How to mend a friendship?

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I think I have offended a friend of mine. Due to several circumstancial reasons I had no way other than e-mail to communicate (he doesn't like phone). Last e-mail I sent him I let him know that I think he might have AS, I posted a WP link(I think WP is great). People here warned me that he might get angry as first reaction. But I am not even getting a reply!
Well, in past he has always said that if I don't get replies from him, he eventually does reply - I should carry on sending him e-mails as he loves reading them. Also, that if he is ever angry he will let me know.

So in my e-mail I restated that assumption. But in my heart I am really worried. As he is one of the sweetest persons I have known and I would never want to hurt him or offend him.

I don't know what to do? Also, don't want to e-mail him again too soon as he may be wanting some space and time?
Any suggestions?

I feel like a really bad friend, though I was only trying to be a good friend.

That has happened to me. Sending an email seemed to work.
Give him time. It will work out, and he'll forget, hopefully.

I would suggest to wait a while (maybe a week), then send a short e-mail (just a few lines) to see how he's doing. I've certainly been on both sides of this type of situation (many times) - it always seems as though the best thing is for both parties to gradually feel each other out - almost as if you are meeting for the first time. It will work itself out, as long as you don't push it.

Good luck!! !

I agree. Situations like these have a way of arising in most friendships eventually. Experience has taught me that the best way to deal with it is to simply take some time off from each other. This gives you each a chance to reflect on the situation.

The length of time you take off from each other should be determined by the severity and intensity of the situation. In your case, it sounds like he might not even be mad at you; he might just be distracted and forgetting to write back. So a couple of weeks would probably be sufficient.

Then when you do start communicating again, it will be easier it will be to make up and move on. And if you end up making up but not remaining friends, at least you'll have a sense of resolution and be on good terms with each other, so it won't be so painful.

I am having a similar issue with a friend right now. She and I have corresponded for almost 2 years, and we used to talk every day, and had met in person. Now, it's once a month.

When I asked for advice about it on WP, she read my post about it (she's a member as well), and told me my personality wasn't good enough. I was pursuing a romantic relationship with her at the time, but was unsuccessful at that.

I want the friendship to be the way it was at the beginning.

Last edited by Tim_Tex on 08 Dec 2008, 9:54 am, edited 1 time in total.

Hey, thanks everyone for your thought through replies!
Yes, giving space seems a good idea.

Yes, that is all I want, to be on good terms. Also, I don't want to be misunderstood by him and it feels important that he knows that my motives were nothing but love and care. Guess I need to grow up and recognise that sometimes people (even lovely people) will misunderstand you and you just have to live with it! I will still send that e-mail in couple of weeks (one week - I am impatient!


Thanks for sharing Tim_Tex, that must be quite tough. I hope it works out for you. You seem like a nice person and hope life brings some happy sun-shine to you soon!