How long dod it take you to feel comfortable around people?

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princess_1989
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23 Feb 2008, 3:38 pm

i've always been afraid of people, because i was always taunted and made fun of- throughout life. I hate public speaking and talking to people face up because i am used to people making rude comments to me. i had a few friends as a child, then i moved and got separated from them. in my new town, i had to adjust too making new friends, which took me long time. i was being made fun of by the way i dress, my accent, and the way i carry myself. after all 5 years, i finally found friends who were willing to listen to me. my friend saw i was in distress and helped me find a solution. However,until i found my three best friends, i hung out with an abusive user just to feel like i belonged. it took me getting a new friend who cared for me to see that i was in an abusive relationship. this user told me things like "your useless, you'll never get a date" and she was always talking and looking for a flaw in me. My new friends and go to the movies, museums, and the mall. Most kids my age aren't into museums, and certain movies. I was mature for my age, which made it harder for me to find friends who enjoy the same things as i do.



0_equals_true
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23 Feb 2008, 4:01 pm

That is great that you have these friends who like you for who you are, and share your interests.

I had similar circumstances to you, and got my two close friends in recent years.

The truth is I don't feel fully comfortable around people in general. I'm much, much better with the social anxiety. I keep it under control. But I do tend to interact with most people on a superficial/orchestrated basis and avoid interactions that are two complicated, until I feel absolutely certain I want to let the person close. Occasionally I feel I can relate to a person better, usually because they are also leftfield.

I was also ostracized and teased growing up. There were periods were people tried to be friendly to me. But in hindsight I was always distant, putting on a front. Not really reciprocating or knowing how.

As for the user, she is a sad, sad person.



pakled
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23 Feb 2008, 5:51 pm

feel comfortable? not even there yet...;) however, I can fake it when I need to...



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23 Feb 2008, 6:03 pm

I'm afraid of strangers.


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Tim_Tex
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01 Mar 2008, 9:19 am

For me, it depends on the person.


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Syd
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01 Mar 2008, 11:59 pm

I'm not clairvoyant enough to know when I'll die. :wink:



Arbie
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02 Mar 2008, 1:16 am

I am still not comfortable around people. It takes me a long time to get comfortable around people. Even if it is someone I "know" online, I still feel uncomfortable and unable to be myself in person. It can take years for me to feel comfortable around people.



Obstinate
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02 Mar 2008, 10:30 am

I started to feel more comfortable in public speaking when I got rid of "friends" who put me down on a daily basis. That leaves you to rely on your own feedback, which is alot easier than people saying "Oh man you did this and it sucked and it was terrible!". What you don't know doesn't hurt you right?



Brittany2907
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02 Mar 2008, 10:41 pm

I'm still not 100% comfortable around people...even my own family.

I don't think it's something i'll ever be able to achieve...but it's something that I could improve on and do to my greatest ability, whatever that may be.
However, I will NEVER be comfortable in the slightest with public speaking! I puke, pass out, or stutter endlessly.


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richardbenson
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02 Mar 2008, 10:46 pm

How long dod it take you to feel comfortable around people? never.



CockneyRebel
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02 Mar 2008, 10:57 pm

It depends on the people that I'm with.


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yesplease
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03 Mar 2008, 8:42 am

While being around friends tends to relieve anxiety a bit, I'm still nervous around strangers. Scripted actions such as asking for info at a help desk to paying for items are fine, but I tend to get really nervous in most informal social situations, even those w/ family members I haven't seen in a long time.



scumsuckingdouchebag
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03 Mar 2008, 11:40 am

I'm moreso confused than anxious/nervous when it comes to one-on-one conversations.

In small groups, I usually either have too much to say(if it's about something I'm interested in), or too little/nearly nothing at all to say(both of which has had a tendacy to annoy people). My tendacy to 'zone out' angers people because they think I'm deliberately ignoring them, when this 'zoning out' is usually uncontrollable. I'm only uncomfortable in small groups if someone gets angry at me for some reason or is constantly berating me, otherwise I'm perfectly fine. I'm fairly certain I'll become a bit nervous around others in this situation in the future if I try to develop a friendship again, because I don't want to f**k it up. For some strange reason, people act differently to me when they are in groups, and figuring out what is now appropriate/inappropriate takes a lot of thought.

Large crowds, I'll always be uncomfortable with. There's just too much going on; too much noise, too many people(to where finding someone out of the crowd is difficult), and being afraid to bump into someone because I hate the way that feels.