Who here never has anything interesting to talk about?

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Who can carry on a back and forth conversation , but never has anything that is interesting to most people? I have a feeling I don't. I don't know what other kids are interested in, I don't get out much so I don't have that, I don't really have friends outside of school so I dont have that. So mostly im left with ranting about things that bother me or annoy me or whatever, or something hilarious I saw online or something, anyone else feel this way?

I never have anything to say, and even if I did I would screw it up because most times when I try to speak I just stammer and mess it up.

I think like that too, but I'm so bad at getting words out of my mouth that I'll never know. I think the approaching people + getting words out clearly is the hardest part for me.

It is hard for me to talk with other plebians.

I feel the same way. I often find myself unable to think of a single thing to say. Sometimes (usually in groups) I do think of something to say, but I can't get the words out. It doesn't help that most of what people talk about isn't interesting.

My trick is to find a common denominator with those I'm speaking with. I have so many interests that I'm bound to have one in common with just about anyone I'm speaking with, though not always, in which case I move on.

My problem is once I try to connect with someone on the common interest level, if they go off beyond what is considered normal, I get kinda pissed.

Case in point: my mother in law believes in eating lots of healthy foods like veggies and fruits - so do I. But how we arrived at that conclusion is completely different. For me it was for better health. For her it was because of her new age beliefs. We also differ in that I still eat a regulated amount of meat while she eats none at all. But she will still come across as berating me for that one thing rather than have a discussion on what we have in common. I find it rude. Its almost as if she doesn't really want to get along. Its like she gets off on trying to piss me off by imposing her belief in how much better she thinks her way of doing things is compared to mine. I'm not trying to compete though... I'm trying to relate. Its very frustrating. I WILL end up having a conversation with her about it once I have figured out the best way to go about it, being that she will be a part of my life for a long time to come.

Most people don't do this when I talk to them, and therefore it can be fun to engage in conversation. And, it is just enough above superficial to adequately hold my attention and satisfy my need for deeper conversation, thereby making it a pleasurable experience to me. And from time to time, I try to accommodate the more boring small talk as well. Sometimes it leads to something deeper. Its kind of like fishing for me, but instead of getting a fish, I get that desired sense of connection with people. It doesn't always work, but it does more often than not.

Heck, sometimes I will avoid topics that I'm very passionate about if I know it will potentially cause strife between that person and myself. I know I can drift off into a tangent, and I know from being told that it is a big turn-off to others, so I avoid it altogether.

Some things I'm passionate about just intrigue other people, like storm chasing - in which case they will ask me a myriad of questions, which I'm happy to answer. It can make for some great memories when interacting with others. And I walk away feeling encouraged that I'm not hopeless when it comes to socializing.

I've even learned how to manipulate conversations sometimes, which is certainly fun for me, yet oblivious to those around me. But it took a long time to get here. It took a lot of studying personality types and human behavior, mixed with trial and error by being daring enough to try to communicate and be willing to overlook things that would normally irritate me to no end.

I had the convenience of practicing some of my techniques in cities other than my own, that way, when I got back, I didn't seem like such a 5th wheel - although it still happens from time to time. A lot of these people I socialize with would never believe me if I told them I had AS, but the ones who have known me the longest would probably see it and agree, and some have already. Some were intuitive enough to know before I did. It certainly has been a learning experience for me.

I'll tell you one more thing before I'm done... I recently saw a guy in a local pub who, in school, was very rude to me and made fun of me. Having learned that people do grow up after a number of years, though I previously despised him, I boldly approached him. I called him by name and asked if remembered me. He acted like he recognized me but was kind of unsure. I just pretended that I didn't remember any of my negative experiences with him and extended a warm handshake. I engaged in typical small talk... said, "wow I haven't seen you in a long time" at which point he told me he had been living in Arizona for a number of years and was back in town visiting family. At the end of the short conversation I told him it was nice to see him again. And, from what I could gauge, he seemed to throw back a sincere return. I'm never entirely sure of one's sincerity, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I had let bygones be bygones. And for all I know, maybe someday that simple, superficial relationship could be beneficial. Then again, maybe nothing will come of it. Either way, my last experience with him ended on a good note, and that makes me happy.

In the last few years, socializing has been a real hit and miss kind of thing for me. But afterwards, with each analytical introspection, I've learned something about others and myself. I figured out somehow that I have to really watch myself or I'll end up dominating a conversation, which turns people off. I figured out that people aren't always as interested in certain topics that I am, much less with the intensity, as I have. Those who were close to me did me the favor of spelling it out for me in a kind and gentle enough way for me to "get it". Sometimes you have to trust the feedback you get from people, especially if you keep repeating history.

I can't change anyone else, but I can change me. I can try to acclimate myself to others' styles of communication in order to make sure they are comfortable, while maintaining my own comfort. I'm certainly smart enough to figure it out. I know my limitations, and I frequently find that others are appreciative of the fact that I'm honest about those limitations. Again, its not a 100% of the time kind of thing, but I'm willing to accept the losses in order to attain the victories.

my problem is not so much that i have nothing interesting to talk about but that i do not concern myself with simply repeating the most popular opinion on any given subject just to fit in with the crowd. i say what is on my mind whether or not people like it.

for example if someone gushes about michael jackson as the world's greatest talent i am not reluctant to also point out that his style of music has not been at the top of the charts for over a decade and that i have not been a fan of his since the thriller album.

this does not endear me to the top dogs of the politically correct crowd but at least no one can say that i can not think for myself.

I have lots of interesting things to talk about:

Alan Rickman movies/performances; Legos; autism; Coen Brothers movies; brains; evolution; black holes; linguistics; knitting; fractals; biodiversity; public radio; sexuality; birthday cakes; childbirth; art; beer; cheese; trees...

It's just that I never seem to find myself in a situation where it's appropriate to just start talking to someone. In the rare instances when I'm at a social event (like if my husband's coworkers are having a get together, and a babysitter magically appears, so I'm available to attend), then all people want to talk about is "get to know you" kind of stuff. They ask personal questions like, "What do you do for a living?" "What did you do before you were a stay-at-home-mom?" "When are you going back to work?" I freeze up at those questions. I can't answer them, and I don't want to be expected to ask other people those kinds of questions, because they seem nosy and rude.

I never really try to start conversations and find the best way for me is to let someone talk and just respond to them. This has taken a lot of practice. On the subject of Alan Rickman, have you ever seen his performance as Eamon De Valera in the film Micheal Collins? Apparently De Valera had Asperger traits.

I don't like football or drinking, so I have nothing to discuss with anyone.