socially awkward Aspie doesn't know how to deal with this

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I don't even know what an appropriate title is for this.
It's about a friend that may not be liked by my other friends.
He has admitted to not liking them.
Ok, well I met this guy, well he saw me out and was to shy to talk to me so he talks to me online.
I confide in him. I can talk about AS or depression and he, unlike most guys responds.
But I found out that he once stole one of my friends girlfriends, now everyone hates him.
I'm also not sure if he is leading me on.

This is why I don't have many friends.
Friends just fight with each other.
I do have friends but I'll never get into this kind of s**t. I'm a people pleaser and avoid confrontation whenever I can. I certainly wouldn't cheat or steal lovers from people.

I guess I should not date this guy.
Dating someone who stole your friend's girlfriend is a big NO.
Thing is there's going to be a gig soon. Everyone is going to meet up.
I'm not sure if I should side with the shy boy with no friends but who also stole my friend's girlfriend, or hang out with my friend and his friends (one of whom is my ex, but we're still pretty cool).

But what if people make this shy boy feel really uncomfortable? I know how it feels.

Maybe you should just be direct and ask him to explain what happened. He might be a generally decent person who made a mistake and is wrapped with guilt about it, or he might be a bit of a dick who can't see what he's done wrong.

I did something a bit like this once. I worked with one of my good friends and his girlfriend, but then they broke up and he left that job. Anyway over the course of the next year I basically fell in love with this girl and vice versa, I knew my friend still had a lot of feelings about her but I couldn't help how I felt and so I told her. Well I didn't go out with her but I did tell her I loved her and kissed her a couple of times before realizing what this would do to my friend. So in the end I told her it couldn't work but then my friend found out anyway and I managed to hurt both of them. But there was never any cruel intentions, I was just stupid and insensitive and even thought I obviously feel guilty I don't think it makes me a bad person. But still to some people because of this I'm just an a**hole.

Basically I'd just say be cautious about him but get both sides of the story before you make any final conclusions.

He fought my friend once. I think he knows what he's done. He doesn't even seem to be apologetic about it.

I like my friend a lot. I think he's a really cool guy. He's not my type, but he's good fun.

In that case I don't think you should start a relationship with this guy. If someone doesn't see what's wrong with cheating and stealing then there probably not going to be much good for you in the long run. I think as an aspies looking for a relationship honesty should be one of the most important attributes we seek in a partner. It's probably all to easy to lie to us.

What if we were just friends?
I've already made the mistake of dating a friends ex, and he um did something to her. I don't understand it much but my sister said he used her. I don't know what that means.

Well I don't see a problem with you just being friends with this guy, just so long as you're a little cautious as to his motivations.

Usually I think when someone says a guy used a girl it means used her for sex. Like if a guy says he loves a girl and wants to be with her and make her happy and then after they have had sex just loses all interest and leaves. But it could mean used for something else, like if she was really rich and the guy used her for money. Basically when someone says that someone used someone else it means used them as a means to an end and where not honest about it.

Yeah, I'll definitely let him know that I don't want to try a relationship with him, because of what he did to my friend.
I really wish I could find a sweet honest guy.

This guy was well off, so it may mean that he used her for sex. Oh dear, and I dated him. I never thought he was the type to just sleep with someone he just met or date someone until he's had sex, but now I know that's he's not that respectable guy I once thought he was. I stayed over at his place recently and he wanted to have sex.

Yeah this guy doesn't sound like he's sweet or honest



There are plenty around, there just hidden amongst all the a***holes.

If you aren't in a relationship with the young man why were you staying at his place? Don't you realize you are putting yourself in a position to be raped? You don't just go staying at someone of the opposite sex's house. There is only one thing on the minds of single men and that is sex. I think you need to find some female friends to hang out with because you are jeopardizing your safety and obviously you are very young and naive to have made friends with such a creep. I was young and naive once, but getting raped and having a gun pointed in one's face has a way of wising someone up. Be careful!

Well I don't want to argue with this as it is sadly very good advice, there are far too many untrustworthy males out there. And yes it's very true that men think about sex a lot of the time. But I just feel a need to say that not all men are untrustworthy. Of course if you don't know the man in question you should not stay at their house. But I have platonic female friends that have stayed at my house, because they know and trust me, and I find the idea that I would attempt to abuse that trust by making unwanted advances or, god forbid, rape them truly sickening. Like I said I'm not disagreeing with the advice you give I just wanted to point out that there are honest men out there and it really is sad that there are people sick enough to actually rape someone.

Well, I thought he was different. I thought he was the kind of person that would only have sex with someone he was dating. That's kind of how it started off before we dated. But yeah, he's just like most male NT's. I don't think he would rape me. Even NT's think it's a horrible thing to do.

Social drama is the most pointless and ridiculous thing ever.

You should limit your outings to public places until you reach a certain trust level with somebody.

It's not pointless if you care about these people.

Some good stuff found here:

No the battle itself is still pointless. But fighting it can become a necessity.