Dealing with an NT friend?

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Ok, this sounds stupid but I'm an aspie so maybe some of you can identify. Well, a week ago, I had a fight with my friend. I don't know if any of you seen my post where it says I'll never get back with her even if she does apologize.

Well, I got a phone call from her and she asked to come over. She didn't apologize or anything. In fact, she acted like nothing happened. So, we talked some and I said "Yeah, you can come over. Tommorow would be better." Now I'm all nervous and full of stress. I hope things go out smooth. I just have a difficult time with people's unpredictable behaviors. I feel like I'm on the edge with her. This is probably b/c of my AS. It's funny b/c I don't have hardly any friends, much less anyone who will come over.

I'm just wondering if any of you can relate. I have a problem with empathy if someone is upset, I don't know how to deal with it. All I can say is I'm sure he didn't mean it or I'm sure you'll get better. It's strange she'd even hang out with someone like me. Another problem I have with her is space. She's always wanting to come over and always calling. I don't want to be rude or nothing but give me a little space. Whenever I bring that up she takes it as an offense. When I talk about space, it sounds like I'm being rude. I don't know how else to describe it. Well what do you all think? Again does this happen to you? Am I the only freaky person who's freaking out just b/c she wants to come over?

I feel like a nut for even using this as my topic, but this site has helped me to accept myself a little more with this AS. It would be nice to her from you all. Sorry I made this long.

I have learned some empathy but even that is shaky. I still have trouble not offending someone sometimes.

I have an NT friend that is like that, he isn't as bad now though. He wanted me to spend the night with him every weekend or come over to my place. Whenever we were away and looked at the answering machine, there would be 30+ messages, all from him. Now, he wants us to get an apartment together. I don't know how to turn him down without hurting his feelings.

you definately aint alone MissConstrue.

And yeah, I hate it when people get upset. Most of the time I am baffled why they are upset about what they are upset about. And hopefully they are upset with other people around and I just mimic the others. If it's just me I just go "aww" and pat their shoulder. Family and friend have learned not to really talk to me about emotional stuff if all they want is a comforting shoulder. If they actually want to work through a problem then... hey lets ask *izaak*.

As for the wanting space. It's a bit of a difficult one. I myself have one friend who comes over (or invites me over) just a fraction more than i'd like. But I make the sacrifice because if I lost this one friend, I wouldn't have any left. It's one of the fine balancing act we play as an AS.

I am not freaking about your friend wanting to go to your house. But when my friend comes over and I am not ready for another dose of social interaction, I freak out. but freak out is a little strong.

Your circumstances are slightly different. After what you detailed in the other thread, i would freak out too.

What I would do,

is I will try and see what is going on that she is behaving in such a way, usually it's nothing personal but rather either her

1.) job
2.) boyfriend
3.) parents think that she is five years old (even if she is twenty-something) and generally being overprotective

4.) or just general stress

Don't probe or interrogate, just gradually and slowly ask her what is going on.

I have may NT friends like this, it's perfectly normal
Heck, even I act that way sometimes

The best medicine for stress and worry is do something spontaneous like I go out with my friend out on the train to NYC (I live in Jersey), or if money is tight, to an ice cream/coffee place, or watch a movie, just normal "friendly" things to do.