Does she not acknowlege me as a friend?

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A person I know will usually, when our friends are around, greet and talk to everybody except me. Sometimes she may give me a quick smile or "hi", but after that she rarely ever acknowledges me. And today, she gave us all Christmas cards. On my card she wrote "Hope you have a lovely holiday and New Years" whilst she wrote more personal and close messages on everybody else's.

I'm confused because when we're alone she'll try to start talking to me, but she still does not treat me the same as her other friends. She's very friendly but she is much more reluctant to be frivolous or playful towards me. Why does she seem more distant with me? Does she not acknowledge me as a friend?

I am guessing here, but maybe she doesn't know you well enough? You say she acknowledges you with a hi and smile occasionally. You also said that she tries to initiate a conversation. Maybe she wants to know you better, but is nervous because of that certain wall that aspies carry. Do you also keep a vary straight face?

Since you two know each other well (as far as just knowing each other and being in a group), try initiating a conversation and smiling more. I am no expert and I am really bad with using my own advice, but that sounds like what other people have described.

I can think of two things:
1. She likes u and does not want to show it (cause girls very often do not want to show it).
2. She knows that you care to much and feels awkward about it. may be you stare at her too much, so she feels awkward abt it. May be it is too obvious that you have a crush on her.

When we first met, she pretty much immediately began flirting with me and we were both open and very friendly towards each other. As time went by however, she seemed less and less comfortable with me despite me explaining to her that I find social situations stressful and that she shouldn't be offended if I'm not talkative. But still, when we're alone, she'll normally be quiet and stay quiet the whole time and avoid eye contact or start asking me questions. She asked me if I had a girlfriend one time, and after asking me a certain amount of questions, she'll leave.

As for me staring at her, I've caught her giving me glances or stares a couple of times.

It could be in some ways your obsessing and she can see this, if this is the case she may be backing off for that reason.
another issue may be your trying to explain your self too much, people think this is weird and if you sound like you have
too many personal issues people tends to have enough issues of their own then to associate with someone who could bring
them even more.

it seems like you like her and worry how she thinks even though she does not seem to like you.

maybe she is pretty therefore.

if a girl has low self esteem, then they may clam up in the presence of their "heartthrob" friend.
but that is rare, and the vast majority of girls will show clearly how they feel.
if they want you and like you they will let you easily know.
maybe i guess she does not find you interesting, or she has low self esteem and considers you above her station.

I have similar problems, from what I can see girls do this to guys that they do not like very much. Most likely either you are really shy and awkward, or you act like you are crushin on her. Either way it sucks, I know man. Girls are really confusing and it can really get you down quick.

The problem is is that I have to live with this person. She is not single by the way; she does have a boyfriend. I'm usually very quiet and distant with her myself, so I'm guilty of the exact same thing.

If she has a problem with me, she would have let me known in one form or another since we're flatmates.

Last edited by Sirunus on 17 Dec 2008, 8:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is so damn right, man! It someone explained to me their wierdness issues, I would have backed off big time! Why should she care? She really has her own ones. Wanna listen about my bad daycare experiences? issues at school? my childhood deseases? problems with parents? My interests developing? my clumsieness issues? my vaccination record? my pet's habbits? You do not? Then why the hell I should care about those of others?

She wanted to know why I didn't like parties and I just said I find social situations hard and that's why I'm quiet. I usually keep my problems to myself anyway even when she asks if I'm okay, so I really don't see what you seem to be so bitter about. If it was the case that she backed off and disliked me because of "weirdness issues" and me always lecturing her about my problems, then she wouldn't want anything to do with me. I'm just saying that I'm puzzled by why she treats me differently from her other friends, and she's been doing so before I told her about the "weirdness issues". If she had an issue with me being weird and intimidating, she would've complained and wanted me gone. I've seen it happen before.

A lot of you seem to be missing the point. It's not that she's backed off because she is freaked out by me or dislikes me, because evidently she does not dislike me as she often tries to reach out to me and get to know me. I want to know why she treats me differently to her other friends, and why she does not seem to acknowledge me when in front of our friends.

Last edited by Sirunus on 17 Dec 2008, 11:18 am, edited 2 times in total.

I've had that with 99% of the people I met thorughout my life. used to hurt as hell, but I got used to it. <shrug>