i'm not invited

Post Reply New Topic

so one my friends just went out of his way to not invite me to his birthday party cause his roommate and his friends don't want me there. apparently at the last party they held i got a little too drunk, i didn't act like a jerk but i did act "foolish", wouldn't stop when i was asked to, and now i've just pretty much annoyed everybody.

...thing is he led me on to think everything had gone well at this party, and now he drops this on me. i already feel bad enough because my HFA makes it hard for me to be around people, but my dad's a bad drunk and if i ever act as stupid as he does while on liquor i want to be told so. so now i'm feeling bad because i'm genetically pre-disposed to be not only socially inept but also an alcoholic, and there's nothing i can do.

any advice?

Tell your "friend" I hate him.

Naw, just kidding.

Ouch. That's ruff. My former roommates and their friends used to get really drunk and do outrageous things. This one guy even got enthusiastic and put his elbow thru the wall one time. You don't even want to know what else they did (maybe you do, but I still won't tell, for their sake.) But they would always be invited back the next weekend. Different people have different standards for what they consider acceptable behavior. (But one thing that really PISSED ME OFF is that at my old place, the guy who stole my laptop is still welcome there, just because we could never QUITE prove it was him. All the evidence points to him. He even avoids me if he knows I'll be there. Some people have no standards for who they let in their company/presence.)

I actually get along better with people in situations where we are both drunk. If I make a mistake, I don't have to say "I have Asperger's", I can say, "I'm drunk". (I rarely tell people I have AS anyway.) Also, drunken people have low standards. They heap loads of praise upon my ability as a sketcher, and as a dancer. Anything that's moderately impressive in front of a sober crowd becomes a sensation in front of a drunken crowd, so I use that to my advantage all the time.
Noone in my family is an alcoholic, and neither am I, so I've never had to cope with that.

As for your "friends": I don't know what to say. I've never been turned down quite that bluntly. (People tip-toe around my feelings because I'm small, which is fine by me because I don't bother to tip-toe around theirs.)

Now that you know you got out of control when you got too drunk, maybe you'd have an easier time watching how much you drink at a party. Trust me, I know about getting too drunk and acting foolish. I have a huge bruise on my leg from about a week ago when I was drunk and fell onto something...I actually got quite a few bruises that night.

Maybe you could ask your friend to watch how much you're drinking and remind you to take it slow. I know that a good buzz can be a good thing to help out socially at a party, but you just have to watch going overboard. As long as you don't pull down your pants and shove a lighter in your butt, you're doing a lot better than one of my husband's old friends.

Stop drinking. That's my advice to you. I will send you a more detailed reply via private mail.

Well, I gotta say I spend many years going to parties, sometimes different people other times the same people, small, big, you name it. Many times I got drunk, sometimes I went too overboard and regretted it the next day, quite a few times actually. I think having AS or HFA creates the tendancy to go overboard because we want to fit in with whats going on, we finally feel social as we are getting buzzed and like to increase that feeling. It can be a bad road to go down after a certain point.

Now I still drink socially, but cut back alot (and it took me years to learn better, after man screw ups unfortunatly). Some groups excluded me, others continued to invite me, it depends on many things, particularly your standing with everybody I guess.

Now I have a few, and then im good, I have more fun, have more control and fell fine the next day, I can be relativly sober for whatever I need to do and most important, no regrets!!