How can a NT make eye contact more comfortable for an AS?

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Is it possible for a NT to make an AS more comfortable with eye contact?

Get him sunglasses...

Seriously, he wears his script all the time...

And he has such pretty eyes...sigh...

For me, when I am uncomfortable with eye contact, it is because I'm not sure how long I can look before it becomes a stare. If you can assure the aspie that you won't think that he or she is creepy due to accidentally looking at your eyes longer than an NT might look, then I think that should make him or her comfortable with at least trying.

Why do you want eye contact?

Ya that is my problem. As a child I just avoided looking into peoples eyes. My parents often made me look at them before we talked and over the years I learned to look in peoples eyes when they talk seriously with me to convey I am being attentive and sincere. I have the same problem as you, I dont want too much or too little eye contact unfortunatly I never know where to draw the line, as a result I have noticed some people avoid eye contact with me, I take that to mean I am doing it wrong somehow, and it makes them uncomfortable.

I doubt I will ever learn in my lifetime how to do it appropriatly.

Some find it painful some don't. It depends on the person.

It's painful for me. It's kind of like the other person is staring into my soul.

I don't like to look persons in the eyes, I do not have a clue how long you should look and when to turn you gaze away. And it feels like people are going to see in your thoughts.

But people get me more comfortable when they site next to me and we discuss something on a monitor or a table. Then looking in the eyes is not really necessary.

Thanks for the advice. I think when you begin to trust someone eye contact just isn't as important as it was at first. I've heard that it also burns.

I can make eye contact but not full eye contact cos it would start 2 get painful secondly i get quite dizzy so minimal eye contact works 4 me.

I can make eye contact when listening to people, but not when speaking, otherwise I forget what I am saying, unless its a short question. I do like eyes though in general.

I'd say no, if only because the AS may not know why they don't like eye contact. For me, eye contact makes my skin crawl. To this day, I don't know the eye color of anyone at work, and I had to force myself to look at my girlfriend's eyes just so I had an answer if someone asked what color her eyes were.

It's like arbitrarily trying to get comfortable with someone touching a surgical scar... Call it crossed signals if you want, but even if someone found a way to teach this, would the AS even be interested in learning? Eye contact is illogical and irrelevant, but somehow valued by society, so like most social aspects, it can be emulated, but unlikely to be natural or comfortable.

Not saying the NT couldn't try; just don't expect results.

Great idea.
I'm going to buy a pair of sunglasses.

Eye contact is actually considered disrespectful in some cultures so maybe reading a book on cross-cultural communication and learning about different ways of expression might help...

i used to hate making eye contacts until one day my dad said to me that it's very rude not to do it. i took that very seriously. so i practised hard and tried to fight my embarrassment [and also the fact that it makes my speech more awkward]. eventually i think it succeeded, because now i feel 'wrong' if i talk without eye contact. so now i'm kinda normal =] at least, in one NT thing

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ic&t=44284
http://www.neuropsychiatryreviews.com/a ... ntact.html