Flirting

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I am looking for some tips on flirting.

My wife is all over the map on what she is comfortable with, but usually has a wide range. My problem is that I am only good a flirting with girls that I have little to no interest in. (You would think this problem would be solved by now, but I also have no idea how I am 'flirting' with these girls of whom I have no interest in. )

I know that what is appropriate in flirting is in the eye of the beholder, but I am looking for more on mechanism rather than appropriateness. She has no qualms telling me I have gone to far and holds few grudges so trial and error will serve for the that aspect.

I guess more of my problem is just not knowing what to do.

Also, some ques as to what would be appropriate for her mood.

confidence, my young padawan.

A smile, a head nod, a combination of them is also considered flirting. You could also make it obvious (not TOO obvious) that you've noticed her and how attractive you think she is. You could try complimenting her, her outfit, her jewelry, her perfume... It all comes down to confidence. If you have enough, you'd be surprised at what you can do.

Do you mean flirting with your wife? Why would you flirt with someone else when you're married? I would HATE it if my husband flirted with anyone else than me.

I have that problem too, where every time I'm trying to talk to someone it seems I'm flirting. Pay attention, smile, try to be friendly???

Yep, flirting with my wife.

I hate that what I intend to be plutonic turns out to be flirty with other women, but when I am trying to be flirty with the Mrs. I end up not being so flirty. It's weird but I still get all "engineer around a girl" with her.

Confidence if of course a given.

Dirty talk of differing degrees is also applied as well as compliments. The compliments range from how much I admire and respect the work she does to how much her **** makes me want to ****.

We have sex fairly often and get along, but I just don't feel like the flirting side of things has survived Grad School, completing school, and the stress of layoffs and changing jobs.

I guess I am asking girls what would put them in a playful mood with their boyfriend, fiance or husband?

It seems you actually want to know how to suppress your flirty behavior. Here are a few tips.

1. Make no physical contact with other women.
2. If you must make physical contact with another woman, act like she has cooties. You know the drill.
3. Make no eye contact with other women. Easy enough for most Aspies.
4. If you make eye contact, do not smile. Again, an aspie piece of cake.
5. Do not speak to another woman unless she speaks to you first. Otherwise, look bored and uninterested.
6. If you must speak to another women, keep it short and to the point. A simple grunt will suffice in most cases.
7. After the other woman is out of earshot, make a rude or uncomplimentary comment about her. Memorize phrases like "Fat Butt," "Whiny Voice," and "Smells Funny."

Apply this to everyone (including waitresses) except your wife (apply the opposite), mother, sisters, and daughters. Eventually, your wife will start complaining about your anti-social behavior, and you can go back to being nice.


Women have many behavioral characteristics, both obvious and subtle. Here are a few:

1. They are insecure about everything, especially their own appearance and the love of their man. Thus, they will see any polite behavior towards other women as flirting, and see a competitor in every woman that catches your attention.
2. Moodiness. What makes her purr like a kitten one day will irritate you the next. Don't try to figure it out, just expect it.
3. They are all about change. No matter how you behave, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, you could have ... should have ... done it differently. Even if you do something exactly the way they tell you, you've done it wrong.
4. They have contempt for natural male behavior, and see nothing wrong when they behave the same way. Guys look at girls. We can't help it. It's like a moth to a flame. By the time a man overcomes this natural reflex, he's usually too old to do anything other than look. Yet women can get away with checking out other women and making judgment on their hair, their lips, the size of their breasts, et cetera.
5. Finally, they will deny any statement of the obvious about their own behavior. At the very least, they will try to justify their own hypocrisy with extenuating conditions.

Disclaimer: The above statements do not apply to every woman, everywhere, and all the time. But if a man behaves as if they do, then he will avoid a lot of trouble.