should parents be allowed to smack their children?

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I don't see why people get so fixated on smacking when, for me, being shouted at was far worse - I may be touch sensitive but I am far more sensitive to loud noise and words. yet it's considered acceptable not just for parents to verbally abuse their kids but teachers too! so I guess if smacking was banned, parents would just turn to other forms of discipline... like, for example, shouting then kids would learn to be verbally abusive instead (and that seems to be what's happening). it just changes the problem rather than solving it

any kind of discipline can be misapplied. dad used to make me stand in the corner when I was naughty, but that's how I learnt to dissociate (I experience sensory underload in that situation, it's intensely stressful... though the dissociation came in useful later on for all the abuse I got at school ) trouble was then I couldn't control the dissociation, so I couldn't get done what I ought to, leading to more shouting. and loss of 'rewards' like biscuits and chocolate (creating guilt over food led to a nice eating disorder later), and loss of priveleges (like having to stay in and do work at lunchtimes - that was my decompression time!)... it just all made me neurotic about trying to be perfectly good the whole time... causing lots of stress, and mental illness! I never had a childhood.

rewarding good behaviour isn't magically right - whatever good I did was usually the 'good' things I wanted to do anyway. rewarding me for them just took all the motivation out (this is well known piece of psychology, some researchers rewarded children for reading books, and the children stopped enjoying reading).

and I was never smacked. my brother was, and he turned out perfectly normal

There's a stigma on physical punishment because it's immediately associated with child abuse. It's reasonable to assume that a parent is being cruel by slapping a child on the hand for any reason because it's been drilled into our minds that only bad parents do that. It's just another punishment, though, and like DivaD said, there are many worse punishments than a smack that don't have the connotation of child abuse.

My parents chose to never lay a finger on me, but I wouldn't have held it against them if they had. I'm not talking about going postal on a kid in anger, but just as another method to make sure he or she stays safe. I don't know if I'd use any physical punishment if I had a kid, but I don't see anything wrong with it.

That just goes to show why smacking may or may not be appropiate - rather than a one size fits all approach to discipline which has been advocated at times.

Each individual is far too complex to make arbitrary decisions like "smacking is wrong" without understanding what will or won't work at the time.

Still, I shall try and avoid it as long as a can.

p.s. I also agree that shouting can be just as futile and abusive as smacking, when used in the same haphazard manner.

The only way slapping, spanking, or hitting works as punishment is if it's PAINFUL.

Therefore, the intention is to inflict pain onto the child. If the punishment isn't painful, then slapping et al. doesn't work.

Which is why many people are against the use of it to model a child's behavior.

both, i suppose. when i've seen parents smack their children in public there seems to be anger involved- although they would probably deny that.

another thing that's always seemed strange to me is how (in the past) some teachers have routinely "caned" children as a form of punishment. if i was in that situation (as the teacher) i couldn't continue to beat a child knowing that the reason why the child is screaming and crying in pain is because i was causing him / her physical pain. i would feel too guilty.

I'm gonna get shot down in flames for this.......but!! !

In my day, when teachers still used the cane, there was a lot less disruption and a hell of a lot more respect for teachers than there is now.

Connected? I think so.

I distinctly remember everyone being impossibly well behaved for one teacher who was quite keen on the cane. I never saw this fabled thing, only heard the rumours and that was enough to keep me in my place!

Now if they could find a way to regain that respect and discipline in schools without using the threat of phsyical punishment, then we would all benefit. So far, it doesn't look too good.

I know that parents and society as a whole is also responsible for the good/bad behaviour of children, but even years ago there were "bad un's" from the wrong side of town with parents that couldn't care less. The schools seemed to be able to handle them better than they do now.
Teachers seem to live in fear of these monsters, when it should clearly be the other way round - if a mutally respectful relationship cannot be formed.

/me sits under a hard hat and waits for the onslaught of abuse!

There are legitimate reasons to hit kids. Hitting kids can actually help them. If they get energy stuck inside of them, if you know what you are doing, you can hit them and loosen the energy so it becomes unstuck. That was a really hard one for me to accept when I finally figured it out.

Most people don't do this. Most people just hit out of anger or retribution or the other listed reasons.

I also agree with the man who said that back in the day, kids were respectful. I don't know if it was threat of violence or what, but we actually had classes where we learned things when I was in school. From what I hear of school now, it sounds like a playground, only inside of a room.