Small talk question

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I earn a few € distributing newspapers and yesterday, I had to do so in the pouring rain. It didn't rain cats and dogs, it rained elephants. Whenever I came to a door and encountered people, they invariably said something like 'Heavy rain now, isn't it?' in a tone, in which they also could have said: "You have to deliver newspapers? Tough s**t!". Why do they do this and what is the appropriate answer? (I guess "only if you're outside" was not quite what people expected...)

I'm not sure why people say things like that (I used to deliver pamphlets a while back). Usually, I find the safest bet is too respond jokingly, like "Only if your outside" with a warm voice and a small laugh afterwards. That way they either let the conversation end normally (joining in with the laugh and then moving on) without the awkwardness or come up with something to respond with, which I can then respond to jokingly again or some other way depending on the response. It depends on the person usually. The joking response works better with people who appear less threatening (serious, so to speak) and are more likely to join in with the joke. As with people who appear to be more serious, a simple "yeah or yes" works miracles especially if you follow up by repeating the question, "yeah, it is raining pretty heavily". It plays more on their emotions without coming across as rude.

I think they only want to show some sympathy to you, having to be outside in this weather and giving you a chance to complain a bit.
"Only if your outside" is in fact a funny response and would work with most people. Laugh with it, like Irada said, so it's sure they know it's funny.
Or just state something factual like "Yes, all the morning since I started", "Yes, and I forgot my raincoat" or something on the line may earn you a free coffee!

They are trying to reach out to other people. If one could read between the words they would say,' I would like to know you'. What they have to say doesn't have to have any informational value what so ever.

i dealt with a lot of different customers at my summer job (restoring decks) and i've had situations like this come up pretty frequently. i try to tailor my response to the person asking the question. so if the person looks uninterested, stern, unhappy, etc. i try to keep it short, a simple "yes it really is" said playfully with maybe a bit of a chuckle keeps it short and the playful/upbeat tone makes it less likely to come off as rude. if they seem like nicer, more sympathetic people, i tend to add a bit more to it. i might throw in some kind of mishap that happened because of it (like "i forgot my raincoat" as suggested earlier) just to get a bit of a conversation. the problem with this is that i've gotten trapped in long conversations that i desperately wanted to end but didn't want to seem rude, watch out for the elderly, they've got more time on their hands and tend to be chattier.

now i didn't always get the impression that it went well, but there were a lot of calls to the office raving about the good jobs i did, despite being late, not finishing the job because of time conflicts, bad scheduling, etc. so i think i did pretty well with the conversation.

the main thing to remember is that they are essentially your customers so try to be upbeat with them, be polite and try to keep the conversation short so that you can get your job done more quickly and/or get more work done. most people (key word being MOST, not all) don't really want to be held up talking to the hired help for too long, so try not to let yourself talk their ear off.

People generally just want to strike up a conversation with you and be friendly, and it's hard to think of things general enough to say that they relate to both of you even when you don't know anything about each other. The weather is one of those fail-safe conversation topics.

You should say, "Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious."

Yes, they're trying to show sympathy. I think what they expect is for you to relieve their guilty feelings for being dry and indoors, by saying something like "oh, it's just water".