Wandering Around to Places Alone

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I sometimes do things with my family (parents and siblings) or with coworkers, but generally I go places alone. I look for clubs and activities to go to to meet people, but it just doesn't seem to work out. I go out to eat by myself, go to libraries and bookstores by myself, etc.; but I rarely meet anyone this way. It's a gravely unfulfilling life. I seem to live in an area that has few young people (21-26ish), especially of the single female variety.

I hear ya. Welcome to the Lonely Hearts club of the autistic.
Good for you for trying.
I guess you could try going to new places?
Good luck on meeting people. I wish I had advice.

it's a strange thing; I used to do the same. Problem is (unless it's changed) that usually go with a friend looking for two people you'd like to get to know better. Going by yourself doesn't work as well.

I don't know, it's a mystery - Shakespeare in Love.

When I lived in New York City, you could go to restaurants and ask to be seated at "Emily's Table" and they would take you to a 6 or 8 top table with other single dining women. That was great, because you didn't actually eat with them, I mean they would be at any stage of the dining experience when you were seated, but the restaurants didn't waste a two top seating you alone, and women appreciated not sitting alone.

But now I don't live in that great City any more, and I walk past nice places to eat, or do a take out to bring it home, or back to my work's break room to eat. Unless it is a 'grab a quick bite' place (or a nice little Shushi bar near work) I don't go in and sit by my self anymore.

Merle

I do a lot of things alone too. The only thing I do with other people is meet up with them at gigs, and we might have a 2 minute chat, then they'll leave.

If you have a special interest: Politics, arts, science, history, backgammon etc. You may look for a club of people with the same interest. You also will not been seen as "odd" if talk too much about your favoured subject.

I use to walk around alot alone too but be careful alot of people get gang raped like that.

I like to go places by myself, and it's usually because no one else wants to go to those places.

Walk with purpose, direction and energy. Keep your body focused on the act of walking and make rapid progress. Wear clothing and outerwear that doesn't have any dangling scarves or fluttering fabric. Keep satchels and/or purses close to the body and secured with a thick strap or chain usually crossing the body, not hanging from a shoulder. Be perifirally aware of your surroundings. If you feel you are being followed in a low street traffic area, walk in the middle of the street. Carry your keys in your hand with a key sticking out between your fingers and aim for the eyes.

I have successfully used this technique for years. Most people up to no good will pass on you for a more distracted and less aware subject they can take by surprise and are less of a challenge. It's all about attitude and when walking alone, I put on my 'game face'.

Merle

Funny how I thought I was the only one who hid to eat at the little sushi place near work at lunch time. I keep discovering that all the things I think I'm the only one who does them, others do them too They have a row of chairs at the bar on a dark side, and I see that more and more women alone sit there at lunch time.

I don't have anybody to go with so I do pretty much everything alone. I never liked eating around other people even though eating is supposedly a social activity.

Personally, I'd not offer that as advice to someone with AS. Whatever type of club you join, you'll be required to interact in a way that's considered "normal" within the group setting. My own experience is that I've never had success like that myself, and now avoid any type of group activity. I did try something last year, but stopped as it worked out just the same as it had every time before. Of course, it may work for some, but not many, I reckon.

Occasionally I approach a homeless person and ask them to have a drink with me in a bar paid by me. I've never been refused and one time a woman in the bar kept on looking over at me, definitely interested, no doubt about it even to a person who lacks theory of mind.

Tragically I had a drama rehearsal I had to rush to so I never got to chat to her. In any case, if you try taking a homeless person for a drink you might just meet someone. Looking like you have a friend even if it's not genuine can make a difference. In my experience a lot of homeless people are either mentally ill, learning disabled or desperate enough to be humble so they judge you far less.

I just love win/win situations. They require inventiveness, and you have a lot of it. Well done!! !!

I go to places by myself as well.

Sometimes I go to places myself (usually coffee shops and the cinema), though not usually. Usually I am with someone.

I was thinking, could you get to a university/studenty area? Somewhere a lot of students can be found. Maybe you'd like to meet young, intelligent and liberal women. Here, you can go to a lot of places like cafes where you'd meet a lot of such people.

It doesn't help when you are wanting to meet people but are seen alone, though.