parents are trying to drag me to a wedding reception. help

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ToadOfSteel
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19 Apr 2008, 4:05 pm

I hate wedding receptions and I just want my parents to stop with this nagging about it... I've been to multiple wedding receptions where they've said "You'll have a good time" to me and I have, without fail, never had a good time at such events.



alex
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19 Apr 2008, 4:08 pm

free food. that's all I care about.


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ToadOfSteel
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19 Apr 2008, 4:11 pm

the food is usually horrible (in this context, "horrible" refers to food that I don't like, and since I'm a picky eater, there's a lot of good food that would be labeled as "horrible".)



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19 Apr 2008, 4:12 pm

Free food, yeah! And CAKE! lol

Make it a personal challenge. Dare yourself to do something you wouldn't ordinarily do. Dance. Start a conversation about an interest you have with someone you've never met. You might not have fun, or you might surprise yourself :)


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RockyMtnAspieMom
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19 Apr 2008, 4:22 pm

Free food and cake...I agree! But, no picky eater here.

What do you like to eat? Bring something you like with you. Can you bring a date/friend that you will have fun with? Can you bring a pocket video game (go ahead laugh, my husband does this!) that will make it bareable?

Also, you are 20 years old? You may not REALLY have to go. If they know you have AS, they will understand (should) how much you hate the social stuff.

Good luck.



hartzofspace
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19 Apr 2008, 4:23 pm

My mother once forced me to attend a reception, and even paired me with some guy I didn't even know. I was about 14. Her view was that I should stop moping around the house and learn to act like other young people! So, for the entire evening, I sat in a corner and stimmed. Was that guy ever disappointed!


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ToadOfSteel
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19 Apr 2008, 4:47 pm

RockyMtnAspieMom wrote:
Free food and cake...I agree! But, no picky eater here.

What do you like to eat? Bring something you like with you. Can you bring a date/friend that you will have fun with? Can you bring a pocket video game (go ahead laugh, my husband does this!) that will make it bareable?

My ipod is standard issue for these kinds of events, but my standard tactic of isolating myself in a corner doesn't work because someone (my mother if no one else will) tries to pull me out of said corner. And I can't even get a date to begin with, so that's ruled out too...

Quote:
Also, you are 20 years old? You may not REALLY have to go. If they know you have AS, they will understand (should) how much you hate the social stuff.

My mother is the one trying to drag me there, and she herself has AS.

Quote:
Good luck.

Thanks, at least there's one person out there who agrees with me...



RockyMtnAspieMom
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19 Apr 2008, 6:50 pm

If you end up going because you feel obligated, here is how you can have fun:

Try to embarass your parents as much as possible. Use your evil humour to attract unwanted attention. Mess with them as much as you can. Dance like a complete fool, as if you are having a drunken epilectic seizure, twirling around them on the dance floor using 'jazz' hands.

I know you think that you could never bring yourself to doing this...but, if you can do it, and you get the courage...imagine the looks on their faces...and they may never drag you to another wedding reception again.

(I know if my son ever did that, I would laugh my butt off, so that might not work at all)

Once again, good luck.



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19 Apr 2008, 6:53 pm

Learn to deal with it, I also had to go to three of them and it is horrible and all but I still had to go, so I hope you don't get to avoid them :)



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19 Apr 2008, 8:12 pm

Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it. I have a love/hate relationship with social situations. I never, ever want to be the center of attention. I love watching, however. My tactic for getting through a situation like this is to get someone else talking, and then listen without saying much.

If people insist on asking ME questions, I can generally steer the discussion towards something I find interesting. Goat breeding works, or the economics of running websites. People either find it fascinating (good! Someone to talk to!) or they don't (good! they went away!). Either way, it works for me.

I just wish I didn't have to wear such awfully uncomfortable clothes to social events.

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ToadOfSteel
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19 Apr 2008, 9:50 pm

Well, I pulled through... My parents didnt make me dance (although the music was unbearably loud cuban that made my parents wish for earplugs, so they didnt take to the floor much themselves), and I was able to sneak out early...


Another crisis averted...



Thomas1138
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20 Apr 2008, 3:20 am

Heh, I'm skipping my mother's wedding in June. It's up in Pennsylvania so they can't get too mad at me.



skahthic
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20 Apr 2008, 4:14 pm

Lucky for me I don't have to attend many of these things, and the ones I have attended haven't been tooooo bad. The last one I did go to was for my 2 close friends ( the ones who moved away, sadly) so I wasn't alone there.
Free beer and food are definitely an advantage at any reception.
Did she say you had to stay the whole time? Maybe you could stay an hour or so and then feign a bad headache/stomach ache and go home. At least then you DID go, you spent some time and paid your respects and then no one should be too upset.



KimberKenobi
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22 Apr 2008, 7:46 pm

It's very difficult when I cannot get my mother to understand my limitations... (even harder to trust her when she refuses to make a concession to my comfort and I know that if I don't just bare it, she'll call herself a bad mother and cry...)

sigh.

Even parents have issues... It would be nice to be able to have a safe word for my mom... but she says she knows best. I'm 24 and still having issues (though just found out I was an aspie last week, so maybe there is now room for improvement?)


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Shpadoinkle
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24 Apr 2008, 1:23 am

Sweet Jeezus, I'm sorry!

Here's how I would approach this:
1. Refuse to go! If you must go, try to bargain with your parents so they will give you something as a reward. A marmoset. Or an emu.
2. If you go, make sure you look GOOD. Not quite as good as the bride or groom, but look as fashionable and sharp as you can. That way, even if you goof up, it won't be that bad.
3. Please don't bring a hand-held game or an iPod to the wedding reception. I guarantee you will be the center of attention. Please please please. If you have to rely on that, go back to #1.
4. If you're there, and you look good, and you're feeling comfortable, you will probably end up sitting next to someone. Let them talk, then ask something like "what was that like?" or "do you do that a lot?" or "what did you do before that? do you like this better?" (Those NTs love to talk about themselves.)

Just some ideas. I hope that sounded reasonable.

Patrick