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muffrudge
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06 Feb 2009, 7:29 pm

Does anyone feel or know that they've alienated people with this sort of demeanour? I think I have in the recent past and would like to rectify it.



Hector
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06 Feb 2009, 8:42 pm

I've made a habit out of smiling which makes me look less glum/serious. I think that could make a big difference.



pakled
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06 Feb 2009, 9:24 pm

after a while, you can develop a sense of perspective, and smile. As the guy in motion pictures said

"Sincerity...once you can fake that, you got it made"

Doesn't mean you have to be Sunshine, but a lot of social interaction is people going on on autopilot.



Manders
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06 Feb 2009, 9:25 pm

I do this all the time, and when I try to act or look differently, I feel extremely uncomfortable and paranoid, and have to stop.

I find that a lot of the time it has to do with my environment. At my old job, I worked there for years and I felt very comfortable with the restaurant and other employees, and I acted perfectly normal and friendly with anyone new coming in. Or when my roommates would have friends over or throw parties, because it was in my own home I felt comfortable enough, and was fine. Whereas if I'm out in public, or in an unfamiliar environment, I'm tense and pretty much unapproachable. Perhaps being somewhere you feel comfortable can help.

I have changed certain people's perceptions of me over time and by getting to know them better. Perhaps that's key to some of us, and those people who just come and go or don't want to go further than a first impression will never have the pleasure of getting to know us. At least that's how I see it. :wink:



TheMidnightJudge
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06 Feb 2009, 11:24 pm

I've been having this problem, especially around a certain girl (but that's a tragedy for another time).


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muffrudge
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07 Feb 2009, 3:44 pm

Thanks everyone. I have decided to work on being more relaxed and stopping myself from entertaining thoughts or feelings that cause me to look miserable or become withdrawn, even if it takes considerable time and effort and doesn't make a world of difference to my integration into this group who i've always hung around but who seem to be drifting away from me a bit lately.

And MidnightJudge, I'd be very interested to hear your story about this girl.



oddballdeviant
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08 Feb 2009, 12:45 pm

Smiling and looking happy is good... until you reach the point where you overcompensate and all you do when you look at people is smile and show no variance of emotion, then it creeps people out. Then you reach the point where you think you are happy because you're smiling all the time, and when you reach that realization that you're not and it's all been a huge mask... that's when the miserable thoughts REALLY start to go into overdrive...



Tim_Tex
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08 Feb 2009, 8:12 pm

I try to watch how I come across, but also have the occasional relapse.