Ignoring PMs from people you contacted

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Many people on WP who've known me a while from the forums will write me, out of the blue, and I'll take the time and make the effort to answer their private message and ask questions, taking an interest in what they shared, only to have them ignore my reply and never write me again. It's made me jaded (I'm a human, and I get hurt and I feel rejected and it harms my self-confidence, and that's a scarce and precious resource for me, and I feel stupid and used) and now I think I'll start ignoring anyone who writes me. Why should I answer private messages thoughtfully and keeping in mind the chances my reply will be acknowledged at all tend to zero?

I've always had difficulties answering emails. Each one requires specific interest and thought, meanwhile my mind is usually far away with my obsession. Also, the longer it is left the harder it becomes to answer properly. However, if they send the email then you would expect a reply to a reply.

I guess I would only not reply to your reply if I felt myself snowed under with other emails arriving in the inbetween time. It would, however, make me feel bad.

This just bugs me. It bugs me when mods contact me regarding some things and they don't even answer my questions so what kind of job is that they are doing where they ignore their member's questions. So I am thinking when one of them asks me a question I will just ignore it because why should I answer him/her when they won't answer mine. I mean how are members supposed to understand their actions and aren't even aware of them until they get contacted about it and then they ask questions to try and understand more and bam their questions don't get answered so it leaves them hanging.

I've had this happen, many, many times! I have even had people write to me, and offer friendship, and then, after a flurry of pms, suddenly ignore me. It really hurts. I have enough rejection in the real world, without it happening on here. I even had one member offer to send me something, and she never sent it, even though I very politely asked her about it a few times. I even risked giving out my address to this person, which I now regret.

I try my best not to do this to others, but often think, why bother, if it is being done to me? The result is that I am very leery of responding to pms at all, since there is an inherent rejection in there, somewhere.

Moderator communications are not invitations to discussion and debate, we have X amout of hours to do our tasks and we try to get to as many as possible.

Each moderator has a full time job as well as keeping WP open and moderately safe for members. We spend hours and hours online at WP to keep it up and running.

I have several screens of ignored moderator warnings in my 'Outbox' unread page, Spokane_Girl, and none of those former members have member accounts with WP any more.

just sayin'

Merle

Hartz, that's how I feel too. The big irony is that I used to NEVER leave a PM unanswered because I sympathized with other Aspies who, like myself, face so much rejection in our everyday lives, only for them to ignore MY pm!!

And yes, I've had people ask me to start an online friendship, only to disappear once I'd warmed up to the idea.

I don't know why people do this, haven't the faintest clue, except that maybe they write me when they're having a bout of loneliness and forget all about me the next day as the flow and ebb of life distracts them. But even so, even if you find someone's reply to your PM utterly appalling, unless it was heinous why ignore it? You're doing YOURSELF a disservice because you're contributing to people in gral. becoming jaded. What goes around, keeps going around and around until one day it comes around to you. I, for one, hereby stop being Greentea the one that you could take for granted would answer all your PMs thoughtfully. As Hertz says, I get enough rejection and mind-games in the real world as it is.

That only happened to me once just when I joined the site. Didn't really bother me much though.

Whatever the reason, the person being ignored can speculate endlessly, and still end up with hurt feelings. Us spectrumites are all too well versed in speculating and analyzing these kinds of things endlessly!

Ignoring my questions is rejection. And just a simple acknowledgement of having read my PM won't make their life crumble when they were the ones asking me to correspond.