Different ways of viewing the world

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OK I've been having a bit of trouble with some nt friends and I was wondering if anyone has had any similar problems.

I find this quite hard to actually put into words but I'll give it a shot. Sometimes when I see my friends I feel as though we have absolutely nothing to say to each other due to just seeing everything in very different ways. I mean it seems with my nt friends sometimes that everything they do say or think is socially orientated. So say if they hear some new music they're not really listening to the melodies but thinking about what listening to this music would say about them, or if I suggest doing something they decide weather or not to do it based on weather it seems like a cool thing to do, weather it fits into they're idea of what a person like them should be doing. Basically what I'm saying is that it can seem to me like everything they do is to try and define themselves in some way, and then to show that definition to the rest of the world.

And one of my good friends was just over but I sort of gave up trying to have meaningful conversation with him as I considered everything he was saying to be an attempt at doing what I just described, and I really wanted to go beyond that. I'm sure I'm guilty of thinking in this way too on occasion, maybe just less occasions but it's really annoying because I've been friends with this guy for years and I'm not really sure what he's trying to prove to me, I know full well what he's like and I like him for it, that's why where friends. But I still get this feeling sometimes with him and others that they're thinking very carefully about what kind of image to present, and that this heavily influences all areas of they're thinking. And like I said I do this myself sometimes, when I'm meeting new people, but it seems to me that after being friends with someone for several years and knowing everything there is to know about them this kind of thing shouldn't be necceasary.

OK, I hope that made some kind of sense

I completely know what you mean, oli234. It is annoying, but that is how the world works for some.

I know what you're saying. I don't like it when people care too much about their image.

The first thing that comes to my mind is that NT folks actually DON'T put much effort or thought into what they do in this regard- it comes naturally to them. Also, it sounds like you're relatively young yet? perhaps MS or HS age? I only say this because I would have only troubled with this when I was years younger. Now, I just know that AS & NT just don't jive very well together in this area- it's nearly impossible to find a common ground unless there is a very up-front understanding, and even then people need to care, which they often don't. I know I don't.

Thus, we feel like we're on the wrong panet.

My friends are like this all the time! Sometimes I wished they would stop looking at their image and do things because they like it. They just need to be themselves. But they have a different viewpoint and reason to do things from our viewpoints and reasons. A lot different.