Aspies Bad Mimes? (Or, There IS a nonverbal path to China!)

Post Reply New Topic

It's funny - though I've read about body language and know it exists, I didn't realise I don't do it til recently. Or read it. I thought I "knew" about body language. Like an observer or something. I just watch it and know it exists, but I have no idea what it's communicating or what I'm communicating by my own.
Weird huh?
Thanks for the insight into your research.

Very interesting! I don't think it would do any good to mirror the action if you did not know what the action was reflection. For example, If I stand with my arms crossed it means something very different then when other people do it. I know all my communications classes have said it means closed or distanced but I do it at my most comfortable. It really just lets me stand in a comfortable and relaxed position. The funny thing is that people that know me very well still think I am mad or cold.

Y

Another thought on this subject. I am watching a concert and it occured to me that watching people sing is one way to learn the common meanings of body language. It is fairly clear what emotion the person is singing about and they use body language when they sing.

Just a thought.

Y

Acting lessons can be great! Yeah, good thought. I'm a trained actor, took acting lessons for several years. Stanislavki, Meisner, etc.

But acting doesn't teach the knowledge of what actions mean, because most all the students know that intuitively, so it's good to learn those separately. Otherwise, an aspie can get lost on the stage pretty easily.

I've just been doing some more reading on this.

Mirroring someone--called synchronizing--can be very effectual as a means of making someone comfortable, not just of judging their emotional state. You match your breathing to theirs, mirror or follow their gestures, their voice tone, cadence and volume, their posture, etc. Expert salesmen do this all the time.

It's a way of subconsciously saying, "We are at ease and in rapport." And it WORKS like crazy. I've been trying it out. All the sudden, people feel like you get them. It's weird, but true. And unless one is foolish about it, people never notice you're doing it! And the communication gets worlds better.

Thanks Groovy Druid and everybody else. What you've been saying is very helpful to me. For years I couldn't understand what I was missing, to the point of thinking it was all a telepathic conspiracy. (Yes I know it's insane but untill I found out I had Asperger's I was howling mad). Now I'm starting to piece together the wreckage and am studying Animation at university. The problem is I'm living on campus with a zillion NTs and need to communicate all the time. My question to you and everyone else is how do I approach people who I've spoken to before and am sure like me or at least did last time, how do I pick up the threads? I've talked to a hundred people after a few beers but am scared to approach them later and they seem to pick up on it. P

I'm so glad it helped.



I had the same thing. I'm still picking up the pieces. Good for you to keep on slugging it out.



That is the problem, isn't it? All these NTs.... Maybe this was our planet first. Maybe THEY'RE on the Wrong Planet!

The part I put in bold, that is the key. That's where body language saves your bacon. Oviously, one cannot rely on last time's conversation to evaluate the mindstate of a person today. You're like a blind guy in a hockey game. One must be able to read where the person is NOW, and how they react to you as you go along. They almost never will tell you in words, not truthfully. But their body will scream it like a neon sign, and you've got them pegged.

Did you read the Eye Contact Article?

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=8100


Also, there is a poll there now to decide what the next article should be about. Please vote. I'd love to research and write about things that are important to people here. We can go after your questions in depth.


Also, you might want to read this thread:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=8075&highlight=

It's on "Signs of Attraction." My guess is you'll find it useful.