I feel socially broken

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I have forgotten how to feel enthusiasm about other human beings. I'm not sure if I ever felt that enthusiasm about others that I see people have. Even among the countless other autistic people I have known, I am one of the least social. This is ironic, because I am relatively high-functioning when I have to be, and this extends to socializing. I know how to be polite and affable and tactful (most of the time...).

The issue is that I loathe interacting with others. I can enjoy it, sometimes, but it feels like walking on ice at all times.
I have never trusted another human being (except ethically-bound professionals). I don't know how anyone expects me to trust anyone else. Society, my peers, and my family have all conditioned me to expect rejection for who I am. I am autistic and queer and trans and politically radical. I have opinions that are unpopular with the vast majority of the other human beings I meet. Some people can trust more easily, simply because they are surrounded by people with whom they can be honest.
I have never identified with another human being. Out of all the shades of weirdo I've met, I've never, ever met someone who seemed like they would "get" me. I have never met another person who seemed to share my values or worldviews. I've never met someone I felt like I could talk to without being judged or attacked or dismissed.

The usual advice, when I describe such issues, is to just not fixate on having deeper relationships. I've tried to follow that advice for many years. But now that I'm at the point in my social relationships where I almost want to get closer, but I just don't trust anyone--anyone! I don't expect anyone to listen to me when I disagree with them, so I almost never openly disagree with anyone around me. Hell, why should I? I never see it work out well for anyone else! Why should I try that sh!t?
At the same time, I don't want to just retreat into myself. I don't want to die alone... But I can't trust. I don't remember how. I don't remember how to just casually, openly disagree with friends and family like most people do.

It sounds like you need to build your self confidence. My therapist suggested i become good at something, like a hobby. I hope things work out.

Gosh, I hope things start to work out for you...Personally have had similiar social issues for a long time .
And Trust seems far and few these days, at least for me.