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Hunter4242
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18 Mar 2006, 2:43 am

And it's not in a good way. I just got back from a St. Patrick's day party. Now, I already get "left out" because i don't drink, however it threw into sharp relief just how much of a social ninja I am. I was at a party with about a dozen people, for the most part nobody seemed to notice me until I managed to make a witty comment, which would cause people to laugh about it and then forget I'm there again.

It's not hat I'm invisible, since no one tries to sit on me, it's just that for the most part I am a non-entity as far as itneraction goes. I'm naturally shy, possibly as a result of my lack of confidence, but regardless does anyone have any advice on getting people to notice me in a good way? I'm much better at having a conversation started with me than I am at starting a conversation after all, and if i can get people to talk to me it would probably be a lot easier for me to deal with people.


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Brainsforbreakfast
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18 Mar 2006, 8:58 am

I know what you go through, in my case, people didn't see me because I didn't make eyecontact and was just staring at the floor.

So my question is, do you make eyecontact with the people around you? Do you 'scan' the room?



TigerFire
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18 Mar 2006, 12:52 pm

Hunter4242 wrote:
And it's not in a good way. I just got back from a St. Patrick's day party. Now, I already get "left out" because i don't drink, however it threw into sharp relief just how much of a social ninja I am. I was at a party with about a dozen people, for the most part nobody seemed to notice me until I managed to make a witty comment, which would cause people to laugh about it and then forget I'm there again.

It's not hat I'm invisible, since no one tries to sit on me, it's just that for the most part I am a non-entity as far as itneraction goes. I'm naturally shy, possibly as a result of my lack of confidence, but regardless does anyone have any advice on getting people to notice me in a good way? I'm much better at having a conversation started with me than I am at starting a conversation after all, and if i can get people to talk to me it would probably be a lot easier for me to deal with people.



A ninja huh? I've been a lone wolf for such a long time but now I'm more like a wolf guarding its catch since I'm engaged. My fiance has brought me out of my shell and now I'm seeking out friendships with the opposite sex. Yeah I know how it is to get left out. I've been shy before becaue I did lack confidence in my self. I try to want others to start conversations like you do. I'm always sarcistic when talking sometimes. Hope things are going well for you.


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Veresae
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18 Mar 2006, 3:37 pm

This is one of the reasons why I hate parties or any other time where there's massive groups of people...heh. And I do look at people. Usually the only people who talk to me are the ones I don't have an interest in talking to myself.



Hunter4242
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18 Mar 2006, 5:46 pm

Brainsforbreakfast wrote:
I know what you go through, in my case, people didn't see me because I didn't make eyecontact and was just staring at the floor.

So my question is, do you make eyecontact with the people around you? Do you 'scan' the room?


I try to, it doesn't really seem to have an effect however. It's quite annoying.


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Brainsforbreakfast
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19 Mar 2006, 8:06 am

Hunter4242 wrote:
Brainsforbreakfast wrote:
I know what you go through, in my case, people didn't see me because I didn't make eyecontact and was just staring at the floor.

So my question is, do you make eyecontact with the people around you? Do you 'scan' the room?


I try to, it doesn't really seem to have an effect however. It's quite annoying.


Yoda would say: "Try not. Do or not do you will!"

I have noticed that on parties and social gatherings, people are usualy staying in their comfort zone of their friends and maybe their friends friends. What sometimes works for me is, I try to find a small circle of people, two or three. Not too much. When there are just too people, I first observe their body language towards their partner, as I don't want to disturb people who are very "close" or in a very serious discussion.

I then aproach them and stand in the rim, just listen to the conversation (Is it serious, or just chit-chat?") and I make my precense known by making a little bit of eye contact. The next step would be that I make a humorous coment as a reply to what somebody says, but remember, don't correct them ("No, that is the wrong date! The steam train was invented in blablabla") or make a monologue type of talk. This will come off as very rude.

This works as a small introduction. By doing this to several people, they remember your face, and will come up to you sooner.



CockneyRebel
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21 Mar 2006, 11:38 am

Veresae wrote:
This is one of the reasons why I hate parties or any other time where there's massive groups of people...heh. And I do look at people. Usually the only people who talk to me are the ones I don't have an interest in talking to myself.


The same thing happens to me as well. I find it very annoying. :x



rhubarbpluscustard
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28 Mar 2006, 2:35 pm

Hunter4242 wrote:
I just got back from a St. Patrick's day party. Now, I already get "left out" because i don't drink


I get left out because I don't smoke pot. Oh well.