course



Ed Almos

The "doing something surrounded by people hoping somebody will approach u" thing is completely pointless, frustrating, and will get u nowhere. Just appearing where other people go will give u occasional social interaction, but not nearly enough.

What u need to do is become functional outside your dorm room first. Find an activity to do that u enjoy, and become an integral part of it rather than just a bystander. It took me a while to realize this, but taking an active role is the only way to go if u wanna keep from regressing back into chronic solitude.

It's been said already, but it bears repeating - find a group/club/whatever, and join in. Take up Yoga, join a chess club, learn to kick 8 foot tall people in the face or wrestle alligators. It doesnt really matter what it is, so long as it involves other people and you enjoy it.