The expat life

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Wondering if anyone here is living/has lived as an expat.

I've accepted a job in Hong Kong beginning next month. I've traveled to various countries, but other than a semester abroad (in England) during college, I've never lived outside the U.S. I'm excited about the prospect for a lot of reasons, but in terms of social opportunities, I'm a bit worried. It's my impression that the local population is fairly insular and reserved, and Cantonese, the local dialect, is hellishly difficult to learn. I'm not opposed to trying to meet and get to know locals, but my AS makes communication in general and taking the initiative socially very hard. I also have a good ear for languages, but I've generally only come in contact with European languages that use the Roman alphabet. Cantonese is tonal and uses the (ginormous) traditional Chinese character set. I'll probably take some lessons, but I'm not optimistic.

That means that socializing will be largely limited to the expat community. I'm a bit concerned about that just because it's an inherently limited set of people and first impressions will count for a lot.

I don't need (and actually prefer not to have) a huge group of friends, but I am happiest when I have a small, close, reliable group of people. I'm sure my new co-workers will be a place to start, but it's a very small office ...

So again, just wondering if anyone here who has AS/HFA has had experience with this sort of thing -- especially with Hong Kong in particular, and what it's like there as an Aspie, whether there are resources available, etc.

Hi NuclearRedaction,

Sorry I don't have any personal experience with being an expat, let alone in Hong Kong. My experience most similar to expat would be when I stayed with my friend's family in Europe for a couple of weeks. I have traveled a decent amount outside of the US but not stayed in any one country for longer than a couple of weeks. And then of course there is what I hear from the people that be...

I am not so sure that you should conclude that your extent of socializing in HK will be limited to other expats. The culture might be insular and reserved but most cultures are generally welcoming and hospitable towards foreigners who take a genuine interest in participating in their language and culture, particularly in Asia. It's a sign of respect for them, and it'll be sure to open a lot of doors. Actually, from the AS perspective you might find it a bit easier to interact with the locals because they themselves will most likely not be all that familiar with the fine details of American culture, though they'll have a perhaps distorted view from exposure to American media, etc.. Consequently they will not hold you to the expectations of American culture as other Americans will. Also they know you're an outsider so they won't have the same expectations of you that they would of another insider. However, you'd still have to reach out to their culture in some way. If your AS and cultural biases are strong, you will have a more difficult time doing this, as everything new will seem simply freaky and you'll have the gut instinct to withdraw. If you've already experienced a lot of different things in this world, then you'll have a much easier time in this regard.

Food is a great way to break the ice all throughout Asia, and people will appreciate it if you are willing to try out the food! Food brings people together, regardless of nationality, belief, language, etc.

From my own experience I've found that it is a lot easier for me to interact and befriend foreigners than it is for me to befriend Americans (I am second-generation Filipino-American). So I don't know, you might find it easier to adjust to the expat life than you might expect. At least there is always the expat community there to help you out when you get overwhelmed by your transition to HK. Yeah the Chinese writing system and the tonal speech patterns will take a great deal of time and patience to get accustomed to, it'll be a totally different planet for you at first. I remember when I visited HK in 1996 (still during British control), I was very surprised by how little English there actually was there! But the discovery and learning made the experience fun and worthwhile.

Best of luck! Will this be your first time in Asia?

well, I've been told that to be 'literate' (i.e., actually be able to get by) you only have to know about 4,000 characters.

Hong Kong was an English colony until about 12 years ago. Some of them will probably speak it better than you do...

There's probably the local equivalent of 'pidgin', that allows people to communicate. It's supposed to be easier to learn a language if you have to use it. You probably won't be fluent for a few years, but you can get by.

And many people will probably be expecting you not to be fluent. Some will actually be grateful that you're trying.

Gan Bei...

I don't recall any members from Honkers, but we do have one in Singapore, Zeno, he's a native. That's about the nearest one I can think of.

If i were to be an expat i would move to Malta as they speak alot of english there.

Thanks for the suggestions ...

I have visited Asia before, twice -- a trip to Japan a couple of years ago, and a week in Hong Kong while interviewing/trying out for the job I'm starting there. During that visit, I did see that there's enough English left over from British rule that, between that and the expat community, I'll be able to get along ok without speaking the local language. That's also where I got my impression of the local community ... it is just a general impression, and I'm sure I'll have opportunities to interact and maybe get to know some of the locals as well, even if it's a little more challenging.

One thing I've found when traveling abroad is that using a different language actually makes me more gregarious than I usually am in English -- for example, when I've traveled in Latin America, I've been fairly eager about speaking Spanish with the locals. Even the little bit of Japanese I picked up while traveling there got put to use. I think it's because languages are kind of like a puzzle that I enjoy solving, and successful communication amounts to solving the puzzle. So I'll definitely make an effort at Cantonese, even though the tones and the huge character set will make it a far more challenging puzzle than Spanish.

You're right about food, Stinkypuppy, and I absolutely plan to look into that aspect. I'm a big food fan.

I've always loved expat life. there's several reasons for this:

(1) expat talk is mostly exchange of information. whenever conversations turn into social stuff or just stuff you don't want to talk about, or if you want to start a conversation you always have all the travel and adaptation advice to exchange

(2) people don't know you. if you happen to be a good first-impression maker you have a great chance to practice your social skills. after they've gotten to know you you can always move forth and meet new people and correct your social mistakes :p making a fresh start conciously is a great way to learn social skills, at least as long as you even vaguely know what it is that you're doing wrong

(3) the locals don't care if you're silent- you're a foreigner so you're the idiot who can't speak properly anyway :p

(4) change of environment gives you a great stimulating kick. good for people with ADHD.

I might think of some more later. good luck in Hong-Kong, it must be really cool I imagine. I know I wouldn't hesitate ;p

Thanks - good points. My main concern in first impressions is not making one at all. I'm often introduced to people socially or at work who then don't remember me the next time we meet. Better than making a bad impression, I guess. Definitely good points regarding the exchange of information among expats and the fact that the locals probably won't think twice about my reticence anyway.

One of my friends moved to Baja and became an expat. She has a lot of expat friends there and from what I can tell they are all the crazy, social rejects type so that's why they probably decided to become expats. I think an Aspie might fit in undetected among their ranks.

I've long wanted to be an expat. I've actually spent the past 5 - 10 years getting things in order so I can immigrate to Australia. I won't have to learn a new language, and the culture is similar to American culture compared to most other countries. There are many other reasons I chose Australia, but I won't bore you with them.

My best friend is an expat from Australia living in America. I used to think Aussies were just like Americans with funny accents, but there are more cultural (and linguistic ) differences than I would have imagined. He's introduced me to other expats in America from Australia and other English-speaking countries (mostly Ireland and New Zealand). Spending time around these people has given me a more realistic sense of what it's like to be an expat.

So, in preparation, I recommend befriending as many foreigners living in your own country as you can and talking to them about the adjustment process. It could give you a general idea of what to expect. There are a lot of minor sources of stress you might not think of until you're there.

There are also plenty of books on the subject. I read one about living as an American expat in general. It was worthless because it didn't focus on any specific country. If you can find a book aimed at your own nationality, about living and working in your specific country of choice, it can be very helpful. I found a big one called Living & Working in Australia. It has been quite informative.