are you a master of social skills and graces...

Page 1 of 2 [ 29 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

digger1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,002

22 Mar 2009, 12:47 pm

...in your own mind?

Often when I'm lying in bed or daydreaming, I'll be imagining myself with a bunch of peers or in a social situation and I'm the center of a discussion (the one speaking) and I'm a fraking whiz and sharp as a tack with my wit and banter. I always have the right thing to say and my timing is perfect, I never stumble over my words or stutter. I do all the gestural responses fitting to the situation.

If only I could bring that out.

:roll: <--not sarcastic. Dreamy.



pakled
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,827

22 Mar 2009, 12:54 pm

sometimes I have delusions of verbosity...;)



MONKEY
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2009
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Posts: 9,896
Location: Stoke, England (sometimes :P)

22 Mar 2009, 1:06 pm

I'm the same, usually if it's a night before meeting friends or something I have this daydream about being the life of the party and cracking everybody up with my amazing wit etc. And I plan perfect conversations and plan how I'll start them and what I will say but the next day when I do see the friends I can never put those thoughts into practice.

Last october I went to town with a mate and her friend and even though I was chatting I seemed to be giving the scarves in the shop way more eye contact thsan I was giving them, and I promised myself I wouldn't do that.


_________________
What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street.


Kaysea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Nov 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 688

22 Mar 2009, 1:27 pm

I think this is, at least in part, a coping mechanism that many of us develop early in life. By going over various hypothetical conversations that we are likely to have in a given setting, we are able to come up with potential opening lines and responses ahead of time, and thus be prepared. Of course, there also tend to be delusions of grandeur in one's fantisy world, Aspies' and NTs' alike.



warface
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 175
Location: London

22 Mar 2009, 5:32 pm

I used to experience this and IMO it's a subtle form of narcissism. It sets you up for anxiety and depression as the reality of actual social interaction will never match your daydreams. Also in the time you spend daydreaming you could be committing yourself to an actual endeavour and achieving something worthwhile and this is exactly what will make people like you.


_________________
condescend to function


digger1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,002

22 Mar 2009, 6:11 pm

:? ummm. Gee, thanks.

There's "screw you, you're a retard and you'll never amount to anything" and then there's this. Don't know which is worse



Ligea_Seroua
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Jan 2009
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 555

22 Mar 2009, 6:35 pm

or other people might call it positive visualising or something like that.

No, dont feel bad-its not exactly a crime against humanity is it? Daydreaming about how you would want things to go? I mean, I have an Oscar acceptance speech in my head, despite never even auditioning for a school play :lol: :lol:

Now if you are planning on shooting the audience of rapt listeners after your speech...that is bad. :) :lol: :wink:


_________________
Other people are people too.


elderwanda
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2008
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,555
Location: San Francisco Bay Area

22 Mar 2009, 7:26 pm

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever had a daydream that involves being in a group of people. Well, except the daydream where I'm sitting in a treehouse with a few historical figures that I admire, but we aren't socializing in that, we're just sitting quietly.

If my daydreams involve another person at all, the person is simply there in my imagination, and if I think of something funny or interesting, I can smile at them, and they understand.

But no, I don't socialize in my daydreams. Not like what you described.

I never realized that before.



protest_the_hero
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2008
Age: 180
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,053

22 Mar 2009, 11:20 pm

I always daydream about this and being Mr. Romeo!



warface
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 175
Location: London

23 Mar 2009, 4:11 am

digger1 wrote:
:? ummm. Gee, thanks.

There's "screw you, you're a retard and you'll never amount to anything" and then there's this. Don't know which is worse


It wasn't meant as an insult, I was just talking from experience. If you find that some day something good comes out of these kind of delusions then more power to you


_________________
condescend to function


digger1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,002

23 Mar 2009, 12:25 pm

I know we're all supposed to have aspergers here and stuff and we don't normally hold back with opinions but do me a favor and step the hell off. I've hade enough of people telling me what I can't do in this world and what I should be doing.

You copy?



TheKingsRaven
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 306
Location: UK

23 Mar 2009, 4:49 pm

I do this occasionally, normally I'm pretty successful socially (more by being generally nice and interested in other people than knowing how to play "the game") but when something dosn't go may way (such as a failed job interview) I'll day dream that it went perfect. Normally my daydreams tend towards adventures.

warface wrote:
I used to experience this and IMO it's a subtle form of narcissism. It sets you up for anxiety and depression as the reality of actual social interaction will never match your daydreams. Also in the time you spend daydreaming you could be committing yourself to an actual endeavour and achieving something worthwhile


I don't see why it will set you up for anxiety and depression, you could provide a little evidence. And no one works 24 hours a day so that's plenty of time for daydreaming.

digger1 wrote:
:? ummm. Gee, thanks.

There's "screw you, you're a retard and you'll never amount to anything" and then there's this. Don't know which is worse

Definitely the first one, this was well meaning, if evidently badly written advice.



velodog
Gold Supporter
Gold Supporter

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,565

23 Mar 2009, 7:15 pm

digger1 wrote:
I know we're all supposed to have aspergers here and stuff and we don't normally hold back with opinions but do me a favor and step the hell off. I've hade enough of people telling me what I can't do in this world and what I should be doing.

You copy?
:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: I feel for ya man, these 20 year old's can be rough.



24 Mar 2009, 4:11 am

I didn't anything rough about his post. :?



ImTheGuyThatDidThat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 May 2008
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,603

24 Mar 2009, 5:49 am

No i`m not - i rarely vision myself any
other way then the way i am in real life.
I find it very hard to daydream and
pretend that i "did this" and "said that",
when i didn`t, i dont know how so i dont
know how to pretend like it. And if i did
it, i think it would just confuse me, i
have enough on my mind as it is.