Aspies and death...

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So I have a question.

I have never found funerals important. I have never cried when some one close died until a few weeks later when it sunk in they were not coming back. And on average I cried in my room alone.

I have been told AS comes with the lack of empathy. However I am very empathetic. Always have cared for the little guy and always have given change to the bums. I have never insulted anyone without reason or misunderstanding, and I certainly always clean up after myself at lunch even if it is a "mall food court" nobody should have to throw away my food or clean up my mess.

But my question was more about death.

Does anybody else agree with me that mourning some ones death is a ridiculous practice and that it should instead be a celebration of their life?

Yes Zane, I concur completely. However, one thing I have learned over many years is that funerals and mourning ceremonies are not for the dead. They are for the living NTs left behind, who DO have unresolved feelings of loss and sorrow to work through, and who derive much emotional comfort from a social support network. You attend these things not for the sake of the deceased, but out of respect for the fact that the deceased person would certainly have wanted his or her friends to support their loved ones through that grief process.

My wife lost her mother a few years back and as her siblings were virtually estranged from each other, she had only me as emotional support through her grief process. Needless to say, I'm afraid I probably wasn't the biggest help in the world, but I tried to at least be a sounding board when she needed to talk about it.

Yes, I also have a delayed response to others' deaths. My emotional responses to things happen slowly and concern mostly things that happen on a large scale. Celebration of the person's life was a big part of how some of the funerals I attended were run, as well as the meeting at the bar afterward.

interesting, at about 12, my great grandfather died and i cried only a little, and it was mostly because i was already going through pain

when my mom-mom (step-mother's mom) died, i dont know that i cried any, if so,. barely, for i have forgotten

yeah... funerals ...never understood the need for them...

First of all, sometimes it gets WAY too loud for me.... then i get bored, cuz there's a LOT of people there I don't know (so i'm usually clingy to my mum)... and every time I do muster enough guts to look at the casket...it always seems that they are breathing...the whole thing just creeps me out

I think it is good to say goodbye to a person and it helps most peopel psychologically. I do agree that we do not necessarily have to have funerals for that. They are kind of depressing and in my opinion I do not think one of your deceased relative would want you to be sad

At my great-grandfathers funeral, it wasn't about mourning that death of him, but celebrating his life. Infact, it wasn't that sad at all. We had many different finger foods for lunch where the funeral was held, at an RSA (Returned Servicemen Assocciation). Some people got up and made speeches about the good times with him, the silly experiences that they had with him and for the sake of it, made a joke or two and laughed about it.
Sure, a few people cried at the funeral, but I would estimate that 90% didn't. I don't believe that crying at a funeral is bad, it's grieving and thats only natural. Although I do believe that funerals don't have to be a depressing time, but can be a time of celebrating a person, their experiences and their accomplishments.
Of course your deceased relative wouldn't want you to be sad...and this way, you don't have to be.

Anyway, back to the initial thread topic.
I haven't cried at a funeral, nor after any relatives death at all. It's not that I wasn't sad, but it was because I know they would have wanted the best for me. And...the best for me would be to get on with my life and enjoy what time I have left, because you never know when it will end for sure.

I deal with death much better than you'd think I do!

I think Brittany is right, it's all about celebrating someone's life as sad as it would be to let the fact that they're gone sink in!