Misunderstood: AS or not

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Im assuming this topic has been brought up before. Im kinda new to the whole AS thing, I didnt find out I had AS till a little while ago. Is it common for you guys to be misunderstood constantly by NTs like even if they try to understand you with an open mind. It seems to me when NTs give me advice then watch me for a little while, they simply think Im being stubborn minded and not trying. I wonder myself about this. They always say "I know its hard but...." Its really hard for people to understand the difficulties I have. That can screw things up often. Im wondering, is it justified for us to constantly go around blaming the Aspergers or it isnt the AS, in reality its our faults.

Constantly.

As for advice, a lot of what I've gotten has been like saying to the drowning man, "Rise, and walk, and surely you will be saved." Yes, of course, I caught that... having a little difficulty with implementation, though.

I am also new to AS. During the years I have managed to alienate many people around me and was totally oblivious as to why that happend. People seem to always misunderstand my intentions and sense of humor. A few friends seem to stick with me and overlook my social awkwardness, maybe getting my humor.

However I think that some of them has clear Aspie traits too but are better able at hidding/acting differently. Now I find myself in the situation that I am not taken seriously by these people. Everything I say / idea I have is just tolerated because they know I am "weird". They are totally oblivious to their own blunders, as long as I can get the label of idiot. It's like they react to everything I say or do with a codescending laugh.

Is anyone else experiencing this?

I also wonder how much of our AS pattern is learned social behaviour as a way of survival. Since I've become aware of AS, I have also been wondering about my parents. They are good people but completely misguided most of the time. I had a very hard time growing up under them.

Some people in my family are like this towards me. My brother won't even acknowledge that I have AS. He thinks it is all in my mind, and that I am weak, and I wouldn't have any of these problems if I were more of a positive/assertive/go-getter.

Do you guys know how completely gutted this can make me feel? It is like he is saying that "No, sis. My reality and how I experience it is the right way/the only way, and you are just f@#!ed up." It is like he cannot comprehend that there are other ways of experiencing.

Sometimes I also feel so upset when I have overhead pyschology etc., students discussing various mental problems, and it is so obvious they have never experienced any of these problems. And yet, years down the track, these people with no true insight, are the ones prescribing their ideas or medication on to people who need, more than anything, some tolerance, some compassion, and a helping hand.

I feel like that dude in Brave New World.

Ah, yes. The weak-willed argument. You could be NORMAL, if you just weren't so lazy/perverse/attention-seeking/blah,blah,blah. Yes, dear old Dad is my nemesis and it does make you feel less valuable than gum on the bottom of his shoe.It takes years and practice to defend yourself from the constant barrage of contempt and disappointment.However, if AS is, as postulated by some, genetic, then I undoubtedly received the twisty DNA from him.Yo, Dad---the fruit of your loins is happily fermented: DEAL! Good luck! You are fine; they are nuts...

People are oftentimes clueless about there own "faults". That's why I hesitate to tell people about AS. They use you as a scapegoat and make you feel worse, like this is typical behaviour coming from you. Then they'll be suspicious of anything you do and not take you seriously.The most irritating thing is when you know they are whatching you for cluess on "how not to be".

I'll stuff it up for you....

I can identify with exactly what you're going through Princesseli. To be honest, I do find myself "blaming" the Asperger's a lot... however the thing to remember is that Asperger's is just another way of doing things, and the way we learn to deal with living in our skin and with our brain is what other people see... And it's very easy for NT's to categorize and classify us and call us names, and assert that our behavior is something that they understand, when that's entirely impossible......

One of the biggest problems i'm trying to get through is with my family... My dad thinks I'm lazy, aloof, undetermined, fickle, and that there's just something wrong with my personality that needs to be fixed... My mother, to whom I've talked to about my AS, thinks that people with AS are impossible to communicate with and have problems with motor functions and whatnot, basically like a very strong low functioning autist, so she thinks basically like my dad but for different reasons. My sister, who is working on a psychology degree simply says that it's easy to identify with pretty much every psychological disorder out there with symptoms on a piece of paper... They don't understand, and they are the only people in my life right now that I can actually turn to for help... And since they think I'm entirely NT, they scold me, make fun of me, and more... Which only makes my desire for solitude and escaping reality worse...

Bah, thanks for reading, any input\help would be much appreciated. Good luck to all of you Aspies with similar social troubles with no solution yet, I hope you'll find your way soon.