It ticks me off when people say "maybe" to invitat

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98% of the time when people say "maybe" when you ask them if they want to do something, unless they provide a real variable that could change their plans (for example, "I want to come, but there is a chance my exam will be rescheduled for that time. When I find out, I will let you know."), they are either A. holding out for a better offer, which I find to be incredibly selfish or B. only saying "maybe" because they are too weak to say that they don't want to come, when in fact they don't.

Does this bug anyone else?

Only if I have to know specifically if someone can do something with me because of scheduling or purchasing issues. Otherwise, unless I hear a firm "yes" I assume I am not their top priority of the moment and let it go at that.

Yes, for the reasons that you cited and the unpredictability of what is to come. I like things to be planned, not up in the air.

I hate it - I generally find that maybe means no, but they dont want to say no for whatever reason. I on the otherhand often say no immediately (particularly to something last minute), but then when Ive had a bit of time to think about it and reconcile it with my other plans I change my mind and have to go back to the other person and say yes. Cant deal very well with a sudden decision.

I too really struggle with making sudden decisions. I feel like it sometimes takes me at least five seconds to think through what I have going on, to weigh the pros and cons of accepting the invitation, etc., and this seems like an unbearably long and awkward period of time when someone has just asked you if you want to hang out or whatever.

Yes, nowadays I have started to say dont know and maybe instead of an outright no to give me some time to think, but I get the impression that I am giving a much more negative signal (even though its likely I will end up going) than the NTs who say maybe as though they are really interested and then just never turn up.

But I have noticed that by saying maybe (as I do now sometimes) people seem to expect that I have actually said no and seem surprised when I change my mind and say that I will come. This suggests that maybe does mean no to most people, but is meant to be a more polite way of saying it. If I really dont want to go I will generally give my reasons and conclude with a no, rather than saying yes or maybe and then not going.

Maybe almost always means "I'll keep that in mind - if nothing better comes along, and I'm that bored that night, I'll show up". If someone gives me a maybe I write it off as a no and move along.

It does bother me. When it's a certain distance away, that's fine, I can accept that they don't know their plans and so forth - mine generally are still fluid at that point, in terms of not needing a concrete answer. However, when it comes to my "deadline," after which I must know to lay down concrete plans (I am uncomfortable otherwise), then it bothers me a lot. So usually I tell people when I need to know for sure, or I keep reminding them as the artificial deadline approaches.

I absolutely HATE it when people are wishy-washy in responding to an invitation. Even if I say, "Do you think you'll be able to come?"

Here are the equations:

"I'll try to make it" = I WON'T BE THERE
"Sounds interesting" = I WON'T BE THERE
"Not sure yet" = I WON'T BE THERE
"Possibly" = I WON'T BE THERE

mY ex-girlfriend used "MAYBE" & "ILL THINK ABOUT IT"
as her way of saying no, realizing If she told me the actual answer
of no then I would have gone off and delt with things difruntly then she was ready for.
It took me a long while to realize those answers meant actualy no,
and I think she was counting on that, in a way those maybe's and Ill think abouts was actualy lies.

Butch--I can relate to what you're saying. The reality is that people want to be polite and they don't "want to hurt your feelings", so that's their way of saying no. In life people are often afraid to say what they really think. It sucks, but you can't change that.

I thought people said 'maybe' because they aren't sure. That's what I do.

Maybe is often used by people too weak to say no to something. Like if I'm invited to a party I really don't want to go to, I just say maybe. Of course, it means no. I don't want to upset my friends.