you talk too much ! !
I have been called arrogant, egocentric, egotistical, the world revolves around you (my son)etc. People wnt to hear my travel stories (I visited 59 countries, I am a modern nomad, really, can't find a home or feel at home...maybe that's due to my Aspergers too?).
But what I want to know is...when do I talk to much and for too long? When do I bore people...they ASKED me for my stories and they remain polite and smiling, which encourages me to tell more. Behind my back from friends I hear then that I want all of the attention. sigh!
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Your Aspie score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Have you tried giving yourself a time limit on how much you talk about your experiences which sound very interesting btw? And when you've reached your limit ask them general questions as people love to talk about themselves usually. I mean who knows you better then you and when having a convo with another it's easier to think of things to say then to pick a subject out of thin air.
It could be too that they have places to go and errands and work they must get done. I know dh is careful to call her when he feels like he can devote x amount of time to have a conversation with her. Making an effort to watch the time is a very considerate thing to do IMHO.
Look at your interaction as a tennis game. Make a statement or ask a question and then wait for the other to volley their response back.
yeahh.. people are like that.. but they expect you to initiate conversations and ask questions about them.. I dont like bothering people about their personal life so i dont ask them, because I hate when they ask me about mine.. which obviously fits into the whole aspergie syndrome, with being self absorbed..
It could be too that they have places to go and errands and work they must get done. I know dh is careful to call her when he feels like he can devote x amount of time to have a conversation with her. Making an effort to watch the time is a very considerate thing to do IMHO.
Look at your interaction as a tennis game. Make a statement or ask a question and then wait for the other to volley their response back.
Thanks for the advice...
I do have difficulties picking up the cues. Like when I am talking and suddenly the host talks to someone else and asks him or her if he or she wants to drink something. I never hear them say: OK go on with your story.
What is IMHO??
The host walks to the kitchen and lingers there a bit, meanwhile I am waiting to pick up the thread and continue talking about what I was about to tell them, but no hint still whether they want to hear more or if they are just being polite and let me rattle on.
This happened last year and I am still mulling over it as I do frequently over things in the past in that way, trying to come to terms with what I did wrong.
_________________
Your Aspie score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
It does depend on the person. The conversation isn't difficult for me it is when that darn anxiety appears out of nowhere and then it becomes hard to maintain good eyecontact and to follow the situation.
Know what you mean. I can stew over a conversation or interaction for years afterward too. And IMHO is in my humble opinion.
DentArthurDent
Veteran

Joined: 26 Jul 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,884
Location: Victoria, Australia
Yeah I have travelled heaps (aspergers definaltely stops you from getting homesick). I am always getting told off for talking too much. I remember one incident. I once worked onboard the Rainbow Warrior and got arrested annoying the coastguard. When I got back onboard someone asked me to tell them ALL about it, looking back it was a really bad request of someone with AS (did not know I had it at the time). I think because we miss social cues we just go on and on. I now force myself to ask questions and if someone is talking to me I actually put my hand partially over my mouth as a reminder to let them talk and respond when they have finished
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"I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance anyday"
Douglas Adams
"Religion is the impotence of the human mind to deal with occurrences it cannot understand" Karl Marx
What I've observed is that if they want you to continue talking they'll ask quesrions and/or make the kind of comments that invite further explanation/description.
The following are indirect ways to ask you to stop talking:
- banal interruptions, such as offering coffee to someone sitting next to you and going into the kitchen to make it
- listening politely and passively, silently
- looking another way / attention called to outside noise / the window, the TV, etc.
- changing the subject
- turning the topic to themselves
- checking the watch
- answering a question made by someone sitting with other people in another circle nearby.
- derogatory comment about what you're saying / dismissing something you're telling as unimportant
- commenting that one is in a hurry
_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.
awww dont worry my boyfriend talks forever, and half the time i dont listen, he talks about things that interest him n not me im like that doesnt interest me shutup lol
But I really dont mind listening to people who talk for agees, because i like listening
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
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