Rejected by Other Nerds!

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I am taking an AP English class and nobody likes me. The other people refuse to speak to me or tease me because I can't take AP chemistry or do academic competition or be a merit scholar like they can. For years before my diagnosis, it was the accepted theory was that I was an unusual gifted child, but now I am finally with other gifted people and they are remarkably petty and cruel.

I am upset. I feel like I have no community. I am, as you can see, wallowing in self-pity. Nerds are supposed to be accepting!

I completely understand how you feel. I work with a bunch of computer geeks who all play WOW and I feel like a pariah amidst them. Unforntunately, it doesn't get easier with age.

The group you describe sound petty,cruel and very insecure. I've come across people like that before- usually they only brag if they feel they have something to prove. You're gifted: you don't need schols and certificates to show it, whereas they feel they do.

There is a chance that some people may see you as 'aloof' or 'arrogant' (I'm not saying you are, jus that it's a common mistake) so try smiling at them and maybe ask their advice on a question or two (even if you already know the answer- just don't correct them if they get it wrong!). Once they feel you're no longer a threat and that you like them, they might be more friendly...

I've noticed that nerds, when segregated into their own environment, tend to develop a number of 'alpha' tendencies with each other. Trying to outgeek the pack, as it were. This may be a manifestation of that.

I eventually found a community, of sorts, and strangely, it doesn't involve very many nerds at all. So I wouldn't take this as an indication that there isn't a community for you at all. I've often found that I can be more uncomfortable around nerds. The times that I've tried to hang out with people or make friends in gaming shops (an interest of mine) have fallen completely flat.

I have a problem like this, i cannot seem to fit into any clique. Im too weird for the popular kids and im too cool for the dorks. So i just kinda decided I didnt need any friends.

where did you hear THAT? Who told you misfits were accepting? Are we suppose to have great souls and ready for sainthood because we survived bullying? Most of us are so scarred and battered we find it even harder to trust than ever.

Merle

Cruel nerds! My high school experience was tainted with them.

It was a civil school; no physical bullying, just verbal abuse. The nerds ruled, and picked on those not as smart as them, while the traditional bullies didn't do anything.

But hey, if they give you an inferiority complex, at least you can try hard to prove yourself, thereby getting smarter. A dubiously bright side, I know...

On CNN headlines with Robin Meade this morning, the word of the day is...wait for..it."NERDS!" They show snippets of the movie, "Nerds" with the jocks angrily shouting.NERDS! NERDS! NERDS!, and Robin is getting the biggest kick out this...she is one big diva...

Some people, unfortunately, just can't make it through their week, or their day, without trying to compare their "worth" to someone else's, so that they can give themselves another pat on the back. That people won't speak to you for it, that's quite sad.
Any social group can wind up forming a hierarchy, or a pecking order, whatever you want to call it. Groups can also try to give the impression of exclusivity. If not just anyone can join, then they must be pretty cool. I think that's how the reasoning is supposed to go, roughly. You're better off not settling for that kind of person, or group.


That definitely happens, in a lot of different ways. Instead of a sports record, it is a high test / standardized test score. Instead of a convertible, it is an overclocked-to-all-hell computer. Linux for bonus points. (those luzers need macs cuz they r better! )

Never was a fan of the whole proving dominance rubbish.

I would ignore them. It's their loss. Many of these "gifted" and "nerdy" types are bitter that they aren't popular or good at sports. They probably are resentful of you or have their own issues that they are projecting outward.

I used to have problems fitting into any group, especially groups that I should fit in. Like the CS nerds at school. I can hang around with them, but even though they are nerds there is just as much a social system going on as anything else. In fact hardcore 'gamer' nerds can be quite antagonistic...

I kind of exist in all groups, but I don't fit in with any. I've slowly felt out the role I best fill in social circles. Mostly because I'm friendly, but I don't care what anyone else thinks or authoritative structures... and if I make the people in the group laugh... well they just accept me. Everyone likes an easy going funny man in their mix...

I always avoid nerds as dey give me funny looks so therefore i fit better wid popular 1s even though i don't really hang around wid dem as im used 2 it by being a loner.

I'd give 'em the mighty punt of righeousness.
I hate people who are so full of themselves, Nerds like that are no better than the mindless idiotic jerks who tease them!

Forget about those idiots, you will one day surpass them and they wil regret their cruelty.

Why not just call them out on it?

A spade is a spade.

yeah, I know what you mean. in my opinion, there is a difference between overachievers and nerds. Overachievers care a lot about grades and standardized test scores, but if it weren't for those glamorous awards, they wouldn't pick up a book in their life. nerds are intellectuals without regards to societal signs of intelligence like grades. of course, there are people who are a little bit of both. nerds just tend to have more "intellectual" interests than most people--it does not necessarily make them better human beings. anyway, as far as your situation goes, the best thing to do is to ignore them. when I dealt with arrogant people like what you're describing, I didn't hide the fact that I thought they were full of sh*t. they never even attempted to bully me because it was so clear that I didn't give a damn what they thought of me. as soon as you stop giving a damn, they become powerless. as far as finding friends, you should focus on becoming friends with a specific person as opposed to fitting into a community. community is an illusion anyway--it is impossible to be liked by ALL the people of a particular group.

Precisely.

Nerds are for the most part, to engage in a couple of generalizations, elitists. They tend to think themselves holier than thou - that type of stuff.

Isn't it funny. Probably not too ling ago we talked about picking on the nerds - and now we talk about being picked on by them. The world certainly changes - the wind changes its course - and we have to make ourselves aware that the social continuum is dynamic and your neighborhood nerd isn't necessarily going to be a carbon clone of the one in one of those '80s films like, say, The Breakfast Club.

And who's to say that nerds are outcasts or misfits? It's precisely the opposite. What was once the misfit eventually has to be accepted into mainstream at minimum, if not even embraced. DO we know that these "nerds" in this AP English class are misfits? Are they seen in the halls talking to relatively-normal looking girls (or guys, in the case of the female nerd)? Probably. I am very certain that, regardless of school, there's an integration between these former outcasts and society in its most mainstream form.

-aaron