I feel so rude forgetting people's names when they know mine

Page 1 of 3 [ 34 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

rhubarbpluscustard
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 15 Aug 2005
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 425

08 Nov 2007, 10:21 pm

...and sometimes I even forget faces when I see them out of context! I'm guessing a lot of you guys have this problem too. Sometimes I'm shocked that people remember my name after one meeting and have to hide that I don't remember theirs.



arem
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 31 Jul 2007
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 155

08 Nov 2007, 10:29 pm

I forget names all the time. When I remember to, I try to think of their name alot when I'm looking at them, at least for a few seconds. That, and/or say "Hi, {name}" when the person is introduced (rather than just "Hi"). That seems to help.

I'm incredibly crap at recognising voices on the phone, too - my wife will sometimes say "Who was that on the phone?", to which I have to respond "Uhh.. I think.. I'm not sure... I think it was {name}.".


_________________
I'm... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


sodarktheshadows
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 422
Location: Toronto, Canada

08 Nov 2007, 11:04 pm

i have the same problem with people...i'll remember the face, sometimes even from where i know them (like from work, friend of someone, etc) but cannot remember a name to save my life! i had a girl that i knew i had worked with somewhere come up to me at my last job and start talking to me...i knew i knew her, and i remembered we got along great, and she had been the only person i had really talked to at that job....but could i remember her name? nope! and i felt so bad...and she asked me for my number so she could call me and we'd get together...well, she did call, but i never called back because i was so embarassed... :oops:
so yeah, kinda makes things a little awkward...
(and i've tried the saying the name over and over again...didn't work for me, unfortunately...)


_________________
friends are like balloons...once you let them go, you can't get them back.
~~~~~
To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.


Litguy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Aug 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 670
Location: New Jersey

08 Nov 2007, 11:46 pm

Same here. As a teacher, I remember who students are largely by where they sit. Very often, even by the end of a semester, when they come into my office, I have to ask them their names. I'm certain that some of them take it personally, and I feel badly. It certainly is not for lack of caring.

It's been going on for years now, but I still feel badly about it.



OddballBen
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 5 Jun 2007
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 190
Location: CA

09 Nov 2007, 12:12 am

I think that the best way to remember a name is when you first meet someone, introduce yourself, (they’ll often follow suit) and ask them a bit about themselves while constantly repeating their name in your head. That way you can match their name, face, and background together. Also, as soon as you can, write that information down on a piece of paper. Even if you never read it again, writing it will help you remember.

It’s a lot of effort, but it’s worth it, considering the alternative :oops:



krex
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2006
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,106
Location: Village of the Damned

09 Nov 2007, 12:14 am

It's weird but I can remember the dogs names better then my co-workers names.It is embarassing,especially when you are trying to tell a co-worker..."ah...whats her name...you know the girl with the long brown hair...it's kind of straight and she is thin(worse to describe if she is a bit plump).....especially as I have worked with these people for 9 months...ooops.

The weird thing is,like many things I forget,as soon as I am not stressed to remeber the name,it will pop into my head...The info is in there,just stuck.


_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesn't mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang

Visit my wool sculpture blog
http://eyesoftime.blogspot.com/


sodarktheshadows
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 5 Nov 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 422
Location: Toronto, Canada

09 Nov 2007, 1:03 am

krex wrote:
It's weird but I can remember the dogs names better then my co-workers names.

maybe because dogs are friendly and never judge you for who you are or what you can/cannot do, and just like you for you, unconditionally? (and probably wouldn't get offended if you DID forget their name...)


_________________
friends are like balloons...once you let them go, you can't get them back.
~~~~~
To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.


Kurt
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 42

09 Nov 2007, 6:33 am

I'm terrible with names, but don't really care. It's rare for me to come across the same person repeatedly where the context would require me to know their name.



wsmac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,904
Location: Humboldt County, Little Blue House on the Hill

09 Nov 2007, 5:06 pm

Litguy wrote:
Same here. As a teacher, I remember who students are largely by where they sit. Very often, even by the end of a semester, when they come into my office, I have to ask them their names.


When I taught Perceptual Motor at my daughter's grade school, it took me forever to learn even half the names of the kids I saw often.

When I lived in Fairbanks, Alaska, I helped to teach downhill skiing to young kids (mostly, but sometimes teens and adults too).
Since we spent so much time out on Birch Hill (on Ft. Wainwright) and the temps were cold, the kids generally had their faces covered up.

I only knew them by their clothing. When we'd take a break inside the lodge, I never knew who was who without all their stuff on! :P

I have the same issues about names and faces. Since I'm not diagnosed with AS, but with ADD/HD, I'm not sure that it's just an AS thing, although I do understand that Aspy's have specific issues about face recognition.

