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Endersdragon
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06 Sep 2005, 5:37 pm

Okay I have offically decided I definetly want a GF by the end of this year (being 19 and never having one before) but while I see alot of cute girls (most of whom I think wouldnt be on the top of anybodies list, and generally I also probably even moreso go by niceness) inside and outside of my classes I have never figured out a good way of introducing myself to them (not that I have any problems introducing myself to boys thats quite easy for me.) Whenever I start to talk to them I get nervous and stuff and mind goes blank, not to mention girls that arent in any of my classes I can never figure out a convient way to talk to them (and Im a polisci major which at least at my school means mostly male classes (theres only one girl in the class that I like both personality wise and cuteness wise so far), and my nonmale-dominant class is filled with girls that I dont think I would get along with at all, nor are they the type that I would want to go out with (mainly people that seem to act and personafy "blondeness"). Once I get past this problem I think I can handle getting a gf (Ive asked twice before but both times was turned down (the first time that was no big suprise as the girl was quite popular, but the second time was a bit of a letdown.) Well any advice would be good.


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Namiko
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07 Sep 2005, 8:21 am

I would start with someone who has common interests. That way, you would at least have something to talk about. Also, I think girls want to be treated as friends, not objects, just to let you know. ;) Other than that, I don't have any good advice, except to perhaps check out the "Romantic Relationships" forum.


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Endersdragon
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07 Sep 2005, 1:03 pm

Geese I just meant that its hard to get a girlfriend if I cant even talk to girls, and how do I know if a girl has a common interest with me??? But anyway in another question how young is too young for a 19 year old (because I know a girl whos moving back to town that I always cold talk to easily but shes just 16 :-/.)


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Thagomizer
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07 Sep 2005, 3:35 pm

A common interest is good advice. But here's a little secret I didn't learn until a few months ago: The key to getting into a relationship with a girl is NOT trying to get into a relationship. Sounds paradoxical, but there you go. This doesn't mean you have to act indifferent, but just don't be too deliberate, and enjoy the time you spend with her. If you enjoy yourself, she'll likely enjoy the time she's spending with you.


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rpm2004
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07 Sep 2005, 11:36 pm

I thought about asking out a girl at a picnic once.I was about to when my mom came over and said oh you met sarah your cousin,right?


then I remembered it was a family reunion


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Serissa
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08 Sep 2005, 7:23 am

To one-up Thagmoizer, try grils who have just ended a relationship and are on the rebound, if you're not above it. ((That was, by the way, a joke. It might wokr but nevertheless it was a joke.))

Do you have trouble talking to females in general, or only ones you're interested in?



Namiko
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08 Sep 2005, 8:03 am

Endersdragon wrote:
Geese I just meant that its hard to get a girlfriend if I cant even talk to girls, and how do I know if a girl has a common interest with me??? But anyway in another question how young is too young for a 19 year old (because I know a girl whos moving back to town that I always cold talk to easily but shes just 16 :-/.)


Sorry if I misunderstood you then. :( I would just start talking to her, a little bit at a time and doing little activities together, preferably in a group of people so the fact you like her (which I'm assuming that you do) is not as obvious at first.


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TheBladeRoden
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08 Sep 2005, 3:56 pm

Endersdragon wrote:
Geese I just meant that its hard to get a girlfriend if I cant even talk to girls, and how do I know if a girl has a common interest with me??? But anyway in another question how young is too young for a 19 year old (because I know a girl whos moving back to town that I always cold talk to easily but shes just 16 :-/.)


19/2 + 7= 16.5

So you just need to figure out if she's more than halfway to her birthday



Serissa
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08 Sep 2005, 6:27 pm

TheBladeRoden wrote:
Endersdragon wrote:
Geese I just meant that its hard to get a girlfriend if I cant even talk to girls, and how do I know if a girl has a common interest with me??? But anyway in another question how young is too young for a 19 year old (because I know a girl whos moving back to town that I always cold talk to easily but shes just 16 :-/.)


19/2 + 7= 16.5

So you just need to figure out if she's more than halfway to her birthday


Where did you get this formula? It's geniunely awesome!



hell_grey
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08 Sep 2005, 7:25 pm

lol i was going to post that same formula and i can't remember what its from either! Mean girls? Degrassi?



Endersdragon
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08 Sep 2005, 9:45 pm

Her bdays right next to mine which is in March :(.


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Krish
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11 Sep 2005, 3:21 pm

Like someone else said before me, don't try too hard to get into a relationship. Just try talking to her naturally and getting to know her. Usually things just sort of . . . happen.



PhoenixKitten
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12 Sep 2005, 5:31 am

It's easy Enders: just go up to her and say to her 'there must be a mirror in your pants cos' I can see myself in them'! If it doesn't work with her, go up to another girl and repeat said phrase!

What's that? It didn't work? Oh, sorry, I thought you wanted a slap in the face, not a girlfriend!


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Astarael
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12 Sep 2005, 8:43 am

:lol: ahhh pick up lines can be so entertaining on occasions. I think you should go with what most people have been saying and just talk to them and get a friendship happenning and then once they know you they might go wow he's really cool and you have a relationship, and if not you've still got a group of friends who might know someone just right for you.. and if not you've still got the friends. :)



Papillon
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03 Oct 2005, 10:11 pm

Pick-up lines don't work with me, period. They make me too many enemies :?

I prefer a long, slow build-up of trust and friendship. Namiko offers an excellent Aspie strategy in saying girls want to be treated as friends, not objects. Thagomizer also mentions a strategy I apply in finding dates with a common interest. Like Krish says, usually things just sort of ... happen. Either way I do see some pretty good tips on this thread.


Endersdragon,

The best I can tell you is to focus on those you find easiest to converse with. If you're too tongue-tied with her (as I have been with many I would have liked to get to know) then you and her aren't on the same wavelength and not for each other. OTOH, if you and her get yammering away effortlessly then there could be something there worthwhile for both of you to find out more.

Aspies don't usually have the gift of the gab. Do you get verbal dysentary talking with her? She could be just be what the doctor ordered :wink:


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