Phones and talking

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I had some very important phone calls to make today. I hate doing phone calls cause I always miss the cue of when its my turn to talk, even more so than in person. They went horribly. Even calling to set up a doctors appointment is a chore. I hate being put on hold because the music is greety and it hurts, but i get too nerveous not to pay attention so i can know when im off hold.

Anyone else have trouble with the phone?

Also, i have trouble approacing my psych. I get nerveous and dont know what to say so she will get my diagnosis right. So far im under psychosis not yet specified. ive told her once or twice about aspergers, but she asks alot of questions about my mood and my nightmares instead about voices (i do hear murmurs off and on, i still think its just random hearing things that are happening far away) and such.

I have the same problems with the telephone that you do. I really hate those things and having to use them almost makes me ill. The only thing I have found that makes it a little better is to try to take some deep breaths and prepare mentally, and then try to find a quiet place to make the calls.
I also try to go in person to make appointments when I can. I hope that helps a little. I wish I knew a better trick to eradicate the stress of phone calls, too.

With the other problem, I think I know what you mean. When I talk to my counselor, sometimes I have to tell her that my anxiety level is so high that I'm worried that I'm not able to tell her accurately what is going on. Then we usually slow things down a bit. Luckily she understands this.

I hope things get easier for you.

I sooooo have this problem. I have one post where it says I forget words. Now with my psychiatrist and therapist, I write stuff down before a visit. I've also been more honest with them about my problem. They know I have AS and I'll usually say, "Now bare with me but......" Some of these people get irritated with this but I now try not to let it get to me. I'll be polite, but interactions with the "adults", that's what I call them, is hard. So that's on them if they get irritated with me. I just try to be polite about it. Other than that, you have my sympathy. Espeacially when you schedule an appointment and they make you wait. I used to wait for so long that I would hang up and call again.

I also hate being told my appointment is for say, 8am and i end up getting into the office at 8:30 =_= or even 9:30

I don't have too many issues on the phone as long as it's kept for business use. I don't really like using the phone for idle chit-chat.

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Life is a journey, let's ride

Argh, argh, argh. This is one of my many banes. I hate to make phone calls, unless it's an automated system, of course. I don't see why people don't like them. They always say they want to speak to a real person, and that is the opposite of my problem!

I've fought with my fear of the phone forever. It takes me forever to return calls from friends. Calls regarding my business are painful. I have an easier time calling offices for doctor's appts. and such, because it's nothing personal, almost like calling a machine.

I've tried forever to figure out what to do about this and have seen articles about getting over phone phobia, but I think they were written for NTs. All this time, until a little over a week ago, I really didn't understand what my problem was. Then I found out about AS and it all made sense.

Now if only someone would write a "dealing with phone phobia" article specifically for Aspies! I really would like to figure out how to pick up the phone without white knuckles someday.

-J.

Probably the best bet is to prepare what you have to say, practice it, and then calm yourself down before making the call. The latter is best achieved through deep breaths and meditation (which does not rely on you sitting there going "ohmmmmmm..." - just relaxing the mind through smooth, deep breathing patterns.

There was a teacher at the first high school I went to who had a terrible stuttering problem... but if he practiced what he had to say he's speak fluently.

Practice could very well be the key here.

I don't have trouble talking on the phone but I HATE answering machines. I'm not too fond of paging, either. That's because I used to work with a bunch of people who would sit and make fun of the way people talked when they paged. Like if someone's voice was "too nasal". Or they messed up on a name, which is easy to do because there are people from all over the world at my workplace.

I don't like being interrupted by the phone when I am working, unless it is an urgent situation. I have one co-worker who will send me an e-mail and if I don't answer right away, she calls me. Nine times out of ten it is not urgent. I dislike it because it breaks my concentration. I have tried to tell her not to interrupt me so often but it doesn't seem to sink in (no, she is not Aspy). There are at least 50 different people that I am "on call' for, and even if I was NT I couldn't possibly deal with all their requests at once. When the phone rings or some one e-mails me, I am not allowed to ignore it. Before I realized I had AS I wondered why I would go home stressed to the limit; it is because I am doing something my neurological system is not designed to handle. I only wish there was some way I could tell my boss that, that instead of criticizing me when I occasionally lose my cool, he should be amazed that I can even function as well as I can.

Also, one of my pet peeves is when people call me at home (usually telemarketers) and ask for me without saying who they are first, so that you have to repeatedly ask who is calling. I was always taught that business phone etiquette dictated that you say who you are and then ask for the person. But apparently not these days. And it is not always telemarketers who do this. Because I am active in a couple of organizations it is not uncommon for me to receive calls from people I don't know relating to organizational business. I have started to tell those callers that if they do not want me to hang up on them in the future then they need to identify themselves right at the start, because if I have to ask who they are, I am going to hang up. I think the problem is people have come to rely on Caller ID so much they don't realize it does not always work or that people don't always have it.

I don't like using the phone cos i have problems with communcation and i often get misunderstood.

I used to have a lot of trouble with the phone but now i'm getting better at it. I still have difficulties at times but not as much as i used to. I can use the phone to book appointments...but don't really like "chit chat" as thats when I have the trouble over when to say something.

Its painfully embarrasing, too. Last call i made was to my worker for my food stamp case and because i got nerveous and kept not understanding what she said she started talking real slow and i didnt know if she was being snooty or what and i was so embarrased. I felt dumb.

I don't like talking on the phone as well. Especially if I do not know the person on the other end. If I'm chatting with friends, I prefer the phone often because it doesn't require to look at someone, but if I have no idea who'll answer the phone or if there is a chance you are put on hold... urk! I did confrint my fears however yesterday when I contacted the Bundesnetzagentur to tell them of fraudulent calls, I received (they can make these people lose their phone number). I think I even made it without being rude or stuttering much.

I really hate phones too. My phone manners are appalling and I waste far too much time and mental energy thinking about what I'm going to say. Usually I just avoid them and use emails and such wherever possible. Actually I can't remember the last time I needed to use a phone. Probably at least 6 months ago...

i agree i also hate using the phone and will avoid it unless totally neccesary

I have troubles using a phone but don't mind a great deal when I know needs to be said and the conversation is brief.

What troubles me is when I have to use a phone and other people are around. I always start feeling like I'm going to have a panic attack so I always have to use my cell phone in private.