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Smelena
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20 Mar 2008, 6:17 pm

kit000003 wrote:
ouinon wrote:
I just wonder how long you are prepared to put your sons through this because you want to change the system.
How long do you intend to keep trying before deciding that after all your energy, creativity, time and intelligence would be put to better use homeschooling?

My Dad was a huge fan of John Holt, ( "How children Fail" )and Ivan Illich, ( "Deschooling Society"), but he thought that , as a teacher , he could change the system from the inside, and in the 60s things looked hopeful. So I, who could not change the system, had to go to school....

:(


I don't see this as someone wanting to change the system. She had a good system set in place the previous year, it was working and she wants it back. She wants the school to do what it said it would do. It wasn't the system that screwed it up it was one evil special ed teacher (who needs up-to-date training).

Life coping skills are taught at school, even indirectly. Desensitization to crowds. Exposure to social situations that you just don't experience in a homeschool environment. Daily encounters with other children, even if it is not the most comforting thing to an aspergian child, teach them how to act in a way that just telling us can't. Simply figuring out how to concentrate in a room full of people taking a test, ruffling papers and such, is an astounding task. School prepares an Aspergian for the bombardment of work and life crisises that come up once they have to go into the world, more so i think than it does for the NT child.


Thankyou Kit. Yes the system was working well last year with the right personnel. The boys were doing well.

They like their friends at school. They enjoy activities such as drama, computer skills, maths etc

Ouinon, I appreciate your passion for homeschooling. However I am quite irritated by your constant posting on various threads. The threads you have started about homeschooling are fine. I'm talking about the many other threads that you've made judgemental comments about homeschooling).

You are making judgement statements about other parents. How can you presume to judge other families and their decisions? Every family is unique and different things work for them.

I am not going to defend my decisions to you. It's none of your busines.

Helen



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20 Mar 2008, 7:43 pm

ouinon wrote:
Smelena wrote:
I had the meeting this morning with the Principal and Vice Principal. The Principal has a daughter with ADHD and says she understands all the crap I go through.
I said I was extremely disappointed that the huge gains we made last year have all disappeared and the boys have reverted to former behaviours. They are displaying violence towards each other and me, cannot get themselves dressed or breakfasted in the morning like they used to, are having frequent meltdowns etc .With the gains we made last year, they were having meltdowns maybe 1/fortnight and they weren't too bad. ALso, they were getting more independent and organised with dressing, feeding and bathing themselves. I stated that my children internalise their anxiety and sensory overload and let it out at home; the boys are really suffering. I am back having to dress them for school, closely supervise meals. I stated that I now consider it will be a luxury when the boys can dress themselves again. I want her to know the suffering my sons are experiencing.
The Principal sorted out problems we had last year with a crappy classroom teacher. She spent a lot of time counselling him/training him and he actually ended up doing a reasonable job with my 9 year old son. I've been concerned that the 7 year old is really struggling . They have been reassuring me that he's doing great. Yesterday the Principal went to investigate and they told her he's been having 1-2 meltdowns per day in class and is really struggling. I stated that I can not continue to waste my time with my sons being poorly managed.
I just wonder how long you are prepared to put your sons through this because you want to change the system.
How long do you intend to keep trying before deciding that after all your energy, creativity, time and intelligence would be put to better use homeschooling?

My Dad was a huge fan of John Holt, ( "How children Fail" )and Ivan Illich, ( "Deschooling Society"), but he thought that , as a teacher , he could change the system from the inside, and in the 60s things looked hopeful. So I, who could not change the system, had to go to school....

:(



Ouinion, not every parents can homeschool. As a matter of fact, where we live, they're making it harder for parents to do so...trying to pass laws saying the parents have to have credentials. Plus, if a kid can make it in school, schools generally have more onsight resources.

Aside of that, not everyone has the economic wherewithall to homeschool. Sometimes both parents have to work. And, when there are other kids involved, devoting all day to one can be problematic. It all depends on the person's circumstances.

I, personally, would not urge my wife to do it unless she absolutely has to. My wife is a stay-at-home mother and she could if she wanted. But, we feel our kid needs to be around normal kids outside of his siblings. He needs the interaction. We didn't fight to get all of these special programs in place for him at school just to pull him out. Schools need to stick with the IEP. You can't just break a contract without explanation or repercussion.



KimJ
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20 Mar 2008, 8:27 pm

I would also add that there is a difference between disinterested school systems and crappy individuals in the school your kids are attending. We've had various situations where the administration was supporting us all the way but a clerk and a teacher screwed things up. We've had well-intentioned evaluators screw up my son's scores so he was placed in the wrong level of classes. Those are fixable problems that are worth adjusting. Smelena has had a working situation and one crap teacher shouldn't ruin it all.



ouinon
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21 Mar 2008, 3:01 am

Smelena wrote:
Ouinon, I appreciate your passion for homeschooling.
Quite obviously you don't. If I keep quiet about it, just suggest it politely from time to time etc, that is alright, but..
Quote:
I am quite irritated by your constant posting on various threads. The threads you have started about homeschooling are fine. I'm talking about the many other threads that you've made comments about homeschooling.
Like homeschooling is clearly such a minority option that it shouldn't appear all over the place.

