Looking Ahead: Middle School

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The evolving question in my son's life ...

His teacher is recommending him for honor's courses across the board when he gets to Middle School next year, which includes subjects in which he currently has difficulty (and frustration), like language arts. The teacher's point is that my son will enjoy the higher of level of discussion in those courses, and be bored in the classroom if he is in the "regular" group. What I worry about is the higher work load OUTSIDE of classroom hours, because this is something my son already struggles with. Homework is very, very stressful for him. He can get very angry and frustrated trying to execute assingments. The teacher is comfortable that because my son has an IEP, his personal needs can be accomodated, allowing him to access the more interesting course work but in the way that works for him (currently we are allowed to nix sections of homework, just by signing off, or to allow him to dictate). He has asked my son if he is willing to try it, knowing that he can always bump down to "regular," while bumping up is difficult. My son has considered it and feels this is a fair request by the teacher, but I think he's nervous about it (he would have picked honors math and scienc; regular language arts). My understanding is that this particular middle school is very good at following IEP's and well recommended for special education students. Still, I am skeptical. We still have months to go before we have to live this, but the recommendations go in now. Stress has been such a huge issue for my son. I worry about asking too much of him.

What experiences have others had with these types of decisions?

the added social stress of middle school should be a factor you consider as well..........my son was ( and still is) fully capable of doing honors level work-if he didn't have to deal with the massive amounts of students in the halls and his classes....the bullies...the increased expectations of teachers on middle-schoolers.

So how do you choose ahead of time? Or will we just have to see? Be ready to make adjustments as we go?

I've already told my son that if the school is willing to offer a support period instead of his taking enrichment classes, we should seriously consider it. He loves to learn, but there are always trade offs.

it's very hard to make that decision..........so hard to know....my son never spoke of all the problems he was having until he was suicidal. so much depends on how your son is at communicating. if he's fairly adept at expressing his concerns, then i'd say try the honors classes-he'll tell you when and if it's too difficult...............if he's not very good at expressing his concerns, well, i'd seriously consider not putting him in the honors classes...or at the very least be on the lookout for a rise in his anxiety level.
and if you're put in the position that the school makes you decide between a support period & enrichment classes- take the support period.

Thanks, Ster.

Yesterday my son came out with the most interesting self-analysis, while we were driving in the car to my mom's. He talked about how he had "taught" himself not to feel minor physical pain (I never knew he had done that), but how he was discovering it had a side effect he wasn't happy with, in that he was not always feeling the emotional pain he wanted to, and now he was trying to reteach himself that. He's 10! This concept blew me away: choosing what to feel. I've often wondered if someone like Temple Gradin, who has talked about not feeling the same emotions the rest of us do, actually was born with an over-heightened sense, and turned it off as a self-defense mechanism. It's the only way I can reconcile how past autistics tended to not express emotion, and many have said they don't have them, with the autistics I see today, that strike me as MORE emotional than NT's. And there my son is, admitting that he turned himself off to pain (he cannot remember why or when, I did ask).

He shares a lot, but not always timely.

DWMom - we are facing the same - Middle school - honor's classes.
We have until 6/30 to change our minds about placement.
As it goes right now E will only be taking one honor's class - language arts.
I may change my mind once I see how she does overall in 5th grade. I am not against her taking honor's in Science and History - I just want to make sure she can handle the workload.
She will not be taking AP math (no honor's in math - just AP or regular).
The middle school E will attend also has a support class - like study hall - but not the study hall I remember from the 80's (! !)

Good luck!

At the very least, you're going into this next part of his life knowing his diagnosis....knowing some of the ups and downs....this will help you prepare him for what lies ahead.............my son wasn't dxed until he was 13, when he was suicidal from all the social pressures & bullying that takes place at the middle school he went to........If I could go back in time, the only thing I'd change is that he got a dx when he was younger before all the social issues came to a head.

They really pile on the homework for honors language arts classes (reading & writing). I don't know what the regular class would be like though. Regular class might be too boring.

I'm definitely not an expert in this situation, but I have some experience with our older son.

He was NOT taking AP or honor courses in high school, but he was complaining about the type of unachieving students there were in his regular ed classes. It was the other STUDENTS that began to bother him, that they were uninterested in learning, that the conversation level in class was low, etc. We got tired of hearing him complain, so we said that he should try honors classes. He finally took an honors class as a Junior in high school, and liked it. He could finally understand the difference and the reason WHY people take upper-level courses, other than for status purposes.

He took two AP courses (not ALL AP courses, like many high-achieving seniors take) in his Senior year, and totally enjoyed them.

I think that with a child who has a rough time with homework, I would have him try one honors class -- whichever class he would love the most -- and see how it goes. If he does well with one, then he could try two the next year. Maybe two classes this year, but definitely not language arts if he has difficulty with that one.

This is merely my humble opinion --

Kris

Thanks for the input. You all have helped me sort this out quite a lot.

I worry about the honors for language arts. That is totally against what my son and I had talked about before meeting with the teacher. I do see the teacher's points, but he is also the only teacher who sees my child as practically a straight A student, being nice and soft and letting my son have a half-way accpetable grade for spelling when my son, himself, really believes he deserved to flunk. I can't expect that attitude to exist in a 6th grade honors level language arts teacher. If it looks like it will, great, my son might enjoy it. But if not, my son is going to end up frustrated, upset, and with a very poor grade.

OK, NOW I think I have the final deciding factor for us: we need to know what the teacher would be like. Funny thing is that often the honors teachers are more willing to let a child like mine get away with things than a regular class teacher, so if we luck out that way, it could work. If not, we're downgrading.

Hopefully I can tour the school and meet some of the likely teachers soon.