Christmas with the family

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Today I returned home from spending Christmas with my family.

Because AS tends to be hereditary, I am in a position that perhaps isn't typical for Aspies, for I have parents who are highly social people but mind you, I'm adopted.

Spending Christmas with my parents, like any visit to/from them, was like visiting another planet. There's also my sister and it's not like she's an Aspie, unlike me she's the biological child of my parents. I paid a bit more attention this year to the content of the conversations. Those from my sister were 100% social, 100% about socialisation and social stuff. A young lady who's obviously highly socialised, with parents who are highly socially oriented.

That wasn't the difficult thing though. Thinking more of social conversation, I was thinking showbiz, the world of entertainment, popular culture etc. count as social conversation and social interests. They are interests that are essentially about people, popularity etc. I am realising there's a difference between social conversation and non-social conversation (I'm realising my interests such as transport, geography etc. tend to be essentially non-social). Well, all my parents seemed to talk to me about was whether I'd seen this or that TV programme or series. The answer was always no, because I'm not interested in such shows; this lack of common ground was hard.

The sense of humour was also difficult. Every time they laughed at something on TV they'd look round at me looking for a laugh from me. Because I didn't instinctively find stuff funny all I could do was force a fake laugh. However, there was a Top Gear programme last night where three British presenters were on a road trip in the American South. They were attacked in Alabama due to a challenge where they had to paint pro-Democrat slogans on their cars, slogans in support of gay/bi lifestyles etc. and I was expected to laugh at that as loudly as my parents did; and at a joke my dad made about New Orleans, still devastated 12 months after Katrina when this was filmed - my dad suggested little or nothing had been done to help the people there because they're coloureds. Because I didn't laugh at this stuff I must have seemed strange to them.

So it was all quite hard and as I say, like being on another planet.

Either I'm missing something
or your parents don't seem that socially oriented to me. It doesn't take much social skill to watch TV and then carry on a one sided conversation/ monologue about it.

I had to force a laugh too at times. My brother and I were watching Stephen Colbert's Christmas Special (it was basically the only bonding we did) and I at times had to force a laugh when he did, even if I didn't understand the joke. Some jokes I did find funny though.

They are socially oriented all right. They didn't monologue me about TV, like some Aspies might do. They are pretty much the complete opposite of Aspies. My point is, whenever they made conversation to me it was about TV programmes - sitcoms, or soaps, or dramas, or other TV series. Conversation just didn't go far because I don't watch these programmes or have any motive to do so.

I'm quite sure these types of programme fit firmly in the category of social interests because they depict socialisation. That's why, by the way, these programmes are so popular - it's what most people want - most people relate best to programmes that depict socialisation. Yes, often what's depicted is people's misfortunes, and troubles, and dramas, and traumas. But they depict a slice of social life and are a social artefact. Indeed, most people know what's going on in these programmes and can carry on conversation about them.