Seeing the potential...and persisting :?

Post Reply New Topic

I've found that a reoccurring issue for me is not being able to tolerate random surface conversations. I cherish the ones that evolve from a common interest because by definition I feel I can contribute something to those. The problem comes the other +75% of the time when people are engaged in small talk I don't feel I can relate to. I know the socially acceptable thing to do here is to go along with it and hope the topic changes so that my presence there isn't worthless, but I don't know specifically how to do so and also how to recognize if it's worth putting forth the effort to see it through.

This normally wouldn't bother me as much (out of numbness), but lately I've been considering the notion that putting up with these seemingly insignificant interactions could be a building point to the more intelligent conversations I instinctively desire. It seems like such a basic part of NT interactions...which adds to the frustration of walking away alone.

Auugh! Why are you assessing your self-worth based on the mindless babbling of commonplace idiots!?! Why are so many younger Aspies soooo dead set on being 'accepted' by creatures who's lives consist of lying to each other, manipulating each other, humiliating and intentionally hurting each other? Why do you want their attention? Are you a masochist? If they include you, they'll just make you the next sacrificial victim. A few times in your life, you'll accidentally run across someone else who thinks and behaves more or less like you and the meaningful conversations will click into place like form-fitted plastic. But you can't make that happen - it occurs when it occurs, meantime - well, that's what obsessive interests are for.

This normally wouldn't bother me as much (out of numbness), but lately I've been considering the notion that putting up with these seemingly insignificant interactions could be a building point to the more intelligent conversations I instinctively desire.[/quote]

No - it's not building up to anything - if they had anything worthwhile to talk about, they wouldn't be wasting breath and mental energy on the crap they do talk about. They're just not like you - and that's their loss.

Aah - can you imagine what an interesting place the world could be, if we were the majority? Every conversation would have a point and a purpose and 'reality' television would be limited to science documentaries on PBS...