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iddqd
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21 Mar 2008, 9:02 am

Okay, this girl invited me to her party, I sent her a text message telling her I couldn't go, but thanked her for the invite and said happy birthday anyway. I was surprised at how quickly she replied, I thought she mush have been on a computer or something... anyway, she said something along these lines "...we haven't really talked much, and I thought it would be a good opportunity to hang out"... I was actually pretty amazed at how nice she was being as she is one of the "cool", "hot", "popular" etc... girls. So I thought I'd give her my MSN, and I told her I'm not so shy now... nothing back. It's been about six hours, and I'm really pissed off. It'll be two weeks before school is back, and I have no idea what happened.

Now I've heard the expression "nice guys always come last", but does this apply when the girl is nice to *me* to begin with? She has a boyfriend, and I don't like her like that... but really, was giving her my MSN coming across like I *like* her? I hate this feeling, did I do something to upset her? I'm so confused, do you have any thoughts?



KingofKaboom
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21 Mar 2008, 9:27 am

I say you're overreacting waaaay to soon hours isn't enough she could have gotta up her house could have caught on fire who knows if in the time school starts she hasn't contacted you then she doesn't like you and move on just let her respond it may take a few days if she see the message as reply to me on the internet or something, just give her time she's only human and stuff happens to get in ppl's way.


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Kalister1
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21 Mar 2008, 9:50 am

8O



Sarcastic_Name
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21 Mar 2008, 11:39 am

A lot of people don't use MSN.


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Caravaggio
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21 Mar 2008, 12:44 pm

I invited a friends cousin out for wine tasting as shes turning 21 and didn't reply for 8 full days and I know she got the message as it was on Facebook. I feel insulted as that puts me in low regard (granted we aren't really friends and I would love to be hers as shes an interesting person) but NTs for the most part will ignore something if they don't want to say no flat out.

As for IM and email most people aren't at their computers 24/7. Text messages are a different story, most people tend to have their phone strapped to their hip. However I am currently on day 4 of waiting for a reply to something and I'm feeling hurt because of it. I know why they aren't replying and it isn't because they don't want to but it still hurts as all I need is a simple answer to something.



CaptainMac
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21 Mar 2008, 4:26 pm

It could be that her computer died. I'm a technician in my spare time and I once worked on a laptop for two weeks since I had to wait on a part to come. The girl I fixed it for didn't really have Facebook or AIM access for that time period except for a few minutes here and there at the library.

If she's in high school, she's probably out of luck--high schools usually don't permit that sort of stuff with their computers.

Or she may not have access to a computer for whatever reason--vacation, parents grounded her from it, father is doing income taxes, etc.



Caravaggio
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21 Mar 2008, 4:56 pm

Hmm I spoke of the devil and she got back to me today. Taking them to dinner on Thursday at a rather nice place.

Patience with NTs is a requirement, I don't see any reason not to call someone back when I get a spare 5 minutes 10 minutes after getting their message where as I know people who will wait a week to call you back for whatever reason.

IMO if you have time to: sleep, cook, scratch your nose you have time to return my call.

As for that feeling just put it aside and wait a while. I honestly thought a few friends hated me when they didn't return my calls but one was just going through some bad things and didn't want to see ANYONE and the other lost her phone. I have found that 99% of the time there is an honest and good reason for why things didn't happen promptly.



gsilver
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23 Mar 2008, 11:45 pm

NTs will often go long periods of time without attempting to make contact.

I talked to one of my friends specifically about this issue, and she talked about how she could go months without contacting people that she considered some of her dearest friends.

Even my brother (who I'm closer to than anyone else) can go for weeks before talking to me.



iddqd
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24 Mar 2008, 3:55 am

Still nothing back form this girl. Very annoyed. What I said wasn't inappropriate, but something must have pissed her off because she was being so nice to begin with. What s**ts me mostly is how awkward it will be when I see her at school. I don't know whether to smile and say hi, or to avoid her at all costs or what kind of reaction I'll get because I honestly have no idea what she's thinking. It makes no sense what so ever to make no reply, just "because". I mean, NT's will talk and talk for no reason at all, then when you contact them over the internet or by phone, they have nothing to say. Jesus, has anyone developed the cure for NT syndrome yet? :roll: 'cause I'm sure as hell not the one with the disorder here... xD



GreatCeleryStalk
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24 Mar 2008, 8:37 am

I don't particularly like text messaging because it's not instantaneous. However, I frequently don't respond to text messages if I don't have anything to say in return.

If I'm particularly busy I will ignore pretty much all attempts to contact me.



the_incident
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24 Mar 2008, 12:08 pm

iddqd wrote:
but something must have pissed her off because she was being so nice to begin with.


This is not necessarily true. As others have said, something may have gotten in the way, or it might have slipped her mind.


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hartzofspace
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25 Mar 2008, 2:04 am

I'm going through this, as I have gotten acquainted with this other woman, and she was so enthusiastic about hanging out and stuff. So, I e-mailed her about an activity that I was thinking of signing up for, and she didn't respond. I waited two days, and then left a message on her phone, just a general hi, how are you doing? No reply. Wait a few days, leave another message. Wtf? Wish I knew. I know that she has health issues, as I do, but I would never ignore anyone for that long. Feeling sort of confused and hurt. Trying hard not to take it personally. :? So I know how you feel.


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BesideYouInTime
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30 Mar 2008, 5:41 pm

She may feel rejected that you declined her party invitation.



iddqd
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02 Apr 2008, 3:04 am

BesideYouInTime wrote:
She may feel rejected that you declined her party invitation.
No, she said it's okay... I heard about fifty people showed up at the party, so it's not like she was fussed about me not being there. She probably wouldn't have noticed if I was there. Still nothing back though.



chtucker18
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02 Apr 2008, 8:52 am

yea i had that happen to me i cant understand that either.