What can I do in order not to get invited again?

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LostInEmulation
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15 Mar 2008, 5:38 pm

I just came back from a 'party' and I feel really shitty.

I hate family celebrations with a passion. While I always get emotionally blackmailed to attend, I never have fun, have MDs (and lock myself in the toilet for those) and never talk to people more than absolutely necessary. Did I mention that some people, I despise are constantly around me? :puke:

I started thinking, my family has such a desire to have me around, but since they don't realize how it is for me, they are just plainly cruel to me. Why is their desire for my presence more important than my psychological wellbeing anyways? I want somehow to get the point across that I never want to be at a family celebration again, preferably without insulting them. Any advise?


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woodsman25
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15 Mar 2008, 6:02 pm

Indeed family celibrations means people want the WHOLE family involved. Many want ya to come, but often I find people SAY they want ya only because its the acceptable thing to say and that half the time they could care less weather u arrive or not.

Personally if you really dont want to go I would just tell them you have other plans, be firm when you say that and follow thru by not going.


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KingofKaboom
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15 Mar 2008, 6:03 pm

I used to hate family get togethers myself and would just find the place in the house or wherever we were that had the fewest ppl or I would stand outside and enjoy the air. I HATE some ppl in my family I just don't speak with them or go near them. But now I've found some family members I like and talk to them the whole time as for no more parties it's unlikely they'll ever stop getting you to go so I recommend those ideas or a book and an mp3 player to zone out.


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LiendaBalla
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15 Mar 2008, 7:09 pm

'sigh' well, at least you're not having these get togethers with people that are even more stranger like than them. I can understand the meltdowns. After all, you didn't ask for the expectations, or to mentaly force yourself to participate socialy in how they (not you) see fitting. :( Yeah, that would be scarey! More so if you personaly feel that you can't cope with it.



LostInEmulation
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15 Mar 2008, 7:21 pm

Don't forget the noise and the music. I can't even understand my own thought at these events.

@woodsman25: My mother unfortunately cares and emotionally blackmails me into going :(

@KingofKabooman ogg-player is probably a good idea, but it would be considered rude...


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KingofKaboom
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15 Mar 2008, 7:31 pm

So be rude let them know your not enjoying yourself maybe they won't invite you as much.
As a kid I was super selfish so rude, crude, mean, they all meant jack diddlely.
If your not having fun they'll notice and try to change it so you are and if they don't say you have to study I guess that works for me b/c I'm in college dunno for you don't know circumstances.


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sinsboldly
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15 Mar 2008, 8:45 pm

LostInEmulation wrote:
I just came back from a 'party' and I feel really shitty.

I hate family celebrations with a passion. While I always get emotionally blackmailed to attend, I never have fun, have MDs (and lock myself in the toilet for those) and never talk to people more than absolutely necessary. Did I mention that some people, I despise are constantly around me? :puke:

I started thinking, my family has such a desire to have me around, but since they don't realize how it is for me, they are just plainly cruel to me. Why is their desire for my presence more important than my psychological wellbeing anyways? I want somehow to get the point across that I never want to be at a family celebration again, preferably without insulting them. Any advise?


I was just thinking how many other people really don't want to be there, either. I will bet if you waved some immunity wand over them so many of them would wish it were as easy as hiding in the bathroom or stepping out side to puke.
But you are not going to get much sympathy from the other ones that want to cut out early or come real late simply because SHOWING UP IS EASIER THAN NOT SHOWING UP.

now lets think about that for a minute. What would it be like if you didn't show up? Not for YOU, we already know you wouldn't miss it at all. I mean the family would encroach even MORE upon you, seeking you out, wondering what was wrong, could they do something, would you like more of this, less of that. . . until you just cloud up and THUNDERSTORM all over them.

so. . see it like a tithe. . a little time where you pay your dues and then escape, like a lot of the rest of the people there, doing the same thing.

some things we just don't get out of. :roll:

Merle



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16 Mar 2008, 6:49 pm

LostInEmulation wrote:
I just came back from a 'party' and I feel really shitty.

I hate family celebrations with a passion. While I always get emotionally blackmailed to attend, I never have fun, have MDs (and lock myself in the toilet for those) and never talk to people more than absolutely necessary. Did I mention that some people, I despise are constantly around me? :puke:

I started thinking, my family has such a desire to have me around, but since they don't realize how it is for me, they are just plainly cruel to me. Why is their desire for my presence more important than my psychological wellbeing anyways? I want somehow to get the point across that I never want to be at a family celebration again, preferably without insulting them. Any advise?

I have that same situation, only I don't go.

No amount of blackmail is going to force me to be miserable with all the people that broke my self-esteem.

Maybe say you're busy?



sinsboldly
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17 Mar 2008, 1:21 am

ebec11 wrote:
[
I have that same situation, only I don't go.

No amount of blackmail is going to force me to be miserable with all the people that broke my self-esteem.



you mean, you HAD self esteem and these people broke you? Wow, they must be pretty powerful.



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17 Mar 2008, 10:37 am

If you hate it, I just wouldn't go. If you're a teenager or what have you and are being blackmailed by your parents, I'd explain it to them and you can hopefully work something out. I get out of any social outings where I'm pretty sure I won't like it frequently, family or otherwise. I don't care if they think it's weird, hehe. Lesser of two evils.



ebec11
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17 Mar 2008, 6:16 pm

sinsboldly wrote:
ebec11 wrote:
[
I have that same situation, only I don't go.

No amount of blackmail is going to force me to be miserable with all the people that broke my self-esteem.



you mean, you HAD self esteem and these people broke you? Wow, they must be pretty powerful.
Yeah, they are. My father was extremely abusive to me, and they just stood there and covered everything up. They say they love me, but they love my father and his new family too. It hurts really badly.



Bluesummers
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17 Mar 2008, 6:21 pm

Oh come on! It's your family. Did you ever take the time to consider, that they want you around for who you are? Who cares if you just stand in the corner, they're just happy having you nearby.

Suck it up and put a smile on their face, you don't get that many chances to do that.


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MysteryFan3
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17 Mar 2008, 6:27 pm

This is a longshot, but maybe you can go long enough to greet the people you like, then leave. My mother called that "making your manners", meaning that while you did show up, you didn't stay long enough for a problem to develop. Maybe half an hour at most?

If not, make yourself scarce when it's time to go to the next event. If they can't find you they can't drag you along.


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LostInEmulation
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19 Mar 2008, 9:27 am

MysteryFan3 wrote:
This is a longshot, but maybe you can go long enough to greet the people you like, then leave. My mother called that "making your manners", meaning that while you did show up, you didn't stay long enough for a problem to develop. Maybe half an hour at most?

If not, make yourself scarce when it's time to go to the next event. If they can't find you they can't drag you along.


I tried it with one hour ("You know, I'd love to stay longer, but I need to catch the last bus!") and it completely exhausted me...


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24 Mar 2008, 6:28 am

Eat some sausage,sauerkraut, kimchi, pickled eggs, pinto beans and fried chicken either early that day or the night before. Then show up and let er rip! After clearing several large areas with a preternaturally foul type of flatulence, :twisted: you can tell them that your stomach is really messed up. By that point they should believe it! :lol: Then just go home and enjoy yourself, with your window open of course.