I believe, on the other hand, that mention of homeschooling is both relevant and urgent on all threads about problems experienced in school. If I didn't find this forum too depressing to be on much I would already have posted as often about homeschooling as other people do about medication, IEPs, and keeping a written record of each exchange/battle, including outcome/score.

Quote:
You are making judgement statements about other parents. How can you presume to judge other families and their decisions?
I asked you a question; what seemed to me to be a serious question:
ouinon wrote:
I just wonder how long you are prepared to put your sons through this. How long do you intend/plan to keep trying before deciding that your energy, creativity, time and intelligence, would be put to better use homeschooling?
If your sons' happiness/well being is a priority, and not fighting the system/school, how long are you prepared to see them:
Smelena wrote:
...displaying violence...cannot get themselves dressed or breakfasted...having frequent meltdowns...internalising their anxiety and sensory overload and letting it out at home[ed: where they obviously feel safe enough to do that]...really suffering...suffering...really struggling..1-2 meltdowns per day...struggling..
.
I really and truly don't understand the logic. Why keep them somewhere/anywhere that they are miserable? :? 8O :? 8O :?
Quote:
I am not going to defend my decisions to you. It's none of your business.
You don't have to, this isn't an exam. But this is a discussion forum, and I am responding to your posts.

Most of the time I don't because the state-schooling monopoly on here is so depressing; the attitude that homeschooling is an option for only a few families, that state-schooling is necessarily good; as DW_a_mom puts it, as if it were a religion and you were all or mostly "true believers". My real beliefs are heresy here.

I just got a bit fed up of keeping quiet about probably the most significant expression of my parenthood, and about the damage the state system does every day to millions of children, and consequently to society.

:!:



Last edited by ouinon on 21 Mar 2008, 3:17 am, edited 3 times in total.

ouinon
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21 Mar 2008, 3:10 am

NewportBeachDude wrote:
Ouinion, not every parent can homeschool.
I know that. But am I not supposed to argue for it just because not everyone can do it? 8O :? 8O :? 8O

:?



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21 Mar 2008, 4:03 am

ouinon wrote:
NewportBeachDude wrote:
Ouinion, not every parent can homeschool.
I know that. But am I not supposed to argue for it just because not everyone can do it? 8O :? 8O :? 8O

:?



Here's your quote to the Smelena: "How long do you intend to keep trying before deciding that after all your energy, creativity, time and intelligence would be put to better use homeschooling?"


How can she even answer that question if homeschooling isn't an option? It has to be an option first to make the decision. For many it isn't.

I think homeschooling is great for some, but not-so-great for others. The Autie parents we know who homeschool aren't doing it by choice. They were forced to do it for a variety of reasons. Most of them have older kids, though. You don't find too many of the younger ones in EI programs homeschooling. At least not here.



ouinon
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21 Mar 2008, 4:27 am

NewportBeachDude wrote:
ouinon wrote:
NewportBeachDude wrote:
Ouinion, not every parent can homeschool.
I know that. But am I not supposed to argue for it just because not everyone can do it? 8O :? 8O
Here's your quote to the Smelena: "How long do you intend to keep trying before deciding that after all your energy, creativity, time and intelligence would be put to better use homeschooling?" How can she even answer that question if homeschooling isn't an option?
I definitely got the impression that it was a choice on her part, a decision to go that way because she believes that she would go mad if she had to homeschool, :wink: , important not to give up on the system, etc. ( See my thread "Could your child stay home if s/he wanted to? ). :?:

I think almost everyone could homeschool if they wanted to, ( it really isn't difficult), so long obviously as are not so financially constrained that no parent could be home to do it.

8)



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21 Mar 2008, 12:43 pm

ouinon wrote:
NewportBeachDude wrote:
ouinon wrote:
NewportBeachDude wrote:
Ouinion, not every parent can homeschool.
I know that. But am I not supposed to argue for it just because not everyone can do it? 8O :? 8O
Here's your quote to the Smelena: "How long do you intend to keep trying before deciding that after all your energy, creativity, time and intelligence would be put to better use homeschooling?" How can she even answer that question if homeschooling isn't an option?
I definitely got the impression that it was a choice on her part, a decision to go that way because she believes that she would go mad if she had to homeschool, :wink: , important not to give up on the system, etc. ( See my thread "Could your child stay home if s/he wanted to? ). :?:

I think almost everyone could homeschool if they wanted to, ( it really isn't difficult), so long obviously as are not so financially constrained that no parent could be home to do it.

8)



Ouinion, I will look at the other thread. I actually skipped over that thread because when I saw it I thought it was about, "Could your kid stay at home on their own without the parent being there."

I didn't know it was about homeschooling. Duh! I'll check it out late.