I have worked with Nurses and other personnel at my hospital for 5 yrs now and I still cannot remember some of those people by name or face. This is despite working closely with them this whole time.
I still have, hmmm, I think one person in the lab I work in who I keep forgetting their name, even though they've worked there for a few years.

I'm still not sure how to correct this.
I'll walk away after being introduced to someone and I can even be repeating the name, but I'll forget it in short order.
I've resorted to writing down names when I remember to, but it didn't seem to work consistently for me and I don't do it anymore.
I try to check out nametags but that MOSTLY doesn't work because I have to look at someone's chest!

I always have people around work or in the same town who wave at me, smile, call out my name, and seem real chummy to me.
Sometimes there is that tiny bit, or even a full feeling that I do know them... but I can't remember from where or why.
There have been times these people have turned out to be from my daughter's school or from work.

I've learned to just talk to people without having to let on that I do not know them.
I seem like a real friendly guy, which I am of sorts, but sometimes it's just what I do so I don't have to reveal that I have no idea who I am talking to.

I hate when I know the person has a kid or kids, but I cannot remember how many or what their names are. They will ask about my daughter, even call her by name, but I cannot return the favor.
I just say, "So, how's your family?".

I find it best to keep them talking, or find a segue into a different subject that I can talk about.


_________________
fides solus
===============
LIBRARIES... Hardware stores for the mind


Last edited by wsmac on 09 Nov 2007, 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sally
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

09 Nov 2007, 5:13 pm

i can remember names usually but not faces. this means i can be in a group of people, know all the names but not which person has which name if this makes any sense at all. i used to remember people by the clothes they wore but this doest work too well as they dont always wear the same clothes & some people have the same clothes as others!


_________________
Never waste time in a hug


Sally
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 183

09 Nov 2007, 5:13 pm

i can remember names usually but not faces. this means i can be in a group of people, know all the names but not which person has which name if this makes any sense at all. i used to remember people by the clothes they wore but this doest work too well as they dont always wear the same clothes & some people have the same clothes as others!


_________________
Never waste time in a hug


wsmac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,904
Location: Humboldt County, Little Blue House on the Hill

09 Nov 2007, 5:20 pm

Sally wrote:
i can remember names usually but not faces. this means i can be in a group of people, know all the names but not which person has which name if this makes any sense at all. i used to remember people by the clothes they wore but this doest work too well as they dont always wear the same clothes & some people have the same clothes as others!



Sally wrote:
i can remember names usually but not faces. this means i can be in a group of people, know all the names but not which person has which name if this makes any sense at all. i used to remember people by the clothes they wore but this doest work too well as they dont always wear the same clothes & some people have the same clothes as others!


You repeat yourself too! :wink: :P

I have read somewhere about AS and someone who used to recognize his boss by the shoes he wore. He couldn't remember the guy's face.


_________________
fides solus
===============
LIBRARIES... Hardware stores for the mind


Macallan
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Oct 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 371

09 Nov 2007, 7:02 pm

I forget people's names pretty quickly and have yet to find a method to help me remember them.

Even worse, when meeting someone I should remember, sometimes my brain drags up someone else's name and I start talking to them as if they are that person :oops:

However, I can remember horses' and dogs' names quite easily, even when faced with two or more who look very similar.



wsmac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Aug 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,904
Location: Humboldt County, Little Blue House on the Hill

10 Nov 2007, 5:10 am

Macallan wrote:
I forget people's names pretty quickly and have yet to find a method to help me remember them.

Even worse, when meeting someone I should remember, sometimes my brain drags up someone else's name and I start talking to them as if they are that person :oops:

However, I can remember horses' and dogs' names quite easily, even when faced with two or more who look very similar.



Don't know why, but this popped into my head... :P

Hayseed: "Yes Ma'am, these here's mah huntin' dawgs."

Macallan: "Are they from the same litter? They look exactly alike!"

Hayseed: "Yes'm, they is. Fang is sweet on folks, jus' luvin' them ta death, alright!". "Jackass is the on'ry one though, Mean'er than a hornet's nest after ya clubbed it with a shovel!"

Macallan: "How do you tell them apart?"

Hayseed: "I don't rightly remember. But if yew'll reach down there and give each'un a pet, they'll let ya know fer sure!"


_________________
fides solus
===============
LIBRARIES... Hardware stores for the mind


howzat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Aug 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,892
Location: Hornsey North London

10 Nov 2007, 7:27 am

Im da same remember ppls faces but rubbish wid names even though i know dem quite well.