How much emphasis do you place on what you look like?

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I was wondering because i have heard (i read an article) that there are women out there that think "if only i had better boobs/bum/hips or whatever else i would be happy and my life would be better" this i do not get.

i don't link looks to sucess or a persons worth. so what is the point of thinking that?. i understand you have to be tidy and all but what is the point of trying to fit into a mould that is only suited to something like 5% of people?

its not just women i think...

im a guy and i often feel ugly and repulsive to women... prolly cause they run a mile as soon as they think im possibly interested in them...

despite this i am a University Student doing a joint honours course, i am a decent guy, i help run a House church over 100 miles away, and i do alot of stuff to help the poor and homeless, and outcast of society... i am funny and can make people laugh, and i am reliable and dependable...etc...

but its one thing that really bugs me i guess...

i often wish i was taller and better looking...

Thats a difficult question because it depends where we are. It matters sometimes because we need to fit in and make sure that we aren't offensive to others by way of body odour or perfume thats too strong for instance, so we have to make some effort.

I don't think our looks matter too much but I did think so when I was a young teenager because I believed myself to be ugly. However, as I got older many people thought I was "pretty" or "attractive" but we don't see ourselves in the same way as others see us.

One of my relatives was qutie an ugly man to be honest if you really inspected him when he sat reading the paper but he laughed and smiled so much and had such a good nature that he became attractive and anyone can do that. Even the most handsome or prettiest of girls will seem offputting if they are always miserable with a long face and always complaining about life or things.

I remember sitting on a bus after someone I loved very much had died, I was not taking much care of myself and someone said "She's pretty but she smells" and it was true. You cannot rely on looks alone.

Now I am an older lady and looks don't seem that important though my family do wish I wouldn't wear my torn fisherman coat when I have good tailored middle aged lady coats to wear

For me appearance is very important, and I don't think it's shallow or dysfunctional. I want to look nice and pretty so people will like me. I remember when I was a little girl and how much it meant to me that there were women who had long hair and pretty clothes. It made me feel safer that there were women out there who made a point of looking more receptive. Now I want to, too. But it's for kids, and for other women who will be nice back, not for men who will come on to me (it's niceness, not sexuality - got that, guys?)

I don't get that either. I think anyone getting plastic surgery just to improve their looks is rather shallow.

I don't think there's anything wrong with getting plastic surgery - people should be free to do whatever they want with their own bodies.

However, it is absurd to think that something like a nose job will actually improve one's quality of life or make one "happy" (whatever that is - no one is constantly happy). Cosmetic surgery is expensive and it's not covered by insurance. Why not use that money to have a pleasant experience instead of a painful one? If you have $10,000 to spend on a boob job, why not take a year off from work, go to a place where $10,000 will last a year (almost anywhere if you're resourceful), and do something you've always wanted to do. Write a novel, learn a new language, volunteer at a lemur rescue facility, whatever.

It's creepy that society encourages us to scrutinize our bodies for flaws, but I don't think it's hard to resist that kind of pressure and think for oneself . . . I mean, I occasionally think, "What if I meet the perfect guy or girl for me and s/he doesn't like me because my ankles are too thick?" but it's easy to answer that question. If someone found me unattractive because of something like the shape of my ankles, s/he would not be someone I'd want to date, even if s/he seemed perfect at first.

thankyou for posting peoples,
i understand the importance of putting a good image forward and all, but one thing i don't like is that there are elements in society that put looks above everything. why spend money on making yourself look like the fashionable people want you to look when the look will just go out of style and you will be considered "uncool" again?
me thinks one has to just look the best that one can.

i am afraid that I need to pay better attention to how i look than I do. I am 32, have been overweight since childhood...will probably not be able to find a boyfriend who does not have a wandering eye...I guess most of them do...(i have been in relationships since I hit puberty...it is the only way I know)
In order to compete with all the younger more attractive girls who are smart and capable and can drive and have emotional intelligence that cooresponds with their age...and all of the "adult" beautiful women who are smart and interesting and witty...and "Adult"...I need to lose about 30lbs and dress better... and do all the little things my boyfriend says he doesn't really care about but actually does..

...sorry...going through a very insecure phase at the moment...

masses of emphasis, but not to do with getting a guy or a better life. It's obsessive control stuff, almost all in the "not like that" category, about my hair, clothing shapes textures, colour shades, styles, and skin coverage, etc. I seek a kind of "zero" , don't want to look like i'm this or that or the other.

Abstract i guess; like there's no body, no emotion, no group, no physical messy thing, no logos or letterings, no overt textures, no messages.

Didn't used to be like that; used to use bright colours, accessories etc.

But it can be very wearing, even though it has nothing to do with thinking appearance will bring me stuff. Possibly in fact it's the opposite; I'm trying as hard as possible to avoid attention, connection, etc.

Soory about my previous post..i was kinda drunk and depressed...I bon't put an extreme amount of emphasis on how I look. i have a slightly quirky sense of asthetic..but that's about it.
I should probably place more emphasis on my appearance, but it does not come very naturally...especialy these days when I am lucky to get a shower a week.

The main reasons I should place emphahsis on my appearance is so that I can get a job, and feel comfortable with myself.

Scratch that last stuff...i was just upset because my boyfriend is about to get a job as a bartender...and I was feeling insecure, because I know he is going to get hit on alot.

fair enough. i should make more effort with my looks i think i tend to just pull on some random clothes (matching ones) and brush my hair and walk out the door. mum wants me to wear makeup but i can't be bothered. (and it feels weird on my face)

I sometimes forget to brush my hair until very late some days and often cannot remember if I did it or not. It doesn't seem to matter now its a lot shorter.

I didn't put much thought into it until I was 16 or so - and then I became aware that others made fun of my appearance - my (lack of) grooming, my (odd and eccentric) clothing, and my (sometimes poor) hygiene.

I was hyper aware of my appearance for a number of years thereafter and tried very hard to fit all stereotypes for the kind of girl I "wanted to be". I copied what those women wore, tried to emulate their style, and spent a LOT of money on treatments and such.

I've relaxed since then - I would say now I'm still very conscious of how I look, but I try not to copy others (I just look silly and end up with a closet full of stuff I hate when I do that) but I also take care to not be TOO eccentric. I make sure I shower every morning, brush my hair (even if I just put it in a ponytail, and wear clothes that are clean and unstained. On most days, I even match!

I find that others treat me better when I look nice (society's definition of nice, not my own) so I work very hard at doing that.