clamming up in a group

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My life got much more enjoyable once I reached an age/stage of life where I'm not pressured to go to pubs/clubs/bars. It always baffled me how people could enjoy that. I liked drinking beer and eating nachos, and if my best friend was right there with me, it was tolerable because she protected me. But with all the noise, and chaos, I don't see how anyone can be truly social in an atmosphere like that.

the last time i was in group it was an absolute nitemare. i can easily talk about things i like if its only one person but as soon as more people are introduced i always become way to self critical about what im talking about and shy away back to the forest, also i have no advice.

I used to drink with some work colleagues after work. I didn't really want to go, a few people persuaded me. I never really got into the conversation, a lot of it was just joking around, making fun of people at work, gossip you know the rest. The funny thing is I used to listen and being the rational person I am, I tried to study the way people talked and found that these types of conversations don't have a structure. They simply flow and I couldn't keep up. When I had something to say the conversation had already moved on.

Wish I could give you some meaningful advice but the truth is I am glad I am not in those situations anymore as they were extrememly stressful and I felt so out of place there.

I agree with hal 100%. I've tried to analyze conversations of people at parties or in groups. And I really don't see how anyone gets anything meaningful out of it. Most often it is just people talking about one somewhat related topic to another with no real direction or purpose. And when I try to listen and take it in, I never get any real useful information out of it.

Also, I sympathize with not be able to keep up. When I finally have something to say on a topic the conversation usually has shifted just slightly enough for it to be awkward, and I think, when I talk, people are slightly annoyed. This even happens during the rare occasion that the conversation is something that interests me, which is frustrating.

During any 'get together" where either there are many strangers, or I find the noise of people chatting too boring, which is very often, I will most certainly leave the room or immediate area. I will simply consider myself an exile from the party, and either wander around aimlessly, or find something trivial to occupy myself until it is time to leave. For example: walking around outside the house or neighbourhood, touching the petals and leaves of a houseplant plant while admiring the different textures, playing with a cat or other pet in some non obvious place so as to not be bothered myself, or quietly playing on a piano in someone's home while I think no one is paying attention.

That is pretty much me a lot of the time. I have two close friends and I phase out with them too. Fortunately they don't mind. Personally my approach would be to talk to just one person at the time, the person sitting next you preferably. People do have separate conversations in groups sometimes so you are not doing anything wrong by it.

Also ask if you can sit it a quieter area. Not all pubs are packed, some have more private and outside areas. You might suggest different choice of venue.