Roommate issues

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I'm not sure if this is the right place to put this, but it has to do with the social skills of the people in my apartment.

Both me and one of my roommates do not have a diagnosis, but are almost certainly aspies (I was actually told not to persue a diagnosis because it was not worth having, he didn't have people recognize syptoms until he was at college). The other two in the apartment are NTs, though my one of them (my boyfriend) has more aspie traits than most NTs.

Last november my boyfriend and this roommate started fighting over the heat the apartment was kept at - my boyfriend wanted to lower the temperature for his comfort and for the cost. My roommate wanted to turn the heat up and wasn't seeing an issue with the cost. We communicated wrong and it snapped. at one point my roommate snapped at me in public, making me cry, and making me feel incredibly attacked. My boyfriend likely overreacted at this point and became passive aggressive.

At this point I'm uncomfortable being around him because I feel like he's treating me like he hates me. I know he doesn't, but that he's being angry, but I can't help but feel incredibly uncomfortable and unable to talk to him or even do the dishes. I feel horrible because I know that it started by differences in preferences in communication leading to major miscommunication and I'm effectively treating him like he hates me when I know he doesn't. A muteral friend mentioned in an email to my boyfriend that our roommate doesn't hate me at all, he's just confused about my boyfriend and how to classify him, and is socially inept. I feel worse because I know its partially my social ineptitude which escalated even if I backed off.

We've established he's moving out in June, but we have until then living together. I want to be comfortable using the apartment again and would like to eventually be comfortable talking to him again. But I don't know what to do because if I try to talk to him we have major miscommunications by misreading emotions. I understand his social difficulties better than most of our friends, and yet I can't do anything here.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I want to have the area livable and am not sure what to do. I want to keep him from being hurt more. My boyfriend is right in that its hitting me in places I was hurt when younger and that's why it is so hard for me to try to put things into this. I don't know how to deal with being around the seeming hatred but I want to help him. I have had more training than he has to deal with social situations and I don't know if that's making this weirder.

Anyways, again, suggestions? Any suggestions would be incredibly helpful as to how to help myself, help him, and generally help the ability to live together until the lease runs out.

Thanks

Assuming you really don't hate each other, get a notebook. This used to be the only way I could really communicate about anything that bothered me. Sure it's kind of juvenile, like passing notes in class, but if if works, who cares?

So sit down in the same room. Write a brief (whatever) and pass it. Back and forth. This lets you say anything you need to without having to actually speak, you can take as much time as you need, and you can't be interupted.

Always worked wonders for me.

But some things ain't solved with a pen for there's always pent-up anger!