Fitting in

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I might be ungreatful towards my friends and love all of them very much. However, my friends are all on the spectrum and accept me most of the time. However, I often find that I do things that annoy them constantly and I feel pushed away. Moreoever, I have the tendency to talk about something non-stop and these people will walk away from me. In response, I just feel guilty and and want to cry. Moreover, I am also the youngest of most of my peers as most of them are in their 30's and I'm this ditsy 26 year-old trying to keep up with the conversations. And it that isn't enough, I feel like all of my closest friends all are seeing someone, and I feel singled out. For example, I got together with two of my closest friends this past Saturday afternoon. And they are both seeing someone. One of the friend's boyfriends was there holding her hand, and my other friend has a date that night. What's wrong with me? Does anyone ever feel that way sometimes?

Hi Miyah,

That is great that you have friends who accept you for who you are. It is very common for people on the spectrum to have friends who are either older or younger than themselves. When I was much younger I had trouble making friends with people close to my own age and often found it easier to talk to people who were older.

There were many times in my life in which I felt lonely and didn't have a boyfriend. Have you thought about maybe asking your friends if you could all get together for a girl's night out sometime? Just because you are younger does not make you ditzy. You just may not have had as much experience in some areas of your life because you are younger, that's all. I enjoy having friends of all ages. It makes life interesting to have connections with people of various ages. It's hard sometimes to be a young adult in your twenties and feel like you don't fit in with people closer to your age. If you are feeling left out it might be a good idea to share that with your friends.

You are still young. Hang in there. In some ways life has gotten better as I have gotten older because I have learned to accept myself for who I am and not try so hard to be something that I'm not. I'm not saying it's perfect, but my self-esteem is so much higher compared to when I was in my twenties and I felt utterly worthless as a human being. I have found that the best way to deal with loneliness is to keep myself occupied doing things that I enjoy. What kinds of things do you like to do for fun? Maybe you could find a club or interest group that would have people closer to your age in it. I know you are not where you want to be and that can be frustrating. But I hope that you can find some activities that are enjoyable for you so life doesn't become just a constant state of frustration that you are not where you want to be yet.

I am feeling better today but I was yesterday. I was also tired of my job and felt like a freak. In addition, that creep's adopted granddaughter made fun of me for talking out of the side of my mouth and I almost started crying. When she did that, it made me think of how my own father talked about it and poked fun of it. And this was out of the mouth of a nine-year-old. And that's what led me to think that I didn't fit in.

Every human is different. In being different, we are all the same. Thus, by being different, you are fitting it.

The hard part is convincing yourself that that's true..

I know it's hard; For me, I have a facial deformaty on top of AS, so I never could hope to "fit in" even if I wanted to. I was forced to learn that I am different, and that even though I stand out from others in behavior and apperance, I am still a fantastic person with a lot of good traits. You, and everyone else, has good traits too, and no matter what anyone says that will never change. I don't know you, but I feel I'd be right in saying that you are a great person, and nothing anyone says will change that. Just remember all your good points.

Don't let the dogs get you down.

Yeah I know what you mean about having good qualities and traits. I have a few good friends who are younger than me as well as my closest. I even have a few friends who promise to do things with me and then they get together with me and then I get kicked. For this reason, they think I talk to much and that my conversations aren't good enough. I also have another friend who has low self-esteem and has a tendency to ignore me and pay attention to her guy friends. However, all in all, I love them very much.

Why fit in? Be yourself not them

as far as fitting in goes, i don't care. if i can't accept myself enough to be myself, then no one else will. so far, i'm pretty well-liked and have many good friends and classmates. one of my best friends is even going to introduce me to a girl she thinks is my type. so not fitting in got me pretty far.

this topic reminds me of one of slayers lyrics:

I need a freind
Please be my companion
I don't want to be
Left alone with my sanity