what a friend is

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when I go back to school I want to make a friend but I'm not sure exactly what''s considered a friend. I had people that were nice to me, I suppose, but they also called me stupid and slapped me and lied to me all the time. I don't like that, and I'm not sure if these people just did it to make fun of me. But when I observe other people, especially the boys, they're constantly teasing and calling each other names and hitting each other. Are all friends like this and are they considered friends?

What do you consider a friend to be?

no I've a few friends and they don't hit they also don't (not sure if this is what happens)
continually call me rude stupid names. a friend is someone who is positive toward you, they respect you. you're going to have to talk to people and open up if you don't already. And friends DO NOT LIE! they don't. it may take time since teens listen to stereotypes, rumors, things they heard about others that they'd consider not to be rumors etc. if you're in a large school you'll meet someone unbiased and get a "fresh" start. with people. if not and you're in a small school............. I'm not sure I can help. pm me if you are in a small school or move to one and I'll share some of my experiences with you. If you cannot find a friend at school I'll be a friend for ya' so..... good luck hope I was somewhat useful for you

I think this is quite complicated. The people the OP described don't really sound like friends but then friends do tease each other. I have a few friends who I'm constantly trading abuse with but we all know that it's not meant and if anyone crosses a line all I have to do is say that's not funny and they will stop.

I'd say that as a rule of thumb that if you're not sure if the teasing is real or just a game between friends you should probably be cautious. Generally I'd say that I've only teased my friends after I've spent a good while getting to know them, so that everyone understands it's all in the name of fun and not actually a personal attack.

I'm not sure. They might like you, but in more of a 'laughing at you' rather than 'with you' way. Do all the girls call eachother names/ slap each other, or is it just directed at you?

Basically, if they hit you or tease you and you don't like it, don't be afraid to lose your temper (no physical violence though). Once you calm down, examine the aftermath; if they genuinely like you, they will gain a bit of respect and treat you more like an equal. If they don't, then go find new friends; these ones aren't worth it.

I've had this done to me a few times; it's just jesting that gets carried away. If you don't respond to it, it sometimes escalates into bullying (just to get a rise). You will make other friends, so don't let these ones walk all over you.

As for the lying... that's not on. Don't be afraid to call them out on it if it's malicious (though sometimes NTs make up 'white lies' in order to be kinder to others... it's more polite to let those ones slide and pretend you believe them).

Come on people, stop confusing this girl. These girls are not your friends if they are doing what you say. You could be exgatterating, but I have no way to judge that. Girls support each other, gossip with each other, and "love" their friends not slap and laugh at them. Some guys do this, but even then it's not a constant thing.

I second DustinWX. The actions you described are hurtful things they are using to bully you. Ditch them. They do not even deserve an explanation or hateful remark.

That's what I said to start with!! ! Are my post ghost?!?!


(eh, post ghost... that rhymes )

They didn't really hang out with me or anything it was just in class. There was this one girl, she would always tell me to do group work with her in the class I had. But she'd always call me stupid and slap me a lot. And she'd lie about things to me. One time she pushed me out of a chair in front of everybody. But despite all the name-calling she always let me do group work with her or sit by me so I'm not sure if she was a friend or not.

And there was this other girl. I could tell when she name-called it was joking because she did this with everyone for no particular reason but it was constant. She also let me do group work with her but she was really demanding, always making me let her watch videos on my iPod. But otherwise she was okay.

There were also a few other kids that would be nice to me (not let me do group work with them or anything though) who would always borrow my iPod and hall passes. And there was a group of teens I sat at lunch with but they never really talked to me and I've heard that they used to gossip about me behind my back.

As for what school I'm going to I'm going back to this same school (I quit for awhile but I'm going to go back because I want to try it again). It's a pretty big school but the time I've been there I've made no other friends besides the ones I listed above and I want to try to make some.

She doesn't sound like a friend. She sounds like she has problems



If you can learn to stand up to her, this one might be ok.



users.



not friends.



Buryuntime, I'm sorry to say it, but the other posters are correct; these people aren't your friends. They're not even friendly to you! When you get back to school, join as many after school clubs as you can; you'll eventually meet nice people you can trust.

A true friend is someone who will stop and wait for you when you fall. A fake friend is someone who you walk with, but when you fall, they don't notice and keep walking.

To be honest, most aspies I know would keep on walking, unless you actually shouted at them to stop or someone else had before.

a friend is someone who listens trustfully to the most simple thoughts you can utter.
they do not want displays of genius, they just want to know how you are this day. they care. they do not want an educational dialogue.
they want to hear what you really feel like.
friends are so rare that i do not look for them. it is like looking for dropped diamonds when you go for a walk.
it is absurd to search for things that take longer than a life span to discover.


how were they nice to you then. everything someone has made me believe about them is destroyed when they become a traitor to my character.
i never feel hurt when i discover someone thinks i am a prick behind my back.
when i discover that, i cast them out of my heart before i can feel sadness at their opinion of me.

if someone said they liked me and then they slapped me, then i would not believe them.



competition is rife in procreative worlds of normally functioning animals like NT humans.

i have no friends that i "need".
i have 2 friends that i am glad to have, but if i did not have them then i would still easily survive.


whatever..... my post is just trash among the smarter comments you will read so i will stop here.

Ok from your descriptions, none of the people you mentioned would classify as friends, just as acquintances. Im guessing that you see these people mostly within the perameters of class and school in general. If any of these people are calling you names and being mean to you and you dont like it, then their definetly not friends. If they are friends, then for one you could probably tell them to stop. Do you ever hang out with these people outside of school? If their not at least open to the possibilities, then there not friends (unless theres a damn good reason for them not to be open to it). If there are people you sorta hang around but dont talk to, there not friends. From experiance, when you have a friend, you'll know it. If you come into question whether their friends or not, then they most likely arent, but they're maybe casual friends at the most.

I feel your pain, I guess girls are b*****s to other girls. I never see it much but I guess it happens.

Letting you do "group work" is probably because they want you to do work for them.

u know its iteresting how i have all sorts of different types of "friends"
1. I have friends that i could talk about personal stuff with
2. I have friends who I hang out with but I could never feel close to

It's the 1st type I need more of (quality not so much quanity)

The 1st type I have in excess but my disabilities get more in the way of actually being close 2 ppl. That's y I'm so depressed.

Oh..