What did i do wrong last night on myspace chat?

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seaweasel
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08 Jul 2011, 9:08 am

I was talking to my friend and it only lasted 5 mins. She asked what i was doing, and i said i was watching a movie, she said umm..., than she said bye.

What did i do wrong?



Radiofixr
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08 Jul 2011, 9:40 am

Happens all the time to me and people disappear and/or give me quick one word answers and never want to talk and they are talking at length to others.


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Mindslave
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08 Jul 2011, 9:55 am

I think it was some combination of you being busy watching a movie (not the type of thing you multitask with) and the implied meaning behind it, roughly translated into "What I'm doing right now does not involve you, so ha!" I think the best response would be something like "eating a banana" or anything that says that you have something else to be doing besides JUST talking to her, but not so busy that she feels left out. It's a tricky line, and I don't like it very much. I usually give the answer of what I'm actually doing, or I say "Talking to you" and she always loses interest, and of course I don't care. If she wants me to give a stupid answer, she's going to be sorely disappointed.



K-R-X
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08 Jul 2011, 10:28 am

I think you are supposed to show minimal disinterist in what you are doing in order to make it clear that you are availible for conversation - but still be doing something so as not to be too availible.

So "Talking to you" is too blunt/direct.

Whereas "Watching a movie" is exclusionary

So "Just watching an old movie."

or "mucking around with some old videos"

Would be a desired response.



nbfm8
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08 Jul 2011, 10:32 am

I am a NT married to an Aspie. I do not use instant messaging ever because it's always awkward. When I'm online, I'm trying to accomplish something (reading email, research, etc..) I feel interrupted when someone tries to chat. The trouble with IM's is that because it's spontaneous, you can say something one way and someone will interpret it another way. It's hard to type your emotions. I do not recommend IM. Give me time to put my thoughts together in an email.



bicentennialman
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08 Jul 2011, 12:30 pm

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Maybe your friend just decided to go do something else and couldn't think of anything to say.

One thing you could do is ask your friend a question of your own-- that would give her something to respond to (it's harder to come up with a topic without some kind of prompt) and it would indicate that you won't be bothered if the conversation continues.

So something like this:

hey what are you doing
>Watching a movie.
>What about you?

Or:

hey what are you doing
>Watching How To Train Your Dragon.
>Have you ever seen that movie?



Frelsun
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10 Jul 2011, 10:10 am

It's hard to say; it sounds ambigious and I know Aspergians hate amibiguity, but if possible try not to let it bother you, unless maybe it's a habitual thing.