same old problem

Post Reply New Topic

I found another person in my lab class that I have a lot in common with and he asked if we could

hang out but to shorten my answer I said no. It happened all through high school I had friends but

always turned them down on hanging out. And another person in my class keeps trying to be my

friend and we've had lunch a couple times and he asked me to sit with him last time but b/c I'm so

quiet and seemingly unfriendly I guess he thinks I don't like him. I don't know how to arrange

hanging out or starting a conversation either any ideas?

Start by saying yes to invitations, and when you sit down with whoever, start out by saying, "It would be a favor to me for you to start the conversations because I don't know how to."

I wish I knew too. I am very shy and I prefer to not speak, but write. Sometimes I just say, "I am very shy and rather socially naive." I am not sure how another will interpret, but I mean precisely what I say. This is an implicit suggestion for the other to 'take the lead,' since I do not know how. You could try a version of this. lelia's suggestion is the best - you could try this approach, which is honest and direct. For me, there's no way to 'fake it,' and I just would not anyway. Some Aspies can and do pretend to be NT, which works for them. My difference is noticeable so this is not an option. I'm told a common interest is good - your lab class. Ask them questions and just listen, I guess.

Ok....that was lousy advice. Sorry. I do try though.

I would not understand the hint, though I can understand the explanation perfectly. It is probably because I am somewhere on the spectrum, so if it works for you, use it.
And smile ocassionally, that does wonders.