Those of you with Cats will understand....

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When I'm not working my day job, I'm live-in staff for a numbeof cats. Right now there is a respiratory infection going around the cats in my home, so I have to give 5 cats with different sizes & personalities--all with claws medication 2x a day.

This will give you an idea what it's like......

Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet mignon. Hold head vertically and pour ½ pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture store on way home to order new table.

Yeah, I know what you mean. I once had to force feed my cat for a couple of weeks through a syringe. Nasty.

I think you skipped a step, though -- wrap the cat in a towel. Helps keep down the razor effects of those windmill claws.

wow thats amazing. I would love to come over and make a YouTube video of this!!

I try just to imagine you doing this long process with all five cats twice a day. You would be exhausted and not doing something else...The more Im reading the more the situation escalates. I hope those last examples didnt took action for real. Poor cats, they must be terrified of you by now.

You had tried two things that I would spontaniously recommend, the wrapping in towel keeping the claws away and to push in some water directly after the pill so you made sure it swallows properly.

Theres one more option though. Smash the pill to tiny pieces and mix it together with their food. Dont keep any food available to them, let them be hungry for a while. When they get the food they will eat it emediately and tada - you got the medicine along with it....

I've not tested this technique, but I remember watching a tv programme once that suggested wearing a heavy sweater, then picking the cat up and holding them to your chest. They'll grab hold of the sweater with all 4 paws, and not want to let go for fear of falling. Then let go, and you have both hands free to give the pill.

Like I say, I've not tested it myself, I think i'd like to have something pretty heavy under the sweater as well. Something like kevlar, perhaps!

You are truly a master of the Martial Art of Cat Medicating.

That was very funny! Nicely told!

That made me laugh, and being a cat person I know just what you're talking